The Jump
by harleyw90
Summary: Future Finntana fic. She's a successful lawyer, he's an unemployed drunk with a face full of bruises and a broken foot from a chevrolet. He's fallen from grace and onto the devil's couch... But maybe she's what saves him...  yuck i hate summaries!
1. The Running In

**Another Finntana fic only this time it's set 4 years after high-school graduation and it's going to be a long tale of many chapters... Unless of course people think it's no good and then I may not waste my time, but I have it planned out (with more comedic/smuttier chapters in the future) so hopefully it I'll get through it! ****So um.. yeh hope you enjoy! All reads and reviews greatly appreciated!**

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><p>She has an office. Granted it's the smallest office in the firm but it's still her own personal office with her own desk and chair and computer and a shiny gold plate on the door with the name 'Santana Lopez, J.D.' engraved on it. And it's all deserved.<p>

After graduating high school she worked her butt off at the 'University of Chicago Law School', graduating with honors and earning herself an immediate internship at a respected firm in Cincinnati Ohio, in which she now has her own office and gold plated nametag.

Despite being her first official day as a paid attorney the workload is already high and stressful, so when some of the girls from the firm invite her out for celebratory drinks to wind down the end of the day, she doesn't think twice about accepting. So after locking the door to her new office and swelling with pride one last time at the sight of her gold name plate, she heads out with her new coworkers to an elegant bar down the street. It's the kind of stuffy and 'hoity-toity' place the old 'Lima-Heights-Santana' would have scoffed at and thrown two fingers up to, but she was now a new Santana; a classier Santana whose background was unknown to her new peers and whose background would remain unknown…

Her workmates are nice; a little judgmental and condescending to those around them, but in general she seems to share their opinions so they get along just fine. And her direct attitude and quick wit allows her to establish herself in the group effortlessly, so she ends up having a pretty good time. All in all she's ready to chalk this down as a great day. The beginning of a new era, and a great start to the rest of her future…

That is until some giant oaf clatters to the ground after falling off a bar stool across the room and as he gets up and loudly starts apologizing to the entire bar in a drunken slur, she recognizes the face of someone she once knew. It's been so long since she last saw him; she has to double take to make sure she's not seeing things. But sure enough, standing completely opposite her is the drunken body with the unmistakable face of the giant oaf named Finn Hudson. No. Shit. Her eyes widen animatedly whilst her mind suddenly jumps alert with a thousand thought processes, the first and most prominent of which issues the word 'AVOID' stamped across the inside of her head in large, flashing red letters. She shifts uncomfortably in her seat as her friends gradually start paying attention to the buffoon across the bar. But it's fine. She'll just completely ignore his existence and hope for the sake of her new friendships and respect from her coworkers that for the love of god he doesn't come over and recognize her. And even if he does, she can deny it. After all, who would believe a giant, slobbish drunk who was now laughing hysterically at what looked to be a peanut, over a hot, respectable lawyer. No one. So, panic over, back to the conversation. But she's smirking. Every neuron in her brain is reminding her that blanking the embarrassing drunk is by far the best option, yet somehow she becomes powerless to a little smirk that forms across her lips as memories and flashbacks of everything associated with the name, Finn Hudon, play out in her head. However, the mocking laughs of her colleagues snap her back into the present as she joins them in watching the comical sight of Finn being escorted/thrown out of the premises.

Her reputation breathes a huge sigh of relief but as the girls go back to their conversation once more, yet she can't help ponder a million different questions about her blast from the past. What happened to him after McKinley? What was he doing now? Where did he live? Was he still with Rachel Berry? Was he happy? The answers to the last two questions seemed pretty obvious given the state she'd just seen him in, however she couldn't help but itch in curiosity to what the rest of the answers were.

Finn Hudson was always a sort of novelty to her - an easy target to mock and prank but someone she still respected and cared about, even if she didn't always admit that at the time. After leaving McKinley she never looked back, she just kept her eyes on the prize and focused solely on what was in front of her. Running from it all allowed her to avoid any crippling nostalgia of high school and more specifically 'New Directions', but seeing him again awoke an ache in her chest she had been desperate to prevent over the last four years. After years of ignoring it all, it was now impossible to deny how much she missed the glee club and it aggravated her how one fleeting glimpse of one of its members had undone all her hard work in evading this fact. Fuck it. Realizing it's a losing battle she gives into her curiosity, making her excuses to her friends and thanking them for the night as she hastily makes her way out of the bar in an irrational effort to track down and interrogate the ex-glee club co-captain.

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><p>It doesn't take very long to find him, as he hadn't stumbled very far - although his distance seems reasonable given the amount of energy he was using up singing the song 'Out Tonight' from 'Rent' at the top of his lungs. (Perhaps he was still hanging around with Berry…)<p>

As she begins to close the distance between them, he just about makes it to the chorus of the song and so begins howling and flailing his arms around goofily as he stumbles off the sidewalk and into the road. The sight of his awkward dancing forces an eye-roll and a slight snigger from her and a strange rush of excitement takes over in anticipation of speaking to him again after so long.

"Some things never change, do they Hudson? Or should I say 'drunk'-son!"

Finn turns on his heels a little too fast, causing his eyes to keep spinning in his head a little longer than the rest of his body, and after a little composure is regained, his mouth literally drops at the sight of Santana Lopez calling him out.

"Y-you? No… wait. You? Is that…. Standana?"

Another chuckle escapes her as she continues to close the distance between them. He hasn't changed one bit. He's still tall and awkward, like a baby giraffe that wasn't quite used to its oversized proportions and consequently looked like it could topple over at any second. She thinks he's filled out a bit though and despite the worn-down scrubbiness of his attire she can tell he's in pretty good shape. The headlights from a distant car allow her to see him more clearly as she finally catches up with the surprised drunk. At first all she can see is his childish grin beaming ear to ear, flashing those adorable dimples and the warmth of his familiar amber eyes. However the excitement that had been building up to this moment disperses in an instant, as she notices the more than obvious bruises and swellings surrounding those amber eyes and the bright gashes that lay across the corner of an attempted raised eyebrow and stretched bottom lip.

He may have been smiling but his face is battered and worn and he looks like he hasn't shaved in a few weeks. Her heart does a funny jump from seeing him like this. She doesn't know whether to feel sympathetic, scared or just plain shocked so a little of each emotion takes over her as she adjusts to the sight. He looks fucking awful.

"Finn, what the hell happened to you? Are you okay?"

He gives her a little shrug and a look to say a combination of 'where do I begin' and 'you don't want to know', but before he can say anything, the headlights from the distant car swiftly get closer as the now not–so-distant vehicle runs over the foot of the drunken idiot standing on the edge of the road, causing a yell to erupt from him that sounds fairly similar to the noise he was producing during his rendition of the 'Rent' song a minute ago.

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><p>He passes out in the ambulance ride on the way to the hospital. Whether because of the pain from having his foot run over or from the level of alcohol intake it was unsure, but luckily for him and the hospital staff, he ends up sleeping right through his visit. And as another bonus of luck, the boy happened to be wearing the best type of footwear one could hope to wear when getting your feet flattened by the wheel of a Chevrolet Cobalt and so escapes with just a couple of fractures. He's out cold, but all wrapped up and the nurses have finally decided he's best left alone to sleep it off so, without thinking, she takes the opportunity to search through his jacket and pockets for clues to what his situation is. But there's hardly anything to be found except a small packet of gummy worms, some business cards with some weird band logo on it and his wallet, which contains an old family picture and $3 in change. No keys, no phone, no credit-card…. If she hadn't had been there it would have been impossible for the hospital staff to identify him at all. She can't help but feel sad wondering what on earth had happened to him. Last she remembers he was heading off with Puck to Boston College or somewhere with a football scholarship and now here he was 4 years later, lying in a hospital bed with a fractured foot, a battered face and dribbling what was probably an excess from the volume of beer he had downed that night.<p>

It was now ridiculously late and she has an early start in the morning so again without thinking she hastily puts his limited possessions back where she found them, slips her business card into his jacket pocket with a scribbled 'call me when you wake up' note written on the back, and exits the hospital, calling a cab to take her home. She feels slightly bad leaving him but he seemed content with being completely out of it and she knows he'll find her card in the morning so her conscience is soon clear. After getting back to her apartment she wastes no time in getting ready for bed and making sure her alarm clock's set an extra 20 minutes early so that she has time in the morning to call Brittney (the only friend from McKinley with whom she has stayed in touch over the years) to tell her the crazy story of how she had randomly run into a scarily messed up Finn Hudson, and how a Chevrolet Cobalt literally ran into him as well...


	2. The Details

The next morning is rough. She hasn't really slept all night and her boss decides to dump another case on her already demanding workload, so the words stressed-out don't really begin to cut it at the moment. Still, when her phone rings during her lunch break with a now sober Finn Hudson on the other line asking to meet her for a drink later, she doesn't hesitate to oblige.

So straight after she finishes work she heads off to meet him at a bar a bit further up town, she figures might be the only place in the district he's yet to be thrown out of! He's already there when she arrives and he makes it impossible for her not to notice him by wildly flagging one of his new crutches up in the air. He's sitting with someone else, and as she gets closer to the table it doesn't take her long to recognize the still mohawked-head of Noah Puckerman.

If she felt a tad nervous or awkward getting out her car the short walk to their table had somehow completely cured her of that and as she smoothly slides herself into the leather bench across the table from them, it's as if she's sliding herself back into all that was comfortable and familiar.

"Sup boys?"

The three old friends exchange acquainted smiles and her ego begins to involuntarily boost from the way both boys are looking at her in awe.

"Damn Lopez. Finn's beer goggles weren't lying when he told me you're more smoking than ever!"

(So apparently no three of them had changed)

"Well duh, you didn't think I was gonna be one of those girls who went off to college gained 200 pounds and forgot how to shower did you?"

Finn was again beaming from ear to ear and despite still looking like the shadow of the boy she once knew, his sober state's a much improvement on his drunken.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asks her enthusiastically, using his crutches to climb to his feet in a much less than elegant way.

"No that's ok I'll go, you have a broken foot remember!"

"Oh no please let me, I owe you big time for coming to my rescue last night – which was awesome so thank you by the way! Besides I'm not very good on these and the nurse said the more I practice on them the quicker I'll get used to them. So um…."

"Okay dry martini please."

"Dry martini coming up!"

She doesn't know what version of events he remembers from last night, but she'd preferred to have him think of her as his rescuer than confess it was her fault for distracting him while he was in the road, so she just lets him go, turning her attention to Puck while trying not to burst into laughter at the sorry sight of Finn staggering his way to the bar.

"So Lopez. Haven't seen or heard from you in 4 years. What's up with that? I thought you and I were homeboys. Don't tell me you haven't missed the Puckster and haven't thought about me every night since we've been apart!"

"Funny, on my way over here I thought about delivering that exact speech to you but then I realized I'm not a complete douche."

She and Puck had always had this kind of relationship. And she greatly appreciates how after 4 years with no contact they're able to just slide straight back into the unashamed banter they both prize themselves in being good at.

"See that right there. That is exactly why I've missed you Lopez"

"I've missed you too Puck… So how's life?"

"I'm kicking its ass! I mean, I may not have a trophy to show for it or whatever but it's all good. But I'm not even gonna bother asking you the same question, cos judging by your $500 suit, the Mercedes parked outside and the sudden preference for 'dry martini's', I'd say your swagger's bragging for itself right now!"

She throws up her hands and gives him a playfully arrogant smirk while secretly loving the fact that as he so eloquently put it –her swagger was bragging. But as she now has no need to brag, she quickly realizes her opportunity to gossip and the subject she finds herself most interested in at the moment was Finn.

"So quickly before he comes back… what the hell happened to Finn? I thought the two of you were off to Football College. How come I found him last night getting his ass kicked out of a bar and looking like some washed up drug-dealer?"

With a nod of no surprise and a heavy sigh to signal an epic tale, Puck began to divulge…

"Well, long story short we both got injuries sophomore year and decided to start an insanely awesome rock band instead. We're seriously good but you know, it takes time to build a reputation or whatever, so right now things are a little slow. But you best believe we are going all the way to the top baby! Right now I'm sweet cos I've started my pool cleaning business again to get me through the day but Finny boy just got fired from the bar he was working at cos about 6 months ago, Rachel dumped him and then he started drinking more than he was serving."

"Rachel dumped him? So up until 6 months ago they were still together?"

"Yup poor bastard. Imagine going through a whole year and a half of college and never tapping one single college chick just because you got a girlfriend in another state. I mean what a waste! And then he goes and gets kicked to the curb anyway! So now when we're inbetween rehersals or shows, he just spends his time moping around, drinking and looking for bar brawls. I hooked him up with my old fight-club, it's so funny you should see him when he-"

"-sshh he's coming back."

As Finn made his way back to their table, setting down her drink, wearing the same beaming smile he had maintained ever since she walked in the bar, everything Puck had just told her started to sink in. An injury had destroyed his football career, he was now jobless and a drunk whose long-term girlfriend had just broke up with him. And on top of that he had his foot run-over last night. Seeing how far he had fallen, she can't help but feel sorry for him – and she doesn't really know how to deal with this, seeing as sympathy is an emotion she rarely practices.

"So what're you guys talking about?" Finn asks unknowingly.

"Oh I was just telling fancy-lawyer-pants here how you dropped out of college, got dumped by Rachel for that rich Broadway guy and then got fired for drinking more than your wages at the bar."

Normally she'd find Puck's bluntness hilarious, but the fact that she didn't made her hate the sympathy-emotion even more.

"Oh excellent. I'm so sad I missed out on that!" he comments dryly.

He sits down looking slightly embarrassed but also kind of relieved that at least he doesn't have to explain it himself. There's a tense silence, in which he tries desperately to avoid her gaze, before Puck suddenly rises from the table and slams his now-empty beer bottle down after downing it in one go.

"Well this has been delightful but I gotta run cos I'm on baby duty tonight. But it's been awesome seeing you Lopez, I already got your number from this clown so I'll call you soon and we'll go out for real and get loose with the goose and all that! Later losers!"

And after giving Santana a sly wink and clapping an unprepared Finn so hard on the back he begins choking on his beer, the ever-carefree Puck saunters out the bar and away down the street.

"….Did he just say he's on baby duty?"

"Yup." Finn nodded while trying to mop up the spillage from his near-death choke. "His daughter, Anna. She's nearly 2 now. He got this girl Alicia pregnant in college- they're not together or anything now, but they share custody and he's actually a pretty good dad!"

She lets out a quick exhale of breath and sits back casually into her chair.

"You know, none of that actually surprises me at all."

Finn gives another nod of agreement and after a few seconds of awkward silence and bashful smiles, decides to break the ice again.

"So now that Puck's given you a wonderful insight into what I've been up to, what about you? You look like you're doing real well. You went to Chicago right?"

"Yup. Chicago Law School. Uh.. well I graduated top of my class and now I just got my first office in the firm I was interning at."

She doesn't mean to brag, but like Puck pointed out, it's difficult for her not to.

"Any boyfriends?"

His face turns blank after asking this question, as if he suddenly realized the direct and perhaps inappropriate nature she might find his asking. It was a genuinely innocent question but the fact that it could've seemed not so innocent made him worry about it seeming not so innocent to an ironic effect that it did in fact make it seem like he was asking in a not so innocent way.

"Nope."

Keeping his blank face he slyly changes his question.

"… girlfriends?"

She lightly laughs at the embarrassed look on his face from asking.

"Nice Sir Pervalot! No. I did some experimenting in college but Brittney's pretty much the only girl I've ever really been into…. I think all in all, I'm a batter for the straight team. But now I'm just focusing on my work. I don't want a boyfriend. I mean I have boys, I mean a girl's gotta eat right! But I am a free, independent workingwoman with power and ambition whose life does not revolve around some guy bringing me flowers every day. Berry would be proud!"

As her brain clocks her mistake she starts apologizing for bringing up the girl responsible for his current lonely state, but he's completely unfazed by it. Not that it seems that way to her.

"That's ok -she's not the crazy snake man from Hogwarts, you can say her name. I mean she and I are still friends and I'm completely over her, for good this time. And you know, she would be proud of you... She should be… You should be. And I should be… I am I mean. Proud… Of you."

She figures his blustering is due the accidental mention of Rachel, but in truth it was down to how in awe of Santana he was feeling at this moment. He takes another sip of his beer before pursuing the conversation.

"Wow, you know, out of all the people from McKinley I wouldn't have guessed you'd turn out to be one of the most successful. I mean, no offence!"

"None taken, back then I wouldn't have guessed it either…"

"Yeah, I mean you always used to slack off and just apathetically meddle in everyone else's business. But now you're like this really successful lawyer-woman. Sounds like you're doing amazing and you look amazing... I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen with you right now. I mean, I'm kind of a mess. No career, no job, no girlfriend. I don't even own a cell. I had to call you from a payphone earlier."

At first all she could focus on was how he used the word 'apathetically' correctly in an actual sentence (Berry's influence no doubt) but as another awkward silence sets upon them she takes note of how ashamed and down on himself he is. Comforting people always made her uncomfortable, so she proceeds by ignoring his sudden outburst of self-deprecation in favor of a more optimistic conversation.

"So you and Puck are in a band?"

"Yeah, we're called 'Slick Steel' and we're actually really good, it's just difficult getting people in the right places to notice you. But we're slowly getting a steady fan base, and our keyboard player, Andy, is hooking us up on the internet and everything, so things are looking up! We got a couple of shows lined up if you're interested?"

"Sure. I mean the band name is kind of bougie but it'll be fun to see you guys in action. I will heckle you with no mercy if you suck though!"

"Ha! Well that can't be worse than getting slushied like we did at McKinley!"

"So are you staying with Puck?"

His face falls again and she knows more, sad information's on the way.

"Kind of. He's got this small place rented up in Fairfield, and he lets me crash there from time to time, but when he has Anna or plans on bringing girls home it kinda becomes too cramped..."

"So where do you stay then?"

"Um.. well I'm kind of sleeping in my car at the moment. At least I was but I lost my keys last night so I gotta go find them or failing that gotta go find someone who knows how to break into a car! But it's only temporary, my mom and Burt are going to lend me some money for a new place so I can get myself back together again. I've just had a little bit of trouble and bad luck over the last couple of months. I'd go live back home with my mom and Burt, but, she sacrificed so much for me over the years and I don't want her to see me like this…"

Great. Now she was feeling even more sympathy for him. Damn she really hated this emotion. But this was ridiculous. His self-deprecation act was starting to irritate her, and her motto was to always avoid pathetic people incase it was contagious. But for some reason, she mostly just hated seeing him like this.

"You can stay with me… I'm advertising for a room mate."

"Thanks Santana, but I don't think I can afford anything in a lawyers budget right now. Thank you though."

"Well then you can just crash there until someone takes it up or you find a more suitable place. Come one Finn, you can't sleep in your car, you just can't it's gross! No offence. Actually no, I mean offence and I'm gonna give you some tough love right now. I get you've had it tough recently but you look like a fucking hobo. Well, I guess technically you are a hobo but you shouldn't be! You need to sober up, get a haircut, a shave, a bath and a decent set of clothes, get a job and get back to the old Finn Hudson I used to know. Because he had a lot to offer the world and while he used to be adorably happy all the time to a sickening level, the Finn I see before me now is just way too sad. Stop the drinking, stop the bar-fights, stop the whining and come stay on my couch while you get your act together because 6 months of moping after Berry is so unbelievably high-school and you are an adult now who needs put his toys back in his pram and pull his finger out of his ass!"

...There's a stunned silence while they both take in her outburst. She hasn't snapped like that in years, but he asked for it. He needed that. And he knows it too. She half expects him to run away in tears but he just sits there, with a stupid, confused look on his face… which slowly breaks out into a grin.

"Wow. I can see why you graduated top of your class... You're an awesome attorney aren't you!"


	3. New Introductions

On the car ride back to her place they pretty much cover every ground of conversation possible within a twenty-minute journey. She learns that apart from Rachel and Puck, Finn has been able to keep in touch with Sam and Quinn who are now happily engaged and living over in Indianapolis, Mercedes who's working at a big record label in California, singing demo's and helping various acts out on tour, Mike and Tina who're over in New York pursuing the performing arts with Rachel, and Kurt who's currently touring Europe with his new fashion line. Puck has stayed in touch with Lauren and Santana has stayed in close contact with Brittney who's now on tour with none other than Britney Spears, and Britt's stayed in touch with Artie over at MIT, so between them the whole glee club has managed to all stay connected in some way or another.

They also talked in more depth about her job and her time at college while Finn ran her through the track listing for 'Slick Steel's ' upcoming album and while on any other occasion she would brutally slay song titles such as 'Wonder Woman Warlock' and 'Goats In Trees Follow Me', he just got so excited yapping away about them that she couldn't bring herself to it. He was just explaining the plot line of 'Goats In Trees Follow Me' when she pulled up to her allocated parking space at the base of her apartment.

"Wow." If he's this impressed by the outside of the building she can't wait to see his reaction to the inside of her apartment (not that she's bragging!)

"I know right. We're definitely not in Kansas anymore!"

"Kansas? I thought that bar was still in Cincinnati!"

"What? No it was. I was just… you know, from 'The Wizard of Oz'?... You've never seen 'The Wizard of Oz'?"

He's so confused he's prevented him from being able to undo his seat belt correctly.

"Um I don't know, maybe? Is that the one with the closet and the horse-man?"

"No that's 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe'. Wow. I'd have thought 7 years of being whipped by Rachel Berry, you'd have seen those movies 1000 times already." She jokes getting out the car, while a perplexed Finn just about manages to finally unlock his seat belt successfully after a seventh pathetic attempt.

"Probably. But I learned how to sleep with my eyes open, so most movie nights I would just sort of zone out until she was ready to make-out."

"Ew. Well if there's one thing you should know about me Hudson it's that I am a huge movie buff so every night is basically movie night and I won't tolerate any zoning out from you… or making out!"

"Fair enough!" he chuckles as he follows her into the reception of the building. "And I already knew that about you."

"No you did not."

"Yes I did. Well I kind of figured. I mean, no one gets that witty without a little bit of inspiration and I never pictured you as the reading type so I always thought you were probably a closeted movie geek."

She's taken aback by this. At what point did Finn Hudson try to figure her out in high school?

"Well you're wrong. First of all I am not a movie geek I am a movie buff, and secondly,…. i… do actually read. A lot. So I guess you never really knew me at all!"

"Of course I didn't. No one did. Except maybe Brittney… You were always like one of those picture mazes what are they called… optical illusions! You know, the things that are impossible to work out and then for a second if you look hard enough you see the real picture underneath and then as soon as you blink it turns back to the fuzzy blurry picture you had at the start…"

She gives him a look that sort of says 'what the fuck?' in both a confused and angry tone but the sight just makes him snigger in a knowing way.

"Come on you gotta admit you had your guards up 24/7 throughout high school. And you were a bitch."

"And you were a hypocritical and naïve doofus who walked around like a fucking love-sick puppy 24/7!"

"Woah... Okay I guess the defensive bitchiness carried on after high school then."

"Well the defensive bitch you speak of is offering you her couch for the night so I'd practically be acting as her friggin slave right now if I were you!"

"Okay how about this. We start from scratch. I mean you just started a new job right, I'm just about to start turning my life around for the better so.. let's just forget about however we used to know each other in high school and get to know the people we're trying to be in this new era of our lives."

She stares blankly at him, hoping that he's joking – which she soon realizes he's not. What a cheeseball. But it's less effort to humour him…

"Okay. Deal. Let's hope this new you is better than the pastry bag you used to be- okay starting from now."

"Hi, I'm Finn Hudson."

He holds out his hand and now it take a lot of effort not to mock him.

"Santana Lopez. You know it's funny. I once knew a Finn Hudson back from my high school days and I seem to remember taking his virginity… I say 'seem' to remember because to be honest it wasn't a very memorable experience, in fact it was pretty bad, I feel sorry for any girl who- no I'm just kidding!" She grabs him back as he turns to make his way back into the elevator they just got out of. "Sort of… I'm kidding. Okay starting again look see… starting now. Hi, I'm Santana Lopez." She gesture in a lightly patronizing tone while opening her front door. "Come on through to the apartment and take a seat because you must be tired from hobbling along on crutches all day you poor thing. By the way Finn was it?... you're holding the crutches the wrong way around."

"Oh. That's probably why my elbows have been killing me so much!"


	4. Thinking About Things

She wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of an almighty thump, presumably from Finn rolling off the couch into a heap on the floor. She doesn't bother to get up to check if he's all right, and when she hears him mutter a few curse words she just prays her living room furnishings are still all in one piece. It was stupid letting him sleep on the couch. He was far too long and his fractured foot had to be left hanging off the armrest but he insisted on taking the couch instead of the spare bedroom. Thinking about it all, she realizes it's all stupid and wonders why she ever suggested him staying in the first place. They'd stayed up fairly late reminiscing over their glee club days and exchanging small talk as a way of getting to know each other again and she had found that perfectly comfortable as, despite their deal of starting over as new people, neither of them had really changed at all from when they used to be friends. Except that maybe he had become a little more wiser and confident through life-experience and she was slightly more open and patient than she was in her teenage years...

But now she was alone with her thoughts and the situation started to sink in, so too did irrational doubt and panic. Lying in regret she begins to become paranoid about all the worst-case scenarios that could come from him crashing with her for a while. They all seem to involve him never leaving and turning into a disgusting hermit freak who goes crazy from his own hermitness, ultimately deciding to kill her in her sleep. She turns over and sets her alarm to an earlier time to allow her to get the local paper before work as step one of her quickly forming plan to get him out of the apartment and into his own place where he can turn into a hermit freak without bothering her. He snores in his sleep. And she relaxes with the knowledge that if anything, it'll be her that goes crazy first and end up killing him.

* * *

><p>She beats the alarm clock awake and wearily gets out of bed, dreading the awkwardness she's certain will ensue when she leaves the bedroom. Luckily for her he's still fast asleep, and so she's able to sneak out for her morning jog in peace. Her return is not so peaceful however, as she's greeted at the door by the sight of the now awake but shirtless Finn cooking a full-English breakfast. Once again he's beaming from ear to ear and she's starting to worry if he has some kind of uncontrollable goofy grin syndrome but she's too distracted by the sight and smell in front of her to deliver a sarcastic comment about it.<p>

"A-ha perfect timing! I made you breakfast. I mean it's the least I can do. I know, it's all food from your fridge, and your cooking utensils and appliances and everything, but it's still a small token of my gratitude."

"Since when do you cook?"

"I don't. This is the only thing I can do. Well this, grilled cheese sandwiches and cereal. Speaking of which, why do you only have the boring brands? I mean seriously. Where's all the 'fruity pebbles' and the 'lucky charms' or even the 'fruity loops'?"

"They're back in the pantry I ate out of when I was 5!"

"No don't even try and mock the awesomness of delicious rice-toasted crispy breakfast treats!"

"Oh my god you're such a dork."

"A dork who made you breakfast!"

"And that is the only reason I'm not handing you back to the village who left a message last night asking for their idiot back."

She's too intoxicated by the smell to decline the meal or even take a shower first, so she decides to risk it, sitting down to mindlessly devour the feast he's prepared. She makes a sarcastic joke about food poisoning but he can tell by her spotless plate that she enjoyed every second of her breakfast.

* * *

><p>Eventually she makes her way to the shower after opening the paper to the apartment listings and instructing him to clear up the mess he'd made (-what he needs tough love and house-training!). As the beads of water begin attacking her skin her mind starts to wander and before she realizes it she's replaying the breakfast scene in her head, only this time she's distracted by the sight of his ever-impish grin and shirtlessness of his torso. She was right, he had definitely filled out since high school and he had the tone definition to match. He had the build of a rugged athlete, rather then some vain pretty-gym boy and the hotness was added to with the dark but fading bruises patching over his ribs and broad back. She can't figure why the torso bruises are a turn-on considering the bruises on his face were definitely a turn-<em>off<em>. All she knows is that Finn Hudson turned out hot, and once again she's powerless to a little smirk that her lips are all too familiar with positioning themselves into.

That's when she realizes she's thinking about him.

And that's when she's grateful the hot water turns cold as Finn starts using the kitchen sink to clean up the dishes.


	5. Roommates

He cooks her breakfast every morning for the next week. Luckily for her she's always had a metabolism to die for but after her sixth fried breakfast in a row she's no choice but to head to the supermarket and purchase every child-appropriate brand of cereal available in an effort to distract him from his morning chef habit. It works pretty well, and she doesn't think she'll ever forget the level of excitement that burst from him as he helped her unpack the groceries that day. It was just hilarious.

All in all, Finn turns out to be a pretty good couch-crasher. Sure the couch is now permanently dressed as a bed, there are always kangaroo-sized socks lying about in strange places (one time she found one draping from the ceiling fan) and she has to stock the fridge with a lot more beer than usual as they mysteriously disappear in the day time, but Finn's contributions generally outweigh his nuisances and it turns out he's not the worst company in the world so she's happy to let him stay. She'd never had any pets growing up but she likened having Finn around to coming home to a puppy every afternoon. He was somehow always able to cheer her up after stressful days at work and he remained passive and docile around her, so she never felt smothered or irritated by his ever-presence.

Eventually she convinces (forces) him to start sleeping in the spare bedroom instead of the couch and they agree that he can stop worrying about finding a job/his own place until his foot's healed properly. Even with a thicker wall and an extra door between them she can still hear him in the night. He snores like clockwork. But she starts finding it weirdly comforting...

* * *

><p>Three weeks soon fly-by and it surprises her how little she's been tempted to throw him out.<p>

His consistently shirtless breakfast appearances probably contribute a lot towards her tolerance level.

She still smirks in the shower.

But she gets revenge by unashamedly strutting between the bathroom and her bedroom every morning in nothing but a towel, her hair and bronze skin still wet and shining from the water.

His mouth drops every time and hers just breaks into an even bigger smirk...

* * *

><p>He goes out with Puck every Friday. Presumably spending money he doesn't have to get drunk and chat up women. She thinks it's stupid given his condition. But she's not his mother or his girlfriend so what does she care! She doesn't say anything…<p>

Just like she doesn't say anything every time she falls asleep on the couch from working late but mysteriously wakes up in her own bed in the morning. She knows it's him somehow hobbling her between resting places.. but what does she care...

* * *

><p>It's her first official court case on Monday and she spends the entire weekend freaking out. It's Saturday night and Finn returns home at 3 in the morning after a lousy (drummer with fractured foot = lousy) and tiring gig at a crummy bar downtown to find her fully awake, still mulling back and forth over her closing speech. He's shattered and wants nothing more than to crawl into bed but after seeing the stressed state she's in he just offers her a beer, sits down and lets her vent and recite the thing to him over and over again until she's finally content.<p>

When the court-day arrives and she nails it, winning the case, she comes home to a congratulatory banner and a glass of cheap champagne, and a bear hug from a never-doubting Finn.

* * *

><p>She has a sex dream about him.<p>

It's one of those dreams where the scenario makes no sense and it's a crazy mash up of random events and people but she can feel the emotions and he adrenaline as if it was completely real. It takes her a while to shake it off in the morning and her embarrassment soon turns into irrational anger. He's harmlessly sat on the couch enjoying his morning dose of cartoons when all of a sudden she starts yelling at him about nothing and storms out the apartment. The poor boy's clueless, but hasn't watched the 'Spectacular Spiderman' since...

She feels bad the next day so she returns home from shopping with a new PlayStation. She needed a new Blu-ray player anyway so it's not as if she bought it for him…

He's trying to teach her how to play the latest COD game and it's a disaster but after the first couple of hours she gets scarily into it. She bolts out of her seat every time she gets shot and then curses wildly and exotically until she gets her revenge, so he doesn't know whether to find her cute, scary or plain hot.

One round she somehow comes first on the scoreboard and in her excitement tackles him across the couch, her arms wrapped tightly over his broad shoulders. She's too excited to notice the bashful look stuck on his face as she returns back to seating position grinning ecstatically and goes back to playing the game with no awareness of what just happened.

A few rounds later he plucks up the courage to ask her a question.

"Do you like having me around?"

She's too engrossed in the game to notice the subtle weight in his question, and answers in jest.

"Yeah. You're the perfect little house-pet!"

His face falls slightly and now she notices. She thinks about taking it back and answering in truth but then she thinks about what the truth is and decides it's better to carry on the game in silence. He doesn't deserve to know...

* * *

><p>It's been the shittiest day. She made a mistake filing some paperwork and her boss decided to hand her ass to her publicly in a big meeting traffic made her late for this morning. Her punishment was an extra workload that required overtime, so when she finally gets away from the office she's shattered and royally pissed off. When she then arrives home to her furniture rearranged slightly to accommodate for a trashy looking drum set and a drummer with his left leg propped highly on an expensive coffee table sitting in the wrong place, she reaches breaking point.<p>

"Um, Finn? Hi, first of all very cool drum kit, second of all get it the fuck out of here!"

"Okay, yeah I thought you might be mad. But Puck had to clear space for Anna-stuff and I can't just store them in my car cos I need to practice, so I thought we could make a deal? I promise I won't play them when you're here cos I know that wouldn't be fair to your work and I've got these damper pads so the neighbors shouldn't complain about noise-"

"-Um no. The neighbors will most definatly complain because I could hear you from the bottom floor-"

"Yeah I forgot to put the pads on just now-"

"-And even if they weren't the loudest instrument known to mankind, they take up the entire living room and mess the whole thing up so just get them out!"

"They don't take up that much space! I can make them more compact when I'm not playing and like tuck them into a corner..."

"Yes but they'll still be here. Visible. And I can't have people seeing my living room with clutter everywhere!"

"No one will care. They'll think it's cool! Plus I mean, it's not like you have anyone over anyway…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. It's just, well, come on you had one person over since I moved in. You always go _out_ with your friends and you've never had any guys over or anything…"

Breaking point exploded.

"Well excuse me for having a working life! Yeah, that's right I _work_ Finn. I have a job to do and responsibility and work to bring home and complete in the evenings. I can't just sit around all day and throw loads of parties every night-"

"-I didn't mean-"

"-And for your information, I could have any guy I wanted at any time. I could bring a different guy home every night if I wanted but I don't because I have a life that doesn't revolve around pathetic boys like you! And speaking of you, it's not like you've had a long line of girls knocking on the door! But then I don't suppose many girls are attracted to boozy, mooching bums who sit on their ass all day wacking boxes with sticks. So unless you'd prefer moving back into your shitty car, get those goddamn drums out of my apartment!"

"Fine. But you know what, you don't have to be so mean about it! This isn't high school, look around, there's no one hear to applaud you for yelling abuse at me. I didn't mean anything by it and you know it. Geez there's no need to be so uptight!"

"Oh wow was that your attempt at growing balls? Cos I am impressed. In fact I'm so impressed, why don't you leave the drums there so I can shove them up your ass inst-"

"-Surprise!"

The high blood-pressured pair turn their attention to the front door that has just sprung open, interrupting their fight, as an overjoyed, luggage-cladded Brittney S. Pierce is stood arms-wide in the doorway, blissfully ignorant of the world war 3 that had just begun inside...


	6. A Blonde's Theory

She wakes up in the morning feeling shattered. Despite the work and Finn related stress, she decided to stay up all night talking to Brittney having an exciting catch-up with her best friend. It's not going to be a good day at the office but she doesn't care because at the end of it she'll be coming home to Britt, who was going to stay in the spare room for the next few days now that her epic tour with Britney Spears had finished and she had time until she had to leave to tour with Rihanna. This of course meant that Finn had been bumped back to the couch but she felt no remorse, given the unfinished argument they'd had last night. When she peeps out her room hoping he's still asleep, she gets an even better deal when she sees he's not even there. And neither are the drums. The rest of his stuff is, so it's clear he's coming back so she figures this is more or less a complete victory.

Her day at work is once again stressful and time seems to drag but as soon as she's off the clock she's rushing home, praying that the combination of Finn and Brittney in her apartment hasn't resulted in it being exploded, burnt down or opened as a 'bed n breakfast' to every living creature in the south of Ohio. Luckily to her pleasant surprise, the apartment's in better condition than ever and she's greeted at the door by the two grinning buffoons (which would have been creepy if she had not been used to Finn greeting her like this every day for the last month) and the smell of freshly-cooked pizza.

"Hey guys what's going on?... "

"Welcome home!" Brittney yells excitedly, her hands thrown wildly in the air.

"Ok… you do realize I was only gone for like 9 hours right. It's not like I've been to China and back… what's all this?"

"Well, Finn was telling me how stressed you've been with work recently so we thought we'd do something nice for you to take the pressure off, so we cleaned the whole place from head to foot and made you dinner! Well, we were gonna make you dinner and then we realized neither of us knows how to cook anything other than breakfast or salad…"

Finn piped in "Yeh so then we decided to order your favourite take-out but neither of us understood the sushi menu so we got pizza instead!"

"Yup. Oh and those flowers were Finn's idea. The card's from me." Brittney added with a proud gesture towards the hand-drawn card that couldn't have been more obviously from the blonde if she had tried, because it was more or less a giant piece of paper with a crayon drawing of Santana with the words 'I love you, from Brittney' scrawled around it. She'd never really been one for flowers because in her book flowers meant 'I'm sorry' or 'I'm giving you these in return for sex', but given the over joyous and innocent looks Finn and Britt were giving her it's hard not to appreciate them.

"And then we thought after dinner Britt could show us pictures from the Britney tour and then we could all watch a movie!"

This is all so weird, over the top and unnecessary and she has so much work to do, but the two dopes have put so much effort into it she doesn't want to ruin the kids' day by being the boring grown-up.

"As long as it's not a Britney Spears movie. I'm all in!"

* * *

><p>After the pizza and the 2 hour-long slide show of Brittney's concert adventures (which consisted mainly of pictures of Brittney's finger covering the lens and the backs of people's heads) it was time for the movie.<p>

"So what movie shall we watch?" Finn asks casually.

"Oh how about 'Moulin Rouge'? We used to watch it all the time didn't we Britt!" Santana eagerly suggests.

"No we watched that the other night!" objects Finn

"Yeah and you fell asleep!" she retorts

"Yeah for about 2 minutes before you threw the DVD box at me!"

"You know you're not allowed to fall asleep when it's my choice of film!"

"It's always your choice of film!"

"That's cos it's my TV and your films suck!"

"If you just gave the sequel a chance-"

"-I am not going to waste 2 hours of my life on 'Gremlins 2' when the first one was bad enough. If I wanted to see a bunch of little ugly freaks acting stupid, I'd hang out with your band's fan base at one of your shows!"

"Oh, because 'The Devil Wears Prada' was so much more life fulfilling!.. And hey!"

"I gave you a choice and you picked that one…"

"Only because I thought you said it was called the 'The Devil Wears Nada' "

"Oh, of course you got excited about seeing some freaky porn film about a naked devil, Pervie Mcgee! "

"Yeah well based on the title I thought it might be your film biography!"

"Well if it had been it would have been about how a hot, foolish woman tries to help a poor, jobless cripple by taking him in off the street, but ends up butchering him in his sleep because of his bad taste in film, inability to have an intellectual conversation and habit of getting jam all over himself and the furniture everyday!"

"Well I bet the last emotion that ran through him was relief of being free from her and getting peace and quiet for a change. And I've only spilt jam twice!"

"You have some on your shirt right now!"

"Oh….."

A long silence signals the end of the banter until a baffled Brittney, who was looking lost between the arguing couple, eventually breaks it.

"….Can we watch The Little Mermaid? The soundtrack is amazing."

Both Finn and Santana react with the same affectionate sighs and chuckles at the ever-endearing Brittney, and the built up tension from their bickering disperses at once.

"I'll get the pop-corn!" she offers with a grin.

"I'll get the drinks" he responds with a grin to match.

They both head to the kitchen and while she raids the cupboards for some popcorn, Finn turns himself into a human pocket trying to fit as many beers on his person as humanly possible before blocking the pathway to the living room trying to find a bottle opener.

"Move your butt jam-boy!" she orders playfully, giving him a gentle bump with her hips.

"After you lady-demon…" he retorts and as she passes she thinks the impish smirk he has on his lips is way cuter than she probably should.

* * *

><p>He falls asleep during the movie. She's never seen Brittney so offended so she decides to punish him by drawing an oversized penis on his cast in permanent marker. Luckily for him Brittney thinks she's half-finished with drawing a bunny and completes the task while adding a scene of flowers and rainbows to the background...<p>

* * *

><p>She doesn't have to go into work the next day but she has a tone of paper work that takes priority over everything so she's still working. It's not an easy thing to do with Brittney fluttering around the place, distracting her with random questions and conversations and playing with every toygame in the apartment. And Finn's at a doctors appointment so it's not like he can take Brittney out to the park or something. Her discipline and resolve to keep working finally come undone however when Britt attempts to play call of duty and Santana (who's now a level 41) just has to join in.

It takes her the best part of an hour to explain the game (-Brittney refused to shoot anyone without knowing the whole backstory to what they did wrong and explaining the politics of war and terrorism to Brittney was like trying to teach a sheep Cantonese) but eventually they settle into it, and while Santana's busy obtaining the highest kill-streak, Brittney has something else on her mind…

"So what's going on with you and Finn?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well I mean, you guys are like, totally married"

"What?"

"You share chores, you know each other's schedules, you eat his food when he's not looking, you argue all the time… totally married."

"Ok we are not married. We're temporarily living together so of course we're gonna share chores and know each other's schedules... And I eat other peoples' food all the time. Where do you think your bag of chips just went?"

"I thought you had a raccoon. Or a ghost... But you're always looking at each other like they do in Disney movies. Except in the morning when neither of you are fully dressed. Then you look at each other as if you're in a sex movie."

"Ok no no no no no. I'm sure you've caught Finn perving over me from time to time and who can blame him, but I have not been looking at him in any ways other than condescending and pity."

"I'm not stupid. Well I am cos I don't really know what those last words mean but two subjects I'm super intelligent about are you and care-bear trivia. You don't have to lie to me."

She was right. She's never had to lie to Brittney. So she took a minute to think it over before giving her best friend a sincere answer.

"Ok look, that was a joke. I like Finn. He's sweet and he makes me laugh but we're just two friends, one of who is helping the inferior one out. Sometimes in the mornings when my brain has yet to wake up I subconsciously stare at his abs but we're not married, we're not in a Disney film and we're not in a sex movie."

"Oh that's a shame. Cos you two would make a super hot couple!"

"Uck. Been there, done that in high school and got nothing out of it. I shuffle and don't repeat remember?"

"Yeah but that was like 5 years ago. You're both different now."

At this point, Finn bursts through the door offering the ironic comment of the century.

"Hey! Notice anything different?"

He's talking about the smaller foamy-looking boot he's got as a replacement for his plaster cast, and Santana smiles to herself about his timing while Brittney begins looking him up and down for the answer.

"So I spoke to Puck and he thinks we should go out and celebrate. The four of us! I mean it's your night off right so let's live it up a little!"

Brittney immediately gets up and starts cheering in excitement however Santana remains hesitant…

"You three go, but I can't. I've really got to get on with these papers-"

"-no you don't!" Finn interjected, "Come on San, you work your butt to the bone everyday and it's like your only night off. Take a break you deserve it! Come on, it won't be the same without you and Puck's buying the first round so… please?"

He was giving her puppy dog eyes… the bastard.

"Fine. But only because I deserve it – don't go all smug, thinking you can twist me around your finger… and Puck's buying the first three rounds!"


	7. A Puckhead's Theory

After fixing her hair, make-up, nails and changing into this low-cut, sequined dark purple dress that shows her ass off perfectly, she was ready to go. She'd been wearing fancy lawyer suits for so long she'd forgotten how awesome it was to look fiercely unrespectable. Finn's in the living room showing Brittney all the different maneuvers he can now pull off without his crutches, until Santana emerges from her bedroom and he quickly freezes.

"Wow. You look…"

She raises her eyebrows in anticipation of the pending compliment but it proves exceedingly hard for him as he continues looking her up and down in awe.

It was cute and flattering for a while but dude was now bordering on perverted ogler.

"Are you going to finish that sentence or has your brain broken down again!"

"Conquer all elite!" Brittney chirped making Santana extremely confused.

"What?"

"That's what people say when computers break down and they need encouraging to work again…"

"No, they say control, alt, delete because those are the buttons you press to fix them."

"Oh…"

And while Britt begins contemplating how this new information will affect her life, Finn finally awakens from Santana's spell and finishes his compliment with genuine chivalry.

"Stunning. You look stunning."

She doesn't think she looked stunning. Hot, sexy, bangable – those were the adjectives she was used to hearing. This was new territory for her and it almost made her blush.

"Thank you." she responds with humility before grabbing her purse, clearing her throat which was suddenly dry and breaking the silence before it has a chance to get tense. "Well, let's go paint the town red!"

"With what?" askes a puzzled Brittney. "I have red lipstick. But I don't know if it's enough for the town?"

"Just go Britt." She urges pushing the blonde towards the door, putting her perfect ass to use on the way out, as she's sure Finn's still staring.

* * *

><p>After meeting up with Puck the foursome head to a quite bar for a few quiet drinks while he and Britt catch up. While three of the four share their accolades and memories of the past 4 years, Finn adds nothing to the table but empty bottles from the drinks he's knocking back, and it seemed Santana was the only one to notice.<p>

* * *

><p>The group then moves onto a club and it doesn't take long for the alcohol to begin taking over, although it would probably take the rest of the night to even begin catching up with Finn. After scaring a group of girls with his attempt at club dancing, he stumbles back to the bar in heightened spirits. There are a couple of hot guys making eyes at Santana but she ignores them and heads for Finn.<p>

"I think you've had enough!" It's hard to hear her over the music.

"What?"

"I said I think you've had enough. Alcohol!"

"Nah don't worry about it, I feel fine. I'm barely even drunked. I am however, not sober enough to not dance. Come on!"

"You can't dance. You've only got one leg and you're bad enough with two!"

Her resistance is futile however as he grabs her hand and begins dragging her through the crowds and onto the dance-floor. He's the worst dancer in the whole club. But while she'd usually be too embarrassed to stand near him for more than 3 seconds, she's too tipsy to not find the way he starts twirling her around completely hilarious.

"You have the cutest laugh!" he almost yells into her ear.

"What?"

"Your laugh. It's cute. I like it. You should laugh more often."

"Maybe I should give up being a lawyer and become a clown or something then."

"No not a clown. I hate clowns.. Maybe I'll just quit being a drummer and make it my job to make you laugh all the time."

They're dangerously close until he loses his balance and is forced back a step. She starts laughing again, until one of the guys staring at her earlier comes over and begins grinding up behind her. She turns to push him away but the creep just puts his hands on her ass trying to pull her in again. That's when Finn steps in and grabs the guy by the throat in a fit of pure rage.

"Finn don't!"

People surrounding them react quickly and pull the two apart before Finn's able to throw the punch he's so obviously desperate to. As the other guy's ushered away by strangers, she grabs Finn by his arm, pulling him away from the dance-floor.

"Finn, come on."

She drags him outside to the smoking area and sits him down on an empty chair. But he immediately stands back up again preferring to pace/hobble around it.

"You didn't deserve that! That fucker-"

He's shaking and his breathing's a little erratic. She knows how drunk he is and normally she'd take offense at any guy thinking she needed protecting but seeing him all heated up and brooding just makes her think how fucking hot he is right now. She can't deny to herself how much she wants to shove him against the wall and feel his anger and energy exude over her by crashing her lips over his. She wants to pull him close by gripping the back of his scruffy hair and to feel his raging hands move vigorously all over her body. She almost shudders with the urge and is about to take a step towards him when Puck bursts through the door with a wasted Brittney slumped across his shoulder.

"There you are. Dude let's go. There's a guy in there with some big buddies looking for you. There's cabs' waiting outside."

"No, let them find me I don't care, did you see what the prick did to Santana?"

"Fucks sake. Santana are you ok?" she nodded "Yeah? Good. Can you take this for me?" he asked handing Brittney over to her without waiting for an answer. "Move your ass!" he orders, shoving Finn towards the exit.

* * *

><p>Finn passes out in the passenger seat of the cab on the ride home. Brittney's also peacefully sleeping in the middle in the back, using Puck and Santana as alternate pillows.<p>

"Looks like I'll be leaving a bucket by my couch tonight." Santana piped up at Puck, nodding towards Finn.

"I wouldn't bother. Guarantee the son of a bitch will sleep straight through the night and wake up fresh as a daisy with no hangover or nothing. The perfect alcoholic don't ya think."

"Is he? An alcoholic. I keep finding empty bottles in the trash. No idea where they come from…"

"No he's not an alcoholic…. It's just a phase."

"It's getting worse though isn't it. Maybe you should talk to him."

"Nah talking does no good. I've been talking to him since we dropped out of Boston. He doesn't listen." The lack of optimism in his tone begins to scare her a little. "Woah. What was that look?"

"What look?"

"That look! The serious pout, turning your head looking concerned into the distance look? …Why the look Lopez? Are you hooking up with him?"

"Shut up that wasn't a look! I was just thinking it would be really shitty for me if the guy sleeping on my couch was an alcoholic."

"Why? Because then he might have trouble getting it up and giving it to you every night?"

She'd punch him if she could but the blonde slumped across her shoulder has her limbs trapped. Why did everyone have a conspiracy theory of them hooking up!

Puck just smiles smugly before turning to the window to have his own moment of looking concerned into the distance.

"He's not an alcoholic... I won't let him become that."

* * *

><p>The cab arrives at her apartment first but Puck sticks around to help carry Brittney into bed and drag Finn onto the couch before saying his goodbyes to Santana and getting a cab home. She stays up for a little while longer, drinking as much water as possible in preparation for tomorrow's impending hangover.<p>

She's staring at Finn who's looking like he's in pain already, even though he's completely passed out on the couch. She starts to think about Brittney and Puck's conspiracy theories…

She doesn't like Finn.

She can't like Finn.

First of all he was a mess. Second of all she didn't need anyone and third of all if she did she could do so much better than the guy who was dribbling on her couch.

So then what was tonight about?

Shit. She totally has a crush on Finn Hudson.

She starts pacing the room in confusion and despair. Yes despair.

But looking at him all calm and peaceful on the couch, despair turns to adoration, which turns into excitement and butterflies before turning quickly back to confusion and eventually settling into anger. Which she directs at her unaware anger-source.

"It's not gonna happen. I'm not going to have sex with you ok! Just because I like having you around, and find your stupid, dorkiness weirdly endearing and just because I had a sex dream-two sex- four sex dreams about you, it doesn't mean we're going to have sex, and fall in love and ride off into the sunset just because those two idiots think so. It won't happen… Doesn't work like that. And by the by, falling in love is just stupid anyway. It's like falling off a cliff. Sure I bet it's fun at first, you know, flying through the air, defying gravity etc. but essentially you're just falling at 800mph to your death. And if you fall, you splatter. So don't even think for two seconds that any falling will happen here because you are not worth being splattered on the pavement. Goodnight."

And with that she storms off into her bedroom, unaware that Finn had begun to stir...


	8. Moving On Moving Back

A couple more weeks pass by and she does her best to deny her sudden crush-epiphany, but it's not easy. Britt's gone away to tour again so it's just the two of them. His foot's pretty much healed so as promised she reverts to handing him the apartment and job listings every morning (although the hints are flying more ruthlessly now she's desperate to get him out of sight and out of mind).

She keeps occupied at work and encourages him to go out with Puck as often as possible, although every time he returns home drunk (and it is every time) she hates herself a little more each time for being selfish….

She even goes on a couple of dates with this guy from work. Finn bombards her with questions about him and the kicked puppy face he has when she leaves makes her wonder if he's jealous. Screw that she _knows_ he's jealous. But she figures he's just on the same wavelength as Britt and Puck, expecting them to hook up because of their current living situation. She becomes paranoid about it. Every time he compliments her or offers to help her with something or she catches him staring she thinks he's after sex. It's not that he's preying on her, harassing her or even really flirting with her, she just assumes he's being nice because he fancies getting into her pants….. Just like every other guy who's ever been nice to her.

She's on her fifth date with her colleague, Patrick.

Things are going well. He's super good-looking, well dressed, cool, confident and they totally have the same sordid sense of humor. He's walking her home and saying and doing all the right things you'd expect on a perfect date. But all she can think about is how if he were Finn he'd have tripped over the side walk by now, or randomly burst into song or made some stupid comment about how bright the sky was tonight, making up some strange constellation to impress her that she knew was bullshit but she's humor anyway, and he'd probably have jam down his shirt even though he had steak for dinner.

She breaks things off with Patrick. And she signs Finn up with a job agency.

* * *

><p>He gets a job working at a pet-store. She fails in trying to contain her disgust but he doesn't care because he thinks he's hit the jackpot.<p>

"I'm gonna be making money looking after hamsters all day!"

"Yeah, if you don't end up squishing them with your giant, giant hand paws."

He looks genuinely disturbed and concerned about this.

"Well, my hands are smaller than the bunny rabbits so I'll just work with them."

His voice does this husky squeak as he says 'bunny' and he's lucky that blind stroke of sexy-luck counters the 'camp' use of the word because otherwise she would have slayed him.

"Just don't even think about bringing any of them back with you… or any of their smells!"

"Well, actually there's a second part to the good news. I've found an apartment. It's a small place a few blocks from here but my mom's already loaned me the cash for the down payment and the first few months of rent so I'll be able to move out at the end of next week. I'll be out of your hair for good."

Success. Right? Her stomach does this funny jolt as she takes in the last part of his speech. But before she has time to figure out what she's feeling he hits her with the third part of good news.

"Oh and the third part of good news… we've just booked a gig this Saturday up in Findlay which is just past Lima and a manager from this independent label is coming to scout us! We figured we'd make a weekend of it, visit our families, take a trip down memory lane and all that. You gotta come! It's going to be epic!"

She's kind of overwhelmed by it all and responds without really thinking.

"Sure. I mean I can't do the whole weekend cos I have to work but I guess I could come down on the Saturday. Although my folks don't live in Lima anymore so I'll just come home straight after."

"No, don't do that it's like a 3 hour drive and the gig's gonna finish pretty late. You can stay with me. My mom and Burt will be in Europe visiting Kurt so there are plenty of bedrooms going spare!"

"Okay. I suppose I better show up to one of your concerts just incase you're actually as good as you say. But remember what I said about heckling. I've got a set of lungs that can take the volume level of a live band so I will overpower your suckiness if you suck."

"Awesome!"

* * *

><p>He heads up to Lima mid-week to catch Burt and Carole before they leave for Europe and for a while she actually enjoys having the apartment back to herself. She can watch her movies uninterrupted, go out to work and come back to a still-full pack of Corona, get her work done without being asked stupid questions such as who she thinks would win in a fight between Ronald McDonald and Colonel Saunders and she can walk around naked again cos she's a BAMF like that. But by Friday she's showing withdrawal symptoms from not having anyone to mock for 3 days, so she gets her work finished early and drives up to Lima to meet the guys.<p>

It's weird being back. Seeing the familiar streets and buildings….it feels like a whole other lifetime. She's not sure whether she's enjoying the sentiments or not but Finn sure loves it. As night begins to fall Puck decides they should pay McKinley a visit as the icing on the cake for their memory lane tour. Neither Finn nor Santana think this is a great idea but they go along anyway because nobody holds a chicken grudge like Puck.

The school gates are closed so they have to jump over. Santana goes first with a ninja-style effort that leaves both boys in awe and is followed by an experienced Puck and last and least an awkward Finn who rips the bottom of his pants in an effort he's thankful neither fellow trespasser witnessed.

The threesome skulk across their old football field and as Puck strides ahead to go and see if the dead squid he left in the vent above Principal Figgins' office is still there, Santana can't help but notice the solemn look on Finn's face looking upon his surroundings.

"Do you miss playing?" she asks him tentatively.

"Everyday." He answers with a forced smile.

"Who knows, maybe it was fate intervening to tell you your destiny lies in music not football..."

There's a weird look in his eye that tells her he knows something she doesn't and with feigned optimism he responds:

"Yeah maybe…"

The entrance to the school hall is wide open from Puck's minute-earlier entry and the two of them continue walking in silence as they head instinctively for the choir room. The room hasn't changed one single bit since they last used it and their faces break out into identical smiles as they begin to reminisce.

They're sitting on the benches taking it all in. They've been quiet for a few minutes and she's looking at his pensive face wondering if he's thinking about Rachel right now when the pensiveness twitches into sudden nervousness as he pulls something out of his jacket pocket.

"Oh here I got you something. It's a charm bracelet. I remember you used to wear one all the time back here but noticed you don't have one anymore so.. yeah. It's just a small thank you for letting me stay with you these past couple of months. I will pay you back properly for bills and everything once I get my first few paychecks, but I just wanted to say thanks for being there for me. I know being compassionate and patient aren't your favorite hobbies and we've had our ups and downs but I'm really glad we've had the chance to get to know each other again because, you're really awesome Santana. And I'm really proud that you've done so well for yourself. I mean you still scare the crap out of me from time to time, especially when you're involved in online combat, but you turned out pretty good. And I owe you for that. Big time."

"Well I must say I agree with everything you just said -as corny as the delivery was... And I guess you turned out pretty good too Finnocence. I mean apart from the college drop out, and the fighting habit, lack of balance, common sense and constant need for a dinner bib, you turned out ok…. And thank you. It's beautiful. You have good taste."

"Being step-brothers with Kurt has had its advantages over the years. I mean-"

"-Ssh!" she interrupts him suddenly after hearing a distant door close.

"What?"

"Ssh!"

"What?"

"Do you not know what sssh means it means sshhh!" she yells at him in a frantic whisper. They can now hear footsteps approaching.

"Someone's coming. Hide! …..Not behind me jackass, hide!"

The two trespassers begin to panic in search of a good hiding place but it proves difficult in an open choir room. Finn began waving his arms frantically.

"There's literally no where to hide in this room unless the person coming's blind!"

"Well don't worry because luckily for us I seem to remember the night-security guy they hired was in fact blind."

"Really?"

"No you moron of course they didn't hire a blind security guard!"

"Well, they could've done, I mean it's a funny world we live in. Did you ever hear about the law-breaking lawyer who broke into a school-"

"-Shut up he's coming, quick!"

She grabs him by the arm and pulls him to the floor as the two try and squeeze behind the drum-kit. It's a terrible effort but it's the best they can do. After a few minutes of silence Finn decides the cost is clear.

"I don't hear anything." He whispers optimistically. But as he gets up to investigate further, a manly figure appears behind the drum-kit, scaring Finn into flinging himself back down to the ground, smashing his head on the hi-hat cymbal on the way.

"Dammit Puck!"

"Squidins' gone. My squid. They must've taken him down. Shame cos I heard the smell reaches its peak past 5 years."

Santana gives him a look that could kill as Finn breathes a sigh of relief while nursing his now bumpy head...

* * *

><p><strong>Quick note! Okay so ratings guide confuses me so I'll give you heads up incase I got it wrong. The next chapter is kind of heavy with language and violence and stuff and then the chapter after that is pure smut! So if you don't like that kind of thing I suggest skipping the next 2 chapters! (Not that I've written anything after them yet, but I will soon.) Also I'll start moving the story along a bit quicker post next 2 chapters so if you've beared through this waffly, heavier stuff, hopefully it'll get better. <strong>

**Thanks to all reads and reviews thus far! Hope you continue to enjoy! **


	9. The Gig

He lets her sleep in his old room while he sleeps in Kurt's. It's weird. She's never been in his house before and seeing his old stuff and pictures and trophies of their McKinley glory days leaves her with a variety of emotions. His room is pretty much how she imagined it would've been and it said a lot about who he had always been as a person. It was a good room. A happy room.

* * *

><p>They're up early the next morning to go set up and practice for the gig. The boys were right; they are pretty good. In fact they're really good. She sticks around for a couple of hours but the back and forth labor involved bore her to death so she wanders out for a bit of personal shopping.<p>

She makes it back in plenty of time before the gig starts and goes backstage to comfort a panicked Puck. Turns out Finn forgot to bring a change of clothes and since leaving 2 hours ago to go and find something, hasn't returned and isn't answering his phone. She tells him to calm down and that there's still plenty of time but it becomes increasingly difficult as the clock begins to wind down.

He's ringing him for the 23rd time when the manager of the club comes and tells them he's cancelled the gig after refusing entry to Finn.

The reason: level of intoxication and suspicion of drug use.

* * *

><p>He's round the back in the now empty parking lot, struggling his way through loading up the mini-van. Out of nowhere, Puck storms over to him and slams him against the van holding him up by the scruff of his shirt.<p>

"Are you fucking out of your mind! Do you realize what you just cost us! I mean, what the fuck man, drugs! Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Get off me man. I'm not on drugs it's just my pain medication chill the fuck out."

"Pain medication. For a foot that healed 3 friggin weeks ago. Do I look like a complete moron? Geez Finn. This was our shot! This was supposed to be the pay off for busting our guts in shitty bars week in week out and you couldn't stay sober for one fucking night. You blew it for us!"

Puck begins to put hands on Finn again so she attempts to intervene.

"Puck calm down."

"No don't tell me to calm down. I'm sick of this!"

"Dude I'm sorry. I tried explaining to them but they wouldn't listen and they got the wrong idea. I'm totally sober. Yeah, I was nervous so I had a couple of beers earlier but I haven't taken anything! I didn't even know they were still in my jacket, I haven't touched them in weeks!"

"Bullshit!" Puck sighs and begins pacing the parking lot before turning back to Finn and reaching into his jacket pocket. "All right. Well then there's really no point keeping them around seeing as you don't need them now!" He pops the lid of the container and begins spreading the pills over the floor.

"No-fuck!" Finn's reactions are too slow but as the pills start rolling across the ground he attempts to frantically rescue them.

"I knew it. You're pathetic. You're a pathetic addict and you know what, you disgust me!"

"I'm know ok. I know what I am. What you think I wanna be like this? You think I enjoy living like this? You don't understand what it's like-"

"Oh here comes the martyr speech. What, I don't know what it's like being broke? Being ashamed of my life? Yeah so your life didn't turn out the way it was supposed to but neither did mine! I've been through the same shit that you have and I had a kid thrown into the equation so don't try and tell me I don't know what its like. The only difference between you and me is that you, are fucking weak!"

"Yeah you're right I am weak. And I hate myself for it every day cos if I hadn't been so weak I wouldn't have let you talk me into dropping out of Boston and convincing me to make every wrong damn decision that led me into this shit.

And maybe if I hadn't been so weak, I wouldn't have got in the car with you the day you decided to drink-drive off that fucking bridge, giving me the injury that you said had destroyed any chance of me getting into the NFL. What was it you said? "Don't be such a pussy Finn. Your shoulder's never gonna heal Finn. Trust me Finn. Grow some balls and come on the road with me Finn."

This was new information to Santana who had been quiet up till now, helpless to the raging argument between the pair.

"Wait what? That's how you got injured?"

"Yeah. I guess Mr Perfect here forgot to tell you that part. The part where he found out he knocked some girl up, got drunk and decided to drive all over town-"

"-I didn't ask you to get in the car with me." Puck interjects.

"No but I did because I was your friend. Who was trying to help you! But I wish to God that I hadn't.'

"Fine. Blame me. I'm the reason we dropped out of college. But who's to say you would've made it in the NFL anyway huh? You never had a guarantied shot. Tonight we had a guarantied shot. This was our chance to make it doing what we truly love. And tonight was your fault and this time you're the one to blame. What's it gonna take bro. How am I supposed to get through to you that you're acting like a total ungrateful dipshit. Look at you! You're a joke. But fine. You like getting fucked out your head and getting your ass kicked every night cos it makes you feel better fine, let me help you out."

And with that, the rage that had been building inside Puck reaches boiling point as he starts brutally laying his fists into Finn's face. It breaks out into the worst fight she's ever seen, especially as Finn seems to refuse to fight back.

"Does this make you feel better?" Puck yells sarcastically as he continues pounding Finn into the pavement, punch after punch. He doesn't let up and she begins to seriously fear for Finn who's now bleeding from every orifice above his neck. She hears a loud crack as Finn's head ricochets off Puck's fist and smashes against the cemented floor.

"Puck stop! Stop it Puck get off him!"

She manages to drag Puck away as a barely conscious Finn begins coughing and spitting up an unsightly amount of blood.

"You wanna stay feeling sorry for yourself forever, pissing your life away in the gutter? Fine. But I am not gonna be a part of it anymore." And with that the exasperated Puck strides out of the parking lot without so much as a glance back, leaving Santana speechless at the sight of Finn laid out on the pavement.

She rushes over to him and helps prop him up against the van, trying to assess the damage. She takes his flannel over-shirt off, grabs a bottle of water from the van and begins using them to mop up some of the blood and stem a particularly heavy gash above his eyebrow. They sit in silence for at least 15 minutes as a heavy-headed Finn watches her continue trying to tenderly clean him up.

She doesn't know what to say to him but luckily it's him who breaks the silence first.

"I'm not an addict. I don't have a problem. I mean I can stop. I've just been choosing not to."

"I know" she responds earnestly, while checking to see if the gash above his eyebrow has stopped bleeding. It hasn't so she reapplies pressure, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe he just did this to you."

"Yes you can. We both know he's right. It's screwed up but, it was actually a pretty effective way of delivering a message…. I really messed up today didn't I?"

"Kind of…. But from what I heard this morning, you guys are really good, so there's going to be other opportunities. And Puck will realize that, once he calms down. But you really have to stop." He nods and then winces at the sudden head movement. "We should probably get you to a hospital-"

"-No I'm fine."

"Can you even see me right now through the swelling? You look like the thing from the goonies."

He gives an airy chuckle. "You mean Sloth? I thought you were a movie buff. How is it you don't know the name of the creature in the goonies but you know every line of dialogue from the 'Born Skank Redemption'?"

"It's the 'Shawshank Redemption'. I'm guessing that was another film you were disappointed wasn't a porno…. Come on you've probably got concussion or a broken nose or something."

"Honestly I'm fine. I just wanna go home and forget this day never happened."

She really wants him to go to the hospital but she figures he's a big boy and he's had his face kicked in enough times to know when he can handle it, so she gives in.

"Ok."


	10. Beautiful Contradiction

**(Again, smut warning! )**

* * *

><p>She's getting ready for bed and mulling the terrible events of the day over when she hears him playing. She doesn't have a clue when or how he started learning to play the piano but she can hear him downstairs and whatever he's playing is just the most beautiful thing she thinks she's ever heard. She investigates further, standing at the top of the stairway and looking down into the living room her eyes are allowed to catch up with her ears. He's sat there at the piano stool, eyes closed as his fingers elegantly consume the piano keys, producing sounds that purely haunt her soul.<p>

He looks too big for the instrument. Like he could break it at any second. His face is still bloodied and bruised and is even more swollen now that he's cleaned up.

There's a glass of whiskey on top of the piano but it looks more like a prop than a necessity.

The music draws her in as she slowly begins to descend down the staircase and her heart begins to ache at the sight of the beautiful contradiction before her. He's such a mess. An angry, scarred and brooding mess, who's fallen so far over the years. But it's Finn. And she thinks the way he's playing right now encompasses the beauty of the man underneath the battered body. It's sweet and it's warm and it pierces through her barriers and defenses and at the same time it's sexy as hell.

He doesn't notice her until she's stood right next to him.

He stops playing and stands to meet her gaze but before he can do much else she wraps her hands around his face and crashes their lips together. She pulls away and there's a brief moment of confusion and tension before Finn pulls her back in for a much more intense and rough second kiss. Without saying a word they're locked in a lip war as they urgently begin to struggle their way up the staircase, their hands gripping each other like they've never felt skin before. Not wanting to slow down the heat, Finn lifts her up and her legs wrap instinctively around his waist as he carries her up the stairs, neither of them wanting to break the kiss. They make it to his bedroom as he sinks her onto his bed, her legs not letting go from the hold they have around his waist. His lips move to the sweet spot on her neck and she lets out a soft groan that he should not yet know how to escape from her. She subconsciously starts grinding against him and now it's his turn to let out a husky moan as he begins to feel trapped in the jeans he has on. After hastily taking his t-shirt off he helps her take off the sweats she's wearing and soon his lips start expressing the awe his eyes show in seeing her perfect sun-kissed naked body by kissing her gently from her neck down to her stomach. She fumbles at his belt as he knocks her focus off-course in the way his tongue is dragging all over her body but eventually she gets his pants off and finds her way to his hardened length. Feeling it in her hands, she's as turned on as she could possibly get and he's aware as he slides two fingers across her wetness, forcing another groan from her. She almost forgets how to breathe as he finds her clit and begins teasing her gently. She doesn't know where his sudden confidence and expertise came from but she doesn't stop to find out and it's not long before he makes her come. She's stunned. No guy has ever got her off that quick and using just his hands, and as he begins kissing her gently as she starts coming down from her euphoria she decides not to let him get away with it. Forcing herself on top of him she takes her turn in attacking his neck with her tongue while her hands forcefully push down his boxers and go to work on his hardness. The heat radiating between their bodies is almost too much and after reaching into his bedside draw for a condom she takes control, opening it with one hand and slipping it on him with impressive ease. With a trademark smirk she bears down into his eyes as she positions herself on top of him and adjusts to his above averageness. They gradually get a rhythm going as their hip bones grind in sync. She takes further control instigating a faster rhythm and forcing him to go harder by moaning the command into his ear. He does well in compliance and is rewarded for it as her walls close around him pushing him to join her over the edge in pure ecstasy. Her nails claw into his chest as they ride it out together and he just about managers to support her as her body continues to forcibly and uncontrollably spasm.

He shifts her onto her back on the bed before slumping back onto his own beside her as they both lie in the wake of their bliss.

Neither of them say anything. They're both speechless and not wanting to ruin the moment.

So she falls asleep in his arms and their bodies stay in immediate contact all night.


	11. Nonchalance

She wakes up with the biggest smile and she doesn't even know why. Her brain starts firing on all cylinders as she stretches out and once she realizes the obvious space next to her, the memory of the night before hits her like a ton of bricks. She's not sure how she feels. She knows last night was amazing but sitting up in Finn Hudson's old bed in Finn Hudson's old room without Finn Hudson anywhere in sight, irrational regret and panic start to set in. She's overthinking consequences. Her defenses are up and she's ready to run out the door faster than lightening. But she's too late, as the boy who spent the night nuzzling the back of her head enters the room half-dressed, carrying two mugs. The battle scars from last nights brawl with Puck are shining clearer than ever and he looks like total shit. So she tells him with her usual sensitive and compassionate manner.

"You look like total shit."

He laughs and nods before sitting down on the bed next to her and handing her one of the mugs.

"And morning to you too. ..It's actually not as bad as it looks."

"How do you know? I bet you can't even see yourself in the mirror hamster-face…. Yuck why is there no coffee in this milk?" she adds looking disgusted into her mug.

"Because my mom only has half-fat de-café stuff, and I know how offended you get by half-fat stuff so I thought it'd be better to stick with milk. Come on, milk's delicious! You don't have to have caffeine with everything you drink."

She looks at him like he's been speaking in a foreign language for half an hour before putting the mug on the bedside table and searching the room for her clothes. Her running away plan had to be aborted now that the source was blocking the doorway, so she has no choice but to turn to plan B, which in Santana's rulebook means going for the power play –nonchalance.

"I guess I'll have to stop off at Starbucks on my way home then."

"You're leaving now?" he asks with light disbelief.

"Yeah, well as riveting as the memory-lane-tour stroke gladiator-fight-night has been, I have work to do for tomorrow so…"

He just sits there sipping on his milk as she continues to gather up her possessions before eventually daring to be bold.

"Are we ever going to talk about what happened last night then or…"

Show time Santana.

"What's there to talk about?"

"Um, how about you and I having like, totally epic sex?… that's kind of a hot-off-the-press conversation topic!"

"So we had sex… We've done it before- granted you've improved a lot since then but I'd be sincerely worried for you if you hadn't- but I wouldn't get carried away with the phrase 'totally epic'. It was good… but it was a once in a blue moon occasion where you were drunk, and I was….. I was feeling sorry for you because you looked like a kicked-dog from the pound and you were playing that really nice music so yeah, it was drunken pity sex. _Good_, drunken pity sex, but let's not pretend it was anything different and let's not make a huge deal out of it ok?"

She avoids his gaze as she imagines the pathetic look on his crushed face but had she looked she would've seen something completely different. He was obviously a little insulted but it was as if he had spent the morning expecting this speech and prepared himself to humor her with dignity.

"Ok."

"So I need to go but thanks for letting me stay and I'm sorry about your gig, although that was kind of your fault… but go make up with Puck and I'll see you at home ok."

"Ok."

"But don't tell Puck about this ok."

"Ok."

"And stop saying ok."

"O- …sure."

They share a moment of angst as she waits for him to move out of the way of the door and as she leaves, she wishes he had reacted pathetically as expected rather than with the arrogant, dignified streak he just exuded because it's much more difficult to leave him when he's actually sexy.

* * *

><p>He arrives back at the apartment later that night while she's sat at the living room table, still hard at work. They exchange greetings before he puts his stuff down and heads for the fridge.<p>

Without lifting her head from the table, she calls out to him.

"There's no alcohol in there. I've hidden it all in my room. And those leftover pills in the bathroom went to go visit the sewer system via la toilet."

He smiles in embarrassment.

"Right. Thank you. I was just going for some juice but… yeah. Well I think I'm just gonna have a shower and go to bed. First day at the pet store tomorrow."

"Well you're going to need as much beauty sleep as possible to help make those golf ball lumps on your face look presentable. They're going to have to keep you in the back so you don't scare the customers!"

"Oh man, I didn't think about that… I could tell them I got hurt trying to rescue some baby birds in a tree or something. Yeah, like, one was hurt but the mother got all defensive but I risked it to try and save the animals…That'll get me brownie points!"

"What kind of mother-fucking big-ass bird could do _that,_ to _you_?"

"Um... a Golden Eagle? We have those in Ohio right? Wait, duh, we have one on our flag. Idiot." He face-palms himself as he heads towards the bathroom and all she can do is roll her eyes and go back to her work.

* * *

><p>It's impossible for her to sleep. She can't get him off her mind and knowing he's in the next room makes it all the worse. It's quiet, so judging from the absence of his industrial-machine snoring, she predicts he's lying awake too. This is stupid. He's just a big idiot and she could do so much better. She's standing with her hand on the door handle to his room when she realizes she'd rather get into his pants than listen to her brain. She sneaks into the room. He sits up immediately as she precedes sliding herself over his body on the bed and before he can say anything she places a finger to his lips before attacking them with hers.<p>

They have sex and she falls asleep in his arms again without saying anything.

When he wakes up in the morning she's gone.

* * *

><p>Their work schedules keep them apart for the rest of the week. When he wakes up she's gone. And when he gets home she's in her bedroom.<p>

But she sneaks into his room every night for the next 5 nights, and the sex just gets better and better...


	12. Brunch

Saturday morning he beats her to the rise and she wakes up to him staring at her with that stupid grin that looks even stupider first thing in the morning.

"Come on. There's a new pancake house up the street and I'm taking you for breakfast to celebrate today being the day I move out."

She groggily sits up and begins wiggling her nose in what he thinks is the cutest way ever possible.

"The only part of that sentence I didn't like was hearing that it's all the way up the street."

* * *

><p>They're sat having breakfast- well it's more like brunch by the time she gets herself together and out the apartment- and instead of brunch it's more like the feast of 5000 as even the giant Finn struggles to see Santana over the stack of assorted pancakes on her plate. There goes his first week's paycheck. But he's happy she's happy.<p>

She's halfway through and he's practically finished so he tries sparking up the conversation he's been dying to have.

"So…"

"So…?"

"Are you going to be able to handle me not living with you anymore? I mean after the week we've just had."

"Oh wow cocky really doesn't suit you. I'm sure I'll manage. And I'd give you a list of reasons why I've been waiting for this day since you moved in, but I have a tower of delicious pancakes in front of me and I'm sure they would pass their expiration date before I could get half way through..."

He's determined to break her game.

"Admit it. You're going to miss me. And I dare you to try and tell me any of the 9 times we had sex this week was drunken pity sex or that you were seduced by a piano."

"Why are you ruining my pancake time?"

"I know what you're doing. You're not as difficult to read as you think you are. I don't know what it is exactly but you and I have something here. And you know it. For some reason you like me and for some reason I like you so-"

"-Oh for gods sake I can't believe you're making me put down my fork! Ok, let me lay it down. You need to calm yourself. We're friends Finn. You're an entertaining person to have in my life but we are not Romeo and Juliet!"

"Well I hope not cos didn't they both die-"

"-Look we're just two people who got caught up spending too much time together. Once you move out, things will die down and you will start looking like the cabbage patch kid you are to me again and I will go back to scaring and intimidating your gentle little giant heart and the balance of the universe will be resumed."

"But-"

"But nothing. That's the truth. And you know it too. And you proved that you know it too when you said 'for some reason you like me and for some reason I like you'. If this really was something, you would've been able to give actual reasons why instead of a general, 'some'. When you can't put your finger on it it's probably because there's nothing there in the first place."

He absorbs her theory and begins to think it makes sense. Maybe it was just physical attraction in close-quarters. She watches his face turn from disappointment to confusion and finally pensiveness before attempting to completely defuse the situation.

"We clear? Good, so the only thing that's unsettled here is the explanation to why you have jam on your collar when you've got blueberry pancakes. How do you do that?"

It was a rhetorical question but he answers it with a genuine smile as he watches her tuck back into her pancake feast.

"I had some out of the jar this morning while you were getting ready..."


	13. New Years

He moves out and they don't see each other for a few weeks. She's super busy at work and he's super busy… well she has no idea because she's too busy to find out why he's busy but the point is they don't see each other. Her theory was right and after getting used to the initial change of him not being around, the balance of the universe resumes. She's able to free him from her mind and even convinces herself that her 'crush' on Finn was just a big joke courtesy of her evil sub-conscience.

* * *

><p>It's leading up to Christmas and she's just about to start her holiday vacation. Her boss gives her a Christmas bonus and a major pay-rise, she has a blast at the office party with her colleagues who are now more like close-friends, Britt comes back for a few days and everything's perfect.<p>

She goes to visit her family for the actual event. If it was just her and her close-family she probably wouldn't bother, but luckily they have their own Latino tradition where the whole entire family including cousins and grandparents and distant aunts etc. get together so she gets to avoid her parents altogether. She doesn't hate her parents, it's just, they were never around for her when she was growing up and through all the difficult stuff she went through as a teenager, so she'll be damned if she lets them play the part now that's she's a successful lawyer. There are too many unresolved issues between them, particularly between her and her mom, and neither party has the energy to try and solve them, so they stick to avoiding each other and pretend nothing's wrong if they can't.

* * *

><p>It's now leading up to New Years and she doesn't have any plans so she agrees to go to this exclusive club party some friend of Pucks has arranged. Sam and Quinn and Mercedes are back in Ohio visiting family so they're added to the list, as well as Puck's band mates (and as many groupiesdates Puck could find in short notice) and of course Finn. Britt's already taken off again so in fear of the awkward reunion with her old glee clubbers and seeing Finn for the first time since he moved out, she invites a few friends from work who failed to make plans of their own. She heads out looking hot as hell and ready to truly let lose and make best friends with the bar.

It's a great party and (despite a little initial hostility from Quinn) Sam and Mercedes waste no time in getting reacquainted with Santana who willingly stays attached to the group for the majority of the night. Her work mates are kind of slutty (hence the base of their friendship) so they have fun mingling with crowds of strange boys and Puck spends the night hitting on one of the bartenders (quite successfully). Finn shows up half way through the night, slotting straight in with the gang and she can't help but swell with pride every time she notices he's sipping on plain orange juice, going the whole party without a single drop of alcohol. They keep the group thing going for a while so conversation-wise it's easy for Finn and Santana to keep up the pretense that there's no awkward tension or history between them. However the looks they share tell a whole other story if only anyone would notice. She can't help it. Every time their eyes accidently make contact it's as if they become welded into place until the heat that rises to her face becomes unbearable and forces them to look elsewhere. He looks good. The marks from Puck's fists have disappeared, he's sober, clean cut and wearing this leather jacket that actually manages to make him look his age – the illusion's easily broken however every time his boyish grin makes an appearance. If she didn't know him she'd probably have that jacket on her bedroom floor by now. But she did know him, or more importantly he knew her.

The group gradually disperses throughout the night and once Puck gets bored with his bartender, he ropes Finn into being his wingman. The two boys are successfully hitting on a group of drunken girls and she can't help but stare with venomous envy. She has half a mind to go over and claim him, but for once she's thinking of the consequences before they happen, so she heads to the bar instead.

The midnight countdown begins and the whole club joins together for the festivities. They get to 8 when Santana suddenly feels someone grab her hand and begin pulling here away from the back of the crowd where she's standing. She instinctively knows it's him and lets him guide her to the restroom corridor. As the countdown reaches zero, he pushes her against the wall and kisses her assertively. It's one of the hottest kisses she's ever had and her only criticism is that he cuts it off early to talk to her.

"I'm sorry. I've been trying to get over you but the minute I saw you I just… I think you're the most beautiful girl in the room tonight. Not just tonight but every night and I just wanted to start my year kissing you… You can yell at me now."

She wants to yell at him. And she wants to resort to her nonchalant power play but fuck that kiss was amazing.

And he called her beautiful.

Conflicted she smacks him across the chest before grabbing his face and kissing him again. She's about to hit him again for breaking away but then she realizes he's moved his lips to her exposed collarbone and all she can do is let out a breathy moan as he starts sucking on her neck. She's screwed.

"God damn you Finn Hudson. Let's go."

* * *

><p>The speed in which they get out the cab suggests it's on fire and their lips barely separate between the ground floor and her apartment.<p>

She doesn't think she can hold out for the bedroom so she fucks him on her couch.

Half an hour later she manages to go the extra 20 feet and fucks him in the bedroom.

Lying in her bliss she's willing to admit - _that_, was totally epic sex.


	14. First Date

Things go pretty smoothly over the next couple of weeks.

Her work schedule's been fairly light and easily manageable and Finn seems to have genuinely turned his life around for the better – something she takes a lot of pride in having credit for. They've hung out pretty much every night since New Years, and being in their own little bubble she couldn't really ask for anything more.

He's contributing to her life in more ways than she'd care to admit.

The sex is beyond great and it's nice to be treated with respect for a change. Mostly she can't get enough of how special and straight-up happy he makes her. He's gotten better at the banter and knows not to push her too far with the heavy-romantic stuff and his full-of-life attitude is starting to rub off on her.

Puck continuously jokes that she can do better and on paper she probably could, but all the time she's with him she just thinks she's ridiculously lucky to have him in her life right now.

* * *

><p>It's become a thing that he stays the night anytime he comes over. She tells him it's because she has a sex-on-demand right, and its easier if he's in her bedroom more often, but in truth she just sleeps better when him beside her. She usually can't stand sleeping next to guys but Finn's different. He's warm and safe and she's surprisingly comforted by and addicted to his snoring habit and the majority of space he takes up on the bed. The thing she enjoys most about their sleepovers (despite the sex-on-demand service) is the way Finn dedicates himself to finding unique affectionate ways to wake her up in the mornings. Nose-kissing, neck-nuzzling and ear-nibbling are all tactics that have successfully been employed as well as the thigh-caressing, shoulder-biting and hip-stroking tactics that of course never fail in leading to morning-sex.<p>

This morning he decides to go for the tracing-her-back-with-his-fingertips tactic and after stirring and gathering awareness for what he's doing, she turns to face him undecided to whether he's using an affectionate or morning-sex tactic.

The bastard always looks flawless in the mornings, half-naked with raging sex-hair and a smile that is neither goofy nor adorable but just plain hot and she swears his pupils actually dilate ever time their eyes meet. He lets out a soft 'hey' while tucking a stray strand of hair delicately behind her ear as she lets her head sink back into the pillow with a contented sigh. She closes her eyes and begins her ceremonious morning nose-crinkle ritual before stretching out while making toddler-like noises, which Finn mockingly describes as her morning baby-dinosaur mode.

It's weird how they switch roles for about an hour every morning –he becomes the sexy grown-up and she the dorky infant.

"Sleep well my morning-velocerap-tana?"

"Shup nerd. You should be bringing me breakfast in bed after kicking me like that all night."

"Ha. Um… I think you'll find it was _you_ kicking _me_. You're the kicker, I'm the snorer remember. And I've got about 5 bruises to prove it. So where's my breakfast in bed David Beckham?"

"Whatever it's your fault for having such damn boney shins so…suck it." She adds slightly incoherently before yawning and tucking her head into the gap between his chin and his chest.

He instinctively wraps his arm around her as she begins mindlessly tracing his abs with her thumb.

After a few minutes of lying contentedly like this he decides to take advantage of their morning role-reversal by asking something he'd previously been too frightened to ask.

"Hey, so how about we go out today? I've got something in mind that I think you'll really enjoy!"

"Or, we could stay like this all day and only leave the bedroom for food and shower-sex."

"Aren't you getting tired of just staying in and having sex all the time?"

"Are you saying you're fed up with sex?"

"No no I'm not fed up with sex, _believe_ me. Trust me, that's not what I'm saying. I just, we never go out. I mean we haven't even been on an official first date yet!"

"What are you talking about we go out all the time."

"Where?"

"You know… when, I come down to let you into the building… that time when you sat on my copy of 'Raging Bull' so I made you drive to the mall to buy me a new one and remember that time at the club…."

"San"

"Okay so we don't go out that much but staying in is so much better. Don't you think it's better when it's just you and me… alone?"

Flashing her award-winning sex eyes she carefully shifts herself on top of him, leaving him powerless but to raise his head to meet hers for a sensual morning make-out. She's about to steal third-base but as she breaks to do so, he's allowed a moment to come to his senses and shows godly restraint by wrestling himself back on top of her and taking a time-out to pursue his conversation.

"Santana, stepping outside is not going to make us self-destruct ok. It's not healthy shutting ourselves away all the time. And I know I'm not the richest guy in the world but I wanna take you out and spoil you and have fun. Please?"

She slams her head back against her pillow and sighs. She's not used to losing arguments, but he totally just called her out on her insecurities and pulled a damn fine power-play. Knowing he's right and being oddly turned on by it, she gives him the biggest pout he's ever seen and responds in a playful strop.

"Fine. You win. We can go outside. But I'll be damned if you think I'm heading out that door before receiving at least one fucking mind-blowing orgasm."

Chuckling at the fact that she's able to make a childish temper-tantrum sexy, his eyes begin to flicker between hers and her lips as he leans down closer towards her, whispering "As you wish", before going to work on her neck as she instinctively wraps her legs around his waist and lets out a victory giggle.

* * *

><p>He takes her to a carnival. At first she thinks it's totally lame and sooo cheesy but she ends up having the best date of her life.<p>

She excels on the bumper cars striking fear into the twelve year old kids around her (and Finn), she laughs hysterically as he almost damages his vocal chords from screaming on the ghost train, laughs super-hysterically as he wins a bagged goldfish but ends up nearly crying when he drops in on the ferris wheel, and she feels sick for a little while after he challenges her to a cotton candy feasting contest. She even squees a little bit inside when he wins her a giant teddy bear on the pitching stall – it's pathetic but there's this little kid who's been annoying them all day, following them, and constantly heckling Finn telling him to get back to the freak-show, and Finn promised she could throw it at him as hard as she liked once they were leaving.

He's driving them back to her place, still in stiches at the fact that she followed through with his offer.

"I can't believe you actually threw it at him. It hit him straight in the eye. You actually hit an eleven year old kid in the eye with a stuffed toy practically twice his size!"

"Well the brat deserved it. No one makes jokes about your size and stupidity except me."

She's extremely pleased with herself and spends the majority of the journey reliving the entire date out in her head; a genuine happy smile on her face the whole time.

"What?" she asks coyly after she noticing he's been staring at her instead of the road for the last ten minutes.

"See, I told you I could get you to have fun."

"What makes you think you had anything to do with it?"

"Yeah right. I totally had _everything_ to do with it. If there's ever a victory to be claimed, it's this one, and I'm claiming it."

She totally loves it when he does arrogance successfully.

"And how do you suppose you'll celebrate such a victory?" she asks with a sly smirk on her face.

"By claiming you, in your bed as many times as you can handle…"

His face reveals his self-disgust as he hears what he just said.

"That was a little creepy wasn't it…"

"Yeah you ran away with the swagger a bit too much that time sweetie but you're getting better."

She called him sweetie. It was condescending but still, affectionate-wise it was progress. And he loved it...


	15. The Jump

It's Valentines Day. Her absolute most hated and desperately sought to avoid day of the year. She's been semi-officially dating Finn for few weeks now and it's going great, but she insists that they don't make a big deal of the dreaded V-Day.

In fact she insists they don't make a big deal of anything.

Everything must be casual at all times.

He's done well so far, and she convinces herself she's escaped the sickening holiday with only a few jokes from Finn about giving her mono as revenge from high school but the idiot has other plans.

He convinces himself she's double bluffing by giving him a list of all the things he's not to do on Valentines Day, so he decides to do them all.

He buys her a dozen red roses and a heart shaped pillow and a diamond necklace (which is the only thing she doesn't really hate) and he shows up on her lunch break in his best suit with them all in his arms. He's about to sing her a song and her colleagues are watching in awe because they think he's a human Valentine-gram but she manages to drag him into her office before they realize he's actually the guy she's been seeing.

She's mortified.

She's totally embarrassed and mad that he did all the things she deliberately told him not too and she's completely freaking out inside about a whole lot of things she doesn't understand. He apologizes as profusely as he can and even throws the pillow out of her 4th story office window to try and amend his mistake but it's not enough to stop her practically running to her car in one heck of a fluster. He chases her to her Mercedes and jumps in the passenger seat, grabbing the keys from the ignition despite her protests and intimidating threats based around castration.

"Santana stop, you can't keep doing this. I'm sorry about just now ok, I get it, I totally embarrassed you but I, thought you were bluffing! I made a mistake and I get it. But you need to stop running away from me, from us!"

She doesn't know why she's so upset but he's completely cornered her so she starts to lash out.

"God why do you have to be such a drama drip all the time!"

"Because you're such a drought. Or some other clever… counter… whatever. Look I just, I came here to ask you, to be my girlfriend."

The sound of the 'G' word echoes profoundly in her head and causes such crippling panic its like there's some tiny person in her brain with a hand lingering on a self-destruct button.

But he has his hands wrapped around one of hers to stop her from leaving and he's looking at her so intently she's forced to hear what he goes on to say.

"I like you so much Santana. You're smart and ambitious and just the funniest most ridiculously beautiful person I know and I know who I am when I'm with you. I know you think falling in love is stupid and from what I gathered that night you yelled at me when you were drunk you have a phobia of cliffs. But I just jumped off one. And I need you to jump with me. Because otherwise I'm just some giant dork who just jumped off a cliff for no reason. Or something… I don't know I don't really understand the metaphor, I just think that if we jump together, we're good enough to make gravity-boots or propellers on the way down. Again I don't really understand the metaphor..."

She's got this really condescending-bitch look on her face (which is completely accidental because really she's just trying to digest and understand all the things he's trying to say without having a complete mental breakdown) and it should completely deter him but he just plows on through her silence.

"I want to be with you. You and me, it just works. Or at least it would if you let it…"

She's still not saying anything. And he's completely unsure whether he's pissed her off or confused her even more and starts to worry that she's thinking about following through with her castration threats. However luckily for him she's actually deep in thought about something else.

He starts to continue on, determined to get his point across to her.

"Just give me a shot at making you happy because I think-"

She finally interrupts him in a surprisingly calm manner.

"-That song you were about to sing back there…"

As she trails off in thought, he gently responds in a calm manner to match hers, as if he's afraid of spooking her away again.

"Um, 'One and Only' by Adele. I know she's one of your all-time favorite artists and I thought the lyrics were kind of perfect for us. And I thought serenading you would be perfect because your favorite scene from that Heath Ledger movie is where he sings to her on the football field. I had a wig as well to make me look like him but I thought it made me look stupid… it didn't frame my face very well. Guess it wouldn't had mattered, cos I look stupid anyway-"

"-Just, shut up for a minute Finn."

She knows the song and the lyrics off by heart and they've been subconsciously playing in the back of her head since she got in the car but after silencing him she turns the CD player on, changes disks and lets the track play out loud. She sits back in her chair, eyes focused directly out the window at nothing, absorbing the song as he just sits there next to her watching her, at a loss as to what to do otherwise.

You've been on my mind,

I grow fonder every day,

Lose myself in time,

Just thinking of your face,

God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go,

You're the only one that I want,

I don't know why I'm scared,

I've been here before,

Every feeling, every word,

I've imagined it all,

You'll never know if you never try,

To forgive your past and simply be mine,

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,

Promise I'm worthy,

To hold in your arms,

So come on and give me a chance,

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,

Until the end starts,

If I've been on your mind,

You hang on every word I say,

Lose yourself in time,

At the mention of my name,

Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close,

And have you tell me whichever road I choose, you'll go?

I don't know why I'm scared,

'Cause I've been here before,

Every feeling, every word,

I've imagined it all,

You'll never know if you never try,

To forgive your past and simply be mine,

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,

I promise I'm worthy, mmm,

To hold in your arms,

So come on and give me a chance,

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,

Until the end starts,

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart,

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart,

Nobody's pefect,

Trust me I've learned it,

Nobody's pefect,

Trust me I've learned it,

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,

I promise I'm worthy,

To hold in your arms,

So come on and give me a chance,

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,

Until the end starts,

Come on and give me a chance,

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,

Until the end starts

As the last chorus begins to repeat and fade-out she lets out a sigh heavier than intended and smiles at how awkward Finn looks within the scene.

"Okay." She says softly although there's a distinct assertiveness underneath.

"Okay?" He asks slightly confused but slightly optimistic.

"Okay I'll.. be your girlfriend."

This time the 'G' word has a lighter more pleasant ring to it than the heavy echo issued when he said it earlier and she thinks it has something to do with the look of awe, relief and pure happiness that erupts on his face as she says it. He leans across the car, delicately places one of his giant hands on the side of her face and pulls her towards him for one of the most tender but passionate kisses she's ever received. She's smiling into the kiss and he notices and smiles back before assertive-Santana returns and pulls away from the kiss to whip him back into place.

"But don't ever pull a stunt like that again."

He shakes his head in (half-) mocking fear and she leans back in for one last kiss before turning to get out the car to head back to work.

"Also you're not allowed to play the 'Adele' card again." She dictates. "It's not fair, her lyrics are too powerful." She goes to get out the car before turning back again. "And thank you for the necklace." This time she gets a foot out the door before turning back. "But get rid of the smug grin cos you'll wear your face out."

She finally gets out the car and he follows her example while chuckling in disobedience. Without a single glance back, she heads (struts) back to her office waving the keys she took from his lap behind her head to lock the car as she goes. He watches her the whole way and as soon as she enters the building he lets out a burst of happiness in the form of a weird spasmy jump that frightens an old lady across the street. A sigh of relief follows and as he heads back towards his own car he receives a text that ensues a smile that does indeed nearly wear his face out.

_**One last thing, you are totally and unbelievably getting laid tonight. Mr boyfriend.**_

_**S x**_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Ok so i know the Adele bit was probably a bit cheesy but i've always thought that song really suits Santana (i.e Ryan Murphy should let Naya Rivera do it on the show!) also i was referring to Heath Ledger film '10 things i hate about you' if you were wondering.**

** Thanks to all reads and reviews! -i'd respond to y'all personally but i don't really know if that's ****conventional for fanfiction and i don't want to creep anyone out if it isn't... but thank you!**


	16. The Puma

She's at home sipping on a beer while trying to finish some work but it's a lost battle. She hasn't seen him for a couple of days and she can't concentrate and she's in desperate need of attention. So she picks up her phone to text him.

Now that she's officially with Finn, she's really _with_ him. Like, all those big fears and paranoia that were telling her to run a mile have been shoved into a box at the back of her head. She still gets insecure from time to time, and deep down a part of her is resigned to the fact that he'll leave or hurt her (his track-record of relationships from high-school prove that he's capable of being a douche, even unintentionally). But now they're on the same page and she just figures why she has him, she should make the most of him.

She knows he's at work but he only has an hour left of his shift and she figures she can cheer him up now that the novelty of working in a pet store has worn off for him.

**_I know you've been working with animals all day but I'm gonna need u to get your ass over here pronto because there's a sex puma in my bedroom who requires your attention. S x_**

It's kind of a lame sext, but it's Finn and she doesn't want his brain to explode. (Or anything else for that matter.)

Despite his oversized and often clumsy digits he's actually pretty swift at texting back, at least with her anyway.

**_Aarhaeuihfehfh! My boss just asked me to do an extra shift this afternoon and there's no one else to cover. Sorry babe. Maybe u can just contain the puma until I get there tonight? (ps how do you do those cheeky wink emoticon things?)_ FINN x**

She's disappointed to say the least. She knows it's not his fault but she decides to punish him anyway.

**_Boo. Your boss sucks. Hhmm I guess I can try, but I make no promises. Might have to start without you and give the puma my own attention… (ps you don't do cheeky wink emoticons. Just don't.) S x_**

She's waiting for him to text her back but after 10 minutes of nothing she throws her phone on the couch in a dissatisfied huff and forces herself back to her own work.

Another 30 minutes later she's gives up on work completely and grabs another beer, getting ready to kick back to some good ol' mind-numbing television.

Someone knocks on her door and as she stumbles on her way to answer it she suddenly becomes aware that she's probably had one beer too many. Although it helps to prepare her for what happens next…

As soon as she opens the door a strong pair of hands attach themselves to her waist as familiar lips begin to assault hers. She's so pleasantly surprised, she lets him kiss her assertively as they make their way to the bedroom and its only when she's stripping off his jacket that it occurs to her he should still be at work.

"Mm.." she moans pulling away from him to solve the mystery. "Hi. What are you doing here I thought you had another shift?"

"Well I've heard that pumas are very dangerous creatures that can get very frustrated when contained against their will…"

"Mmm?" she offers unable to resist the quick-fire attack of kisses he's showering on her.

"I was worried about you... So I quit."

She giggles against his mouth but after an inappropriate amount of time passes without him acknowledging the joke, she pushes him away to study his face.

"Wait… are you serious?"

"Yup."

He's smiling as if he just cured cancer or some amazing feat, which just makes her disbelief and anger boil quicker.

"You quit your job. What the f- Why would you quit your job?"

"It's no big deal. It was just some crummy temp job. And I wasn't allowed to hold the cute animals anymore since I dropped that chinchilla, and you know how much insects freak me out. And you know, I didn't want to be there, I wanted to be here with you…. With the… puma…" He trails off after seeing how much she's frowning. And when she lets fire he almost ducks under the bed.

"Oh my god Finn! You quit your job so that you could come over here and have sex? You quit your job for a nooner with your girlfriend, who you have sex with every night anyway! Do you not hear how stupid that is?"

There's a long pause as she slumps down onto the bed, her head buried in her hands as he just stands there blinking rapidly as the situation dawns on him.

"…Yes.. I am now hearing how stupid that is."

She almost begins laughing in desperation. This guy…

But Finn just shrugs his shoulders after his short minute of panic and sits down on the bed next to her, grabbing her hand with a slightly mischievous smile.

"I quit because the hours were crummy and I missed you too much. You hate it when I come over here smelling of aquariums, the pay is terrible so I can never treat you with stuff you deserve and you mock me mercilessly for having a uniform that makes me look like the 'green giant'."

She accidently smiles because she does call him that, but quickly snaps herself back into the situation by returning to her glare.

"I'll find another job first thing tomorrow. A better one. But in the mean time…"

Seeing as her frown's started to mellow he takes advantage by gently kissing her from her temple down to her exposed collarbone. She sighs, half in resignation and half in content at what he's doing and after shaking her head one last time she gives in to him, looping her arms around his neck to press their foreheads together.

"You quit your job for a nooner with me…" she restates in a more mild, appreciative tone.

She guesses it's kind of romantic. Fucking stupid, but romantic.

Teasing him with kisses she swiftly moves so she's straddling him on the edge of the bed. Working her hands up his torso she plants a heavily lustful kiss on his lips before putting on her sensuous voice to playfully ask him a question.

"You sure you can handle the puma, aquarium-boy?"

He smiles and resumes the make-out session as one hand slips under the back of her tank-top and the other begins to work its way up her thigh.

"I know a lot about pumas actually. Like how they're extremely agile…" his hands still working their way around her perfect body as he leans so she can feel his hot breath on her neck. "They like to growl and hiss a lot…." he adds while sucking slow and hard on her neck and goddam if this isn't the sexiest thing he's ever said or done to her. "They like to go hard and fast….. and they like to sit on wood."

She gives him the biggest smirk with pride that he's actually managed to say something that almost counts as dirty, and it's an achievement that makes him sexier than ever.

"To survive a rumble in the jungle with a puma… you just, need to know, how to please them." he drags out the last sentence before suddenly snarling a loud, husky growl into her ear, causing her to erupt in a startled shriek, as he stands lifting her up in the air. Not-so-gently slamming her back down on the bed, he positions himself on top of her and as he starts attacking her body roughly with his lips, she can't help but burst into a fit of giggles at her sexy but ever-dorky idiot of a boyfriend.


	17. For The Sake Of The Band

Puck, Brittney, Finn and Santana are all sat around a table at their local cocktail bar, brainstorming ideas for Finn's new employment options. It's roughly been a week since he quit and Britt's back and staying with Santana again for a few weeks. Luckily for Finn, Britt's a heavy sleeper so his nighttime activities and schedule with Santana haven't really changed…

So far no one's offered a valid or useful idea but luckily Finn's patient by nature and listens to them all anyway.

"You could join me in my pool cleaning business. You'll have to bulk up though cos the women only buy if you offer up some shirtless goods." Puck offers without kidding.

Finn tosses the idea aside.

"Nah I shouldn't have a job in the sun cos I burn easily…"

"You could be a hot fireman?" Santana suggests with a quirked eyebrow.

He mulls it over after seeing how she's clearly turned on by the idea but tosses it aside again.

"Too clumsy. And like I said I burn really easily."

Puck and Santana roll their eyes in unison before Brittney brings forth her own serious idea.

"You could be a weatherboy. Cos I mean, you're always the first to know when it's raining.. cos you're so tall."

Ignoring her comment Puck tries again.

"I've heard male stripping pays a wad. Plus with the amount of chicks it's basically a gold mine. I should probably work there. Again, you'd need to bulk up."

The three of them continue bombarding him with useless ideas, no longer giving him time to respond.

Puck: "Stunt man?"

Britt: "Hot dog vendor"

Santana: "Lumber-jack? You totally have the clothes for it."

Britt: "Flip-flop salesman."

Puck: "Goofy mascot at Disney World?"

Santana: "Window cleaner?"

Puck: "Hagrid mascot at Harry Potter World?"

Britt: "You should work at a pet store!"

All useless. And the useless ideas only stop flowing because they're distracted by a heated row breaking out between some of the bar staff.

And then Puck brings up a suggestion Finn's been trying to avoid surfacing.

"Why not just take the job Burt offered you?"

Santana's ears prick up in curiosity. "What job?"

He sighs in defeat at having to reveal something he'd rather not.

"Burt offered my a job working at his tire store. Well, he says there's always a job for me there and that he can train me properly to be a mechanic and stuff. It's kind of a good deal actually."

He's trying to play it down it but an ignorant Puck does the opposite.

"It's a great deal! I'd totally take it if I were you."

It _sounds_ like a great deal, but she's aware of the consequences before anyone even mentions them.

"Wait so you'd be moving back to Lima? Well what about…" she wants to say _us_. She wants to say what happens to you and me? She wants to say isn't this just peachy that you convince me to be your girlfriend and then decide to move to a different city a month later!

But she's not gonna show that kind of emotion. Not in front of Puck and Brittney.

So instead she ends her sentence with "what about the band?"

Once again an emotionally ignorant Puck makes things worse.

"He can drive back for practice it's not that far. Plus we got a few gigs lined up in north Ohio soon anyway so it's kind of perfect."

Afraid of revealing anything she swallows everything she wants to say to deliver a fake-nonchalant "Uh huh."

Finn knows what's going on in her head. But he really hasn't given the job a lot of thought because of the same consequences she's jumping to, and he really doesn't want to have this conversation in public so he just tries his best to put her mind at rest.

"It's a last resort. I've got next month's rent covered already so I still have time to find something else."

The row between the two bar staff reach breaking point as one of them ends up throwing his dish-cloth down and storming out, but Finn's too caught up in trying to read Santana's expression to care.

She's staring away from the table, her brain clearly working overtime, and he's about to find an excuse to take her home so they can talk about this when Brittney offers an alternative conversation to lure her back to the table.

"So is everybody going to Quinn and Sam's wedding?"

"Hells yes. I mean how hilarious is that gonna be if we all go? Plus I love weddings. Desperate, lonely bridesmaids everywhere!" Puck responds giving Finn a knowing nudge that she doesn't much appreciate.

"Yeah I'm sure it'll be a hoot for Quinn if we all show up. I can just imagine the service now, with Quinn walking down the aisle, the ex-boyfriend who knocked her up when she was sixteen on the left, and the ex-boyfriend who made her cheat on her soon-to-be-husband and then broke her heart on the right."

Finn looks genuinely alarmed but Puck just laughs. "Come on, that's ancient history. We've all been good for years now."

"I think it'll be fun. Pretty dresses, dancing, cake, open bar…"

"See, Britt knows what I'm talking about!"

"Plus I've never been to India."

"It's in Indiana Britt. Indianapolis, Indiana… USA."

"Oh…. That's a shame. I probably didn't need to get all those shots then..."

Puck resists the urge to face-palm and starts pressing Finn.

"Dude you in? We could book a hotel, make a weekend of it... The four of us. Although you're not drinking a drop of alcohol. Open bar or not, a wedding is not the time to fall of the wagon. At least not a _friend's_ wedding."

"I'm in. And I'm fine. There isn't even a wagon to be on. The problem is non-existent. I could even work at a bar again without a single temptation. Although I'm gonna have to borrow some cash for flights."

"Dude we can drive down…"

The boys start planning out the small details but Santana just ups and leaves the table with no warning after checking out of the conversation pretty much as soon as it began. She heads over to the bar and starts talking to one of the staff members. The three abandoned at the table stare in confusion as Santana chatters away in the distance, her arms flying animatedly. Finn starts to wonder if he should go over and intervene but although he has no idea what's going on he's pretty confident she's winning whatever it is.

After a few more minutes of yelling, pointing over in the direction of their table and the completion of some kind of paper-work apparently, Santana struts back to the table, a dangerously proud smile on her face.

"Finn go home, get changed into something neat, clean and black because your trial shift starts in 1 hour and 45 minutes."

"…What?"

"That kind bar manager over there has agreed to give you a trial shift tonight and if you don't screw it up he might just hire you."

"What? How did you? Shouldn't they have to know-"

"Well I just calmly explained to him that I was throwing a hen party tonight with a large guest-list, which of course made him panic due to his recent short-staffing, and I offered him the simple solution of hiring you. Of course I had to tell him that you were the best bartender in the city with the reputation of a customer favourite, particularly with the women, but also that you were recently a victim of an unfair dismissal with a bar that shall remain unnamed because of an ongoing legal dispute in which we are suing them for height discrimination, and unless he wanted his establishment to follow down the same path of bankruptcy, he should offer you a trial shift. Which he did. So go home, change, come back and if you don't screw this up, by the end of the night you will be a well-paid bartender in a high-end cocktail bar. Which means you won't have to move to Lima and be apart from the, band."

He's speechless. Like, totally stunned.

She can't help but smile at the degree in which he's looking at her with awe and admiration.

"I think the word you're looking for is BAMF." Puck offer to a still speechless Finn.

"Oh and Britt, you and I have to go home and change too because we're coming back to try and make as many friends as possible for a fake-ass hen party so that after Finn gets the job I can negotiate his salary and the weekend off for Quinn's wedding…."


	18. Indiana Part 1

Finn nails his trial shift. He's hired on the spot and has been expressing his gratitude towards Santana ever since. At first she worries and sends Puck to spy on him for his first few shifts to make sure it's not a disastrous plan that will end with him drinking himself to sleep in his car again, but he proves them all wrong.

And a month later he's a valued employee with the weekend off to go to Indiana for his good friends' wedding.

* * *

><p>It's pretty late by the time the 4 of them arrive at their hotel in Indianapolis so as soon as they're shown to their 2 adjacent rooms, they all head straight to bed. Santana and Finn are sharing of course and Puck and Brittney agreed to share, given that neither of them has ever been shy or inhibitive.<p>

Santana's tucked up in bed waiting impatiently for Finn to make his way out of the bathroom. Whether from tiredness, travel-lag from the 5 hour journey that should've taken 2 hours if she hadn't been stuck in a car with morons who stopped for every rest-room and different interesting looking rocks while listening to a Van Halen CD on repeat the whole time! or whether from the prospect of having to see Quinn live out the happiest moment of her life tomorrow, she's feeling extremely irritable.

"Man it's hot in here. Do you think it's hot in here?" she asks as he finally makes his way towards the bed.

"A little I guess, I'll go turn down the holy shi-yaa-ee!"

"What? What?"

He's doing this weird spasmy thing that makes him look like his spine's imploding or something.

"Fuck a moth just flew in here." He states as if the world was just about to end.

"Oh. So?"

"Shit. Hand me that book-thing."

"Just leave it, it's just a little moth you giant freak-ass baby!"

She doesn't move a muscle, while Finn begins stalking the room, twitching his neck every 10 seconds in search of the creature. From his movements you'd think he was Steve Irwin or something, but from the fact that he's creeping around a hotel room in nothing but his underwear trying to batter a moth, you'd think otherwise.

"Ok have you ever seen Star Trek? Me neither but one time when I was like 14 I accidently turned it on and it was this weird episode where they landed on this weird planet and a dozen giant, pink, freaky bat-moth things got on the spaceship and started attaching themselves to the space dude's faces, killing them all by sucking out all the blood and stuff and it was probably the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life!"

He's not even kidding. And her mouth is literally hanging open at the sight in front of her.

"… wow. Just wow. Ok I know that moth is more intelligent than you but you are about a gajillion times bigger so just-"

"ssh! Your voice is scaring it behind the closet."

"No the big man-child standing on a chair in the middle of the room swinging a paper-bat around is scaring the thing behind the closet. Look I promise you will make it through the night with the little moth in the room okay, so just get your ass in bed. The moth probably won't survive because it's so damn hot in here but whatever."

"Maybe if I turn out the lights. And then turn them on again real quick."

"No just- oh."

He starts flicking the lights on and off rapidly as if he's under the impression moths are epileptic or something.

"Haha stupid moth. Thinks it's so smart getting in here but not tonight buddy! You picked the wrong guy to mess with. I'm as patient as ghandi and as handy with a weapon as the purple haired girl from kick-ass. I don't care if I have to stay up all night, you're not going to beat me. I'm, I'm going to beat you. With a paper-bat. So… "

"Finn, if you don't get your ass in bed right now I'm swear to god I'm not going to have sex with you for a month."

He's genuinely conflicted. And for a moment she thinks he's crazy enough not to let it go but before long he puffs out his chest and turns the lights back off before crawling into bed. He clings onto her all night and she kind of thinks it's adorable. What's _not_ adorable however, is the many spasm attacks he experiences throughout the night every time he thinks the moth is near him. He accidently bashes the outside of her shoulder at one point, and if that turns up in a bruise tomorrow, she's going to kill him.

* * *

><p>The wedding ceremony is beautiful.<p>

Santana's on best behavior the whole day and not just because Finn made her promise to be nice but because the whole thing is perfect and she's genuinely happy for her two newlywed friends. Despite all their high school fall-outs and the distance between them nowadays, Quinn asks her and Brittney to fill in as a double-team of bridesmaids for the original who got sick at the last minute and it's a sincere honor for them both. Quinn looks amazing as does Mercedes who shows up as her maid-of-honor, her parents are both well-behaved despite sitting at opposite ends of the church and Sam even chokes up a little halfway through reciting his vows.

The only slight glitch is that the reception is held in this huge, beautiful garden and the sun spends the day hiding behind the clouds so all the girls in their dresses basically freeze their asses off in the wind. Everybody manages to keep their spirits about it though, especially after Santana sets the trend of forcing their dates to give them their suit jackets. Not that she had to use any amount of force on Finn who's been the perfect date all day.

From the minute he first saw her in the modest but hot-as-hell red dress she's wearing, he hasn't stopped complimenting how beautiful she looks. He whispers it when they reach the church, mouths it to her when she's standing next to Quinn performing her bridesmaids duty and then whispers it to her again time after time between the speeches, the cake and even while he's convinced her to dance, after promising he wouldn't butcher her feet. She hasn't stopped smiling all day because of him and sitting at their table, nuzzled under Finn's arm watching everyone at the height of happiness, she finally thinks she's there too.

Eventually she decides she's warm enough to take off his jacket but as she folds it over the back of her chair, a folded up notepad falls out one of the pockets. She wonders how she failed to feel the thick lump of paper when she was wearing the jacket, but figures the size difference between her and Finn probably meant the lump sat unnoticed under the cavern of her own rumbustious lumps on her chest.

She picks up the notepad and casually starts flicking through it, soon realizing that its some kind of poetry journal.

Glancing over the scribbled verses she turns to him and asks "What the frac is this?" with a humorous smile on her face.

"It's my lyric journal. Puck makes us carry them everywhere just incase inspiration hits."

Taking a closer look she reads through 4 or 5 of the pages, completely unaware of the giggles that escape her with every turning of a page.

"Why are you laughing?" he asks in offence.

"I'm not laughing."

"Yes you are. That guy 20 tables across from us heard you laughing. And that's Quinn's deaf Uncle!"

"I'm not, I'm sorry. It's just.. some of these lines are so dramatic! 'Every smile makes me crumble like a landslide to the sea, but I build back up to solid metal when you remind me you're with me.' I mean I'm gonna have to start calling you Mr Metaphor from now on… Ha, oh and I like this one about 'writing her name in the sand so that a billion grains will know', that's pretty clever imagery and stuff ….oh and this girl who 'takes the sun with her every time she leaves' sounds great, although she should probably stop closing the drapes when she leaves you alone…'"

She's being more sarcastic than she realizes and he storms off when he can't take anymore.

Finally aware of how she's offended him her heart sinks to her stomach as her words echo in her head the way he heard it…


	19. Indiana Part 2

She spends a good 20 minutes looking for him around the garden she's convinced is probably just as big, if not bigger than Russia, before finally finding him sitting alone up on a branch in a very tall tree.

She's not even surprised that this is his chosen sanctuary. In fact she thinks this should have actually been the first place she should've looked.

He looks ridiculously sad and her heart sinks again.

"Finn, come down so we can talk about this."

"No."

"Finn come on, I'm sorry I was just joking. I didn't mean any of it."

"Just give me some space Santana ok."

"You've been up there for 45 minutes it's getting dark…. The moths will be out soon!"

"Well maybe you could hand me my song journal and I could use it as a paper-bat seeing as it's so worthless!"

"Urrgh I said I'm sorry. Just accept my apology and come down!"

"Okay. Wait… yeah no I don't want to."

She doesn't like childish sarcasm unless she's the one delivering it.

"Urgh you're so frustrating. You're such a big sensitive, stubborn, sulking baby!"

"Oh really? Why don't you go write down how you feel about your frustration so I can read it and tell you that it sucks!"

"Ok you know what, if you're not going to come down I'm gonna come up!"

"No Santana don't. It's really high up here and you don't have sufficient tree climbing experience!"

"Well if you can do it then I'm sure I'll manage."

It's a big tree and she's in a well-fitted dress with 4-inch heels but she'll be damned if she lets him win. He starts panicking for her.

"No babe seriously, I'm like 2 feet taller than you and, just please don't I don't want you to hurt yourself!"

"Yeah well so's your face!... ok I didn't hear what you just said cos these leaves are in the way of my ears but I'm coming up… Finn I'm stuck. Finn? Finn where are you?"

"I'm right here! Just grab that branch and pull yourself up. No that's my leg. Santana grab the branch not my, ok, just grab and swing on my leg that's good!" He adds with more childish sarcasm as she literally starts swinging on his right leg as her legs fail to wrap around the trunk of the tree.

"Finn I'm going to kill you when I get up there! Quick help, pull me up!"

"Well I don't think I want to if you're gonna-"

"I will bite you're leg if you leave me hanging for one second-"

"Ok ok hang on."

Swinging his left leg over the other side of the branch for support he reaches down to pull her up on the branch beside him. It's not easy and they both get bad scratches from the effort (most of Finn's from Santana's heels) but the important thing is they get there in the end.

"Phew well you sure as hell picked the suckiest tree in the yard to climb."

"Well that's me. All my decisions and thoughts are sucky…"

After catching her breath and regaining a sense of calm she acknowledges how genuinely heartbroken he is, and it totally breaks hers to think she's such a bitch.

She never meant to offend him. She doesn't even know why she laughed...

"Hey. I'm sorry. Okay I am so sorry. You don't suck. Those lyrics are actually really, really good. Seriously! I just, you know, I struggle with the serious stuff. And emotions and feelings make me nervous so I can't help but try and stamp humour over it all. It was a stupid, immature reflex… I'm sure Rachel would've loved them all."

"They're not about Rachel. They're about _you.._. Sometimes I just have all these feelings and things that I wanna say to you but I get scared that you're gonna laugh or yell at me so I just write them down instead. I turn my thoughts into lyrics and keep them in my journal cos I don't know how you'd feel about being song material. But Puck says emotional lyrics are best when they're the truth and I'm sorry if that makes you nervous but for me that's the truth… Obviously I was right to keep them from you."

She takes a deep breath to absorb what he just said and exhales heavily before opening her heart to him.

She's brave enough to do this..

"You know what I was thinking today? I was thinking that everything was perfect and that I couldn't have been happier if I tried. And it has nothing to do with the wedding or how beautiful this place is, it has everything to do with _you_… The way you make me feel perfect. And i realized it's not even just today. You make me feel perfect all the time... Well, you know except like 10% of the time when you do ridiculously stupid things that make me want to impale you with blunt objects but you know, 90% is the highest percentage of feeling perfect all the time that anyone has ever made me feel. And I know I can be, difficult, but I'm trying to change… I don't want you to be scared of telling me how you feel... because I really like being the girl who takes the sun away from you when she leaves..."

There's a moment's pause before he looks up at her with adoration and they share a touched smile.

But Finn's soon turns into the fearful/confused/apologetic look he wears so often.

"Actually that's not a good example cos that song's not about being left in the dark by love, its actually a metaphor for when you always take the bag of doritos to work when I haven't finished my half. The sun is actually a metaphor for doritos... But you can be the girl who makes me crumble but then build me back to metal?"

She looks down with an exasperated smile.

"I'd _love_ to be that girl. And you can be the boy who makes me feel the same."

They share a tender kiss as the sun goes down ahead of them.

And then he just holds her as her head rests on his shoulder as they both take in the moment...

"…We should probably get back to the reception because we've been missing for a while and my ass is really starting to hurt sitting on this bark."

"Absolutely. Plus the moths will be coming out soon."

She laughs as he helps her climb down from the tree, which although easier than going up still proves a difficult task and Finn takes a stiletto to the arm, punching a hole in his bicep.

As they walk hand in hand back to reception she brings up an unfinished topic.

"You do realize if I leave the bag of doritos behind, it'll be _me_ without sun, going into darkness… would you really rather I felt like that?"

"No! I definitely don't want you to feel like that! No you should definitely take the doritos with you." He adds with chivalry before clocking her manipulation.

"But wait. You'd already eaten your half, so the sun's not yours to take. You ate your sun the night before!"

"Yeah but the next day I'll be in total darkness!"

"But if you have the sun twice you're just gonna get super sunburnt and heatstroke and-"

"-okay I think we've taken the metaphor too far…. Let's just buy an extra bag of doritos next time.."

"Genius!" he exclaims, planting a kiss on her temple.

"...I'm still going to have to hide mine from you aren't I" he half-jokes as she bursts into laughter.

And as they continue to walk with fingers entwined, she links her free hand around his arm, lulling him into a false sense of affection...  
>Before twisting her leg behind to kick him in the ass... <p>

* * *

><p><strong>(Part 3 to arrive... when i've written it! :D )<strong>


	20. Milestones

**Okay so i lied... There is no part 3 because i decided to move this all along quicker and get to the real drama. Hopefully i'll speed this up over the next few days. Thanks again to all read + reviews and enjoy!**

* * *

><p>They make it to their 6-month anniversary. And she even lets him take her out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate and she doesn't even bother trying to pretend like she's not loving every second of it. Although he's thrilled that she's finally letting him spoil her for a change, he vows never to do it again after she behaves atrociously, entertaining herself by footsying him under the table in a 'sensitive' area, making him squirm and twitch in his seat by every time he's involved in a conversation with the waiter.<p>

When she leans over to him after their plates have been cleared and whispers that having her for dessert would be far more satisfying than ordering anything off the menu, he practically begs the waiter for the check before driving home at a turbulent speed continued as they rip each others clothes off making their way to her bedroom.

Afterwards they snuggle and watch some cliché romantic movie and despite mocking the thing the whole way through like a pro, she ends up choking up towards the final scene. She thumps him across the chest and claims she's crying at how bad it is when he notices.

As soon as the clock turns 12.01 he stretches out of bed to reach his discarded jacket, pulling out two small, neatly wrapped packages.

"Here" he offers to her surprise.

"What's this?"

"Well, you said, well you _demanded_ that you didn't want me to get you anything for our anniversary and given how valentines day worked out I figured it was probably best to actually obey you, but I'd already bought these so, now that its 12.01 and officially not our anniversary…. Happy not-anniversary!"

"Finn…"

"No please, just open them."

The first is this beautiful calligraphy pen, which although simple, causes her to swell with emotion because she'd just broken her last one and been devastated.

She only briefly mentioned it to him once last week. This guy actually listens to her.

Plus there are tickets to a Jessie J concert underneath and she's been dying to go for a year.

The second box contains a small silver charm that, while beautifully designed, confuses her slightly. But seeing as Finn looks more excited about her opening this one than the other, she tries to maintain excitement.

"It's… a fish?"

"Yeah! Well, technically it's a shark, but I was trying to think of something that represented me so I could be one of the lucky charms on your bracelet, but they didn't have anything that looked like a Frankenteen so then I thought hmm… Finn… shark _finn_! Get it, cos sharks have _fins _and Finn's my name." (She really didn't need that level of explanation.) "Plus remember how you used to call me 'aquarium-boy' and how when I was an 'alcoholic' you used to say that I drink like a fish… plus if anyone tried to hurt you I would totally go all 'jaws' on their ass… When I was explaining this to the woman in the store she told me I should get you a penguin, cos penguin kinda rhymes with Finn and apparently they're cuter and its more romantic cos penguins mate for life and stuff, but I thought that was a stupid idea because A) sharks are cooler and B) I can't dance. And you and I have both seen happy feet."

At first all she can think about is how sorry she feels for the woman in the store who had to hear him explain all that the first time and then she can't help but think it's a waste of time trying to educate him in cinema when the only films he actually pays attention to are the ones with animals in, but then she looks between him and the little shiny shark charm she's holding in her hand and all she can think about is how crazy she is for this boy.

"Sharks are way cooler."

She leans over to kiss him and it's as if they competing to see can smile the widest while they do. Stroking a finger along his jaw line she gives him a smoldering look before whispering into his ear.

"I have something for you too."

He sits up a little straighter in bed as she slips out the other side and heads into to the kitchen, adjusting her silk robe tightly around herself after abandoning the heat from the bed. She returns with a mischievous glint in her eye, obviously hiding something behind her back as she clambers over him to her side of the bed. How she manages to make clambering sexy he doesn't know but she does, and he's practically bursting with anticipation. After settling back on her side she purses her lips in this ridiculously adorable way and hands him her present.

His face matches the one she wore when she opened her shark charm: a blend of confusion and excitement.

"A jar of jam?"

She takes the jar back off him and opens the lid.

"A jar of jam…. on me."

She seductively opens her silk robes, biting her lip to prevent the giggle she's suppressing from ruining her act. It's damn hard not to laugh though because his face is just priceless. The notion of combining his two favorite things is proving incomprehensible and for a short moment she wonders if his brain actually exploded because he's kind of drooling a little. Luckily for her his brain jump-starts and heads straight back down to his pants as he finally responds.

"Best. Not-anniversary. Ever."

* * *

><p>After sharing a shower and changing the sheets (things got incredibly sticky) they fall asleep with him spooning her. She's exhausted and in that phase of sleep where there's an edge of consciousness, but she's pretty much paralyzed on the edge of slumber.<p>

Which is perfect, because when he murmurs 'I love you' into her ear, she's awake enough to hear him but conceivably asleep enough to not freak-out or have to deal with answering.

She wonders if he planned it this way.

But as he squeezes a little tighter on the grip he has around her waist before nodding off to sleep himself, she can't help but feel completely content.

* * *

><p>She meets his parents. Well, technically she already met them at their wedding, and at their high-school graduation, but this is the first time she's really <em>meeting<em> them - and meeting them as Finn's _girlfriend_. She's nervous as hell because she doesn't do meeting parents, but she's head over heels for this boy, and years of training and dealing in court cases has equipped her to at least pretend she's totally fine.

She loves his parents! They're totally laid-back but welcoming and she loves the dynamic between them. They're a real family and it's nice. Her charm and wit allow her to make a great first impression, and the whole independent, freethinking but educated lawyer thing always scores brownie points. But ultimately what she figures seals the deal for Carole is how obviously happy she's making Finn. Her statistics, credentials and material worth are impressive of course, but it's the strength of pride in Finn's voice as he introduces her as his girlfriend, the way he barely allows her out of affectionate, physical contact all evening and the constant stolen glances between them that don't go unnoticed by a mother. She's certain those are the things that impress mama Hudson.

Sitting around the dinner table listening to one of Burt's slightly inappropriate Nazi jokes, Finn's hand resting innocently on her thigh as she pretends not to notice Carole staring at the two of them with doting adoration and approval, she's can't help but revel in a floating feeling that she could belong here.

And as they say their goodbyes with hugs all round, she feels like his family feel the same as she accidently hears Carole whisper into Finn's ear "Treat her right because you two could give me the most beautiful, slightly-ethnic grandchildren."

* * *

><p>When they get back to her place he's quick to let her know how grateful he is for how perfect she played the evening. It was nothing, and she didn't even have to 'play' anything, but she takes the reward of receiving multiple orgasms from him anyway. The fourth time he makes her come it's so intense that she actually damages her throat from screaming his name.<p>

As they fall asleep he murmurs I love you. And she's starting to feel incredibly guilty for not saying it back. But he just tightens his hold around her in another squeeze of assurance before they both drift off to sleep...


	21. A Party And A PartyPooper

It's Puck's daughter's third birthday and they're all invited (obligated apparently) to attend her superhero costumed themed party (yes, his daughter is as much of a badass as he is).

She's never been thrilled with the notion of dressing up- her attitude is that unless it's for sex it's pretty lame- but she knows how much this means to Puck, and Finn's ridiculously excited so she guesses she can suck it up for one day. After much, much, way too much deliberation on which superhero to go as, Finn finally decides to go with Spiderman only when they get to the rental place they discover the only costumes they have for a guy his size are Chewbacca and Big Bird. His heart literally breaks into a thousand pieces and if he were any other guy she'd think it was fucking pathetic. But it's _her_ guy. So again, she sucks it up and feigns understanding and support.

She actually likes Star Wars; underneath the lasers and the insane looking freaks called characters, she thinks there's actually a pretty epic story in there about forbidden love, greed, grief, anger and redemption, but she doesn't blame him for not wanting to dress up as a big hairy wookie beast. Puck would tease him mercilessly and although there's a glimmer of hope when she suggests she could dress as his counterpart, Princess Leia, they both agree her costume would be incredibly inappropriate for a 3-year old's party, so Chewbacca goes out the window. And while big bird is hilarious, and she manages to get a great picture out of him trying it on, the giant feet matched with Finn's lack of grace is just too high of a safety risk. He goes home empty handed and she actual feels really bad when he starts murmuring how much he hates his stupid height and spends the rest of the afternoon depressed. On her way home from work the next day she stops by Walmart and grabs a ton of green body paint and some purple fabric dye before sneaking her way into his place to grab an old pair of jeans to cut up. And when the day of the party comes she thinks he's the happiest, sexiest Incredible Hulk she's ever seen.

When they get to the party Puck's actually a little jealous that his ripped tank top and bloodied armed GI Joes effort has been out-sexified by a half-naked bed-head Finn-Hulk. Santana's dressed up as Super Woman (because it was the only outfit that wouldn't scar the kids and cause a sex riot amongst the parents but still managed to make her boobs look magnificent), while Brittney's dressed as Cat Woman, although its not as much 'Cat Woman' as a 'cat' woman. Anyway, it's one group picture the 4 of them will all cherish.

The party's great and the kids have a blast and she actually enjoys herself mingling amongst the parents. Puck and Finn are busy having some epic battle in the yard with the kids while Brittney's talking to one of the dads who came dressed up as Garfield and she's just watching it all happen by the side of the buffet table when one of the moms comes up to talk to her.

"Which one's yours?"

"Oh, the giant incredible hulk…" she jokes dryly. "We're friends of Noah's."

She always refers to him as Noah instead of Puck in front of strangers. Looking out to where he's running animatedly with his daughter laughing hysterically while thrown over his shoulder, she thinks he definitely seems more like a Noah right now than a Puck. He's a great dad and both women smile in that agreement.

"Oh, my son – the transformer – hasn't stopped talking about the incredible hulk guy."

"-Oh did he step on your son too. I'm really sorry he didn't mean to he's just really tall and uncoordinated."

"No, he hasn't stopped talking about how 'cool' the incredible hulk guy is. I'm telling you, guys like that, who aren't afraid to actually engage and put effort into entertaining the kids… those are the ones you want to hold on to."

The woman then squeezes Santana's shoulder gently for some kind of dramatic emphasis before leaving to talk to one of the other moms. At first she's completely creeped out. This woman just appeared out of nowhere, offered a dramatic pearl of wisdom like a Morgan Freeman character in a movie and then left. She's looking around for some invisible audience to agree with her about how weird that was, but then she's drawn back into watching Puck and Finn with the kids and the woman's words start to sink in.

Finn's amazing with kids. He's never even met any of them and half of them are already wishing they had him for a dad instead of their own. She thinks it's probably easy for him because he's still a kid himself, but there's just something great about seeing him like this.

She'd never given much thought to kids. She's never really been around them and her parents have always tainted the prospect of a life as a parent. But looking around she decides kids are cute. And the way she puts up with Finn's childish antics makes her think she must have a maternal instinct in her somewhere. But the responsibility and the drama of it all is kind of too overwhelming for her to contemplate the whole thing seriously. There's a pride in knowing her boyfriend can handle it though, and she thinks the Morgan Freeman mom had good advice when she said she should hold on to him. Plus, it's weird, but his body looks even hotter with green body paint and sweat mixed around it.

She's looking around the buffet room to find Brittney when all of a sudden there's a loud yelp from the yard and all of the parents simultaneously whip their heads around in unison to see the commotion. Chorused murmurs of "who's is it?" break out but as Santana darts her eyes around the yard she rolls her eyes at the scene before yelling "it's mine!" and pushing her way through the crowds to reach the Incredible Hulk who's nursing a bumped head, presumably from tripping over a kid again.

* * *

><p>The rest of the afternoon goes smoothly. There's cake, presents and a mini concert from Finn and Puck's band who play a medley of the best superhero theme tunes. It's a total success. And she lets Puck know how proud she is of him for putting the whole thing together before heading home with Brittney and Finn. Britt heads to the airport straight after changing because she's due in L.A to dance in some music video so they say their goodbyes too and then it's just her and Finn. He's sat on the couch, totally worn out and still slightly concussed, but when she comes out her room in a surprise change from her modest Super Woman costume to the slutty Princess Leia costume she went back to rent from the store and starts giving him a strip-tease, he suddenly has all the energy in the world.<p>

There's another routine 'I love you' from Finn as they drift off to sleep. And she can feel the words vibrating through her mind and body but they don't escape her lips. So he receives another routine silence, before giving her his routine squeeze of assurance.

* * *

><p>It's her lunch break but she's sat up at the bar Finn works at because his day shifts are usually insanely boring at she's an awesome girlfriend like that. Finn's educating her on the elderly drunken regulars and the nicknames he's grown accustomed to calling them, while she sits sipping on a fancy alcohol-free cocktail he made up for her and attempting to throw peanuts in his mouth at regular intervals. It's a fun game made even funner by the fact that for every time she misses Finn, she hits the drunk affectionately known as 'Bird-Man' (because he has some kind of parrot sound Tourette's syndrome) and the effect of that is just hilarious. When they run out of peanuts she makes him nip round the back to get some more and although he made her promise to stop throwing them at Bird-Man on purpose, they both know she had her fingers crossed under her lap.<p>

Some drunk douche takes the seat next to her and despite being fairly good looking and of a similar age, it doesn't take a second for her to wish Bird-Man was suddenly sitting there instead.

"Sup. You're like really hot did you know that?"

She can see Finn in the doorway to the back of the bar, and he immediately straightens up from bending over the box of packaged peanuts. He looks at her with his jaw-clenched, like he's ready to tackle the dude across the bar on her signal, but she thinks this could be fun, so she gives him a wink and a sly hand gesture to let him know she's got this.

She turns to the guy and turns on the act.

"Yeah I'm so hot I think I need a drink."

"What will it be?"

"Triple-whiskey… neat." She responds with a flutter of the eyelashes.

"Haha sweet, coming right up baby, yo bar keep. How bout some service yo?" Finn slowly obliges with his jaw still clenched shut. "Triple-whiskey neat and a beer."

The guy slams his money down on the table and turns back to face her while Finn starts getting the drinks. It's lucky his back's turned because the guy starts to lean in a little closer.

"You know, I got a jag parked outside. It's an XKR convertible model. What do you say we finish these drinks and I take you for a spin. Reckon I could show you the ride of your life."

Capital douche. But she smiles and closes her act.

"That sounds ah-mazing… but I don't think my boyfriend would like it much. He'd probably kick your ass..."

"Well where is this boyfriend of yours? Cos I wont tell if you won't."

With impeccable timing, Finn returns with their drinks.

"Here's your drink yo." Finn gestures mockingly. "And for the lady…" he adds placing her drink in front of her.

She smiles and adds a sweet "thanks baby." before grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him over the bar for a hot, heavy and highly inappropriate kiss. They break away with her hand still clinging to the front of his shirt. They guy takes his drink and leaves, and she smooths down the front of Finn's now crumpled shirt before sitting back in her seat with a typical Santana-smirk on her face.

Finn stays leaning over the bar with a sly smile.

"That was kind of mean."

"He's a total douche who shouldn't have been hitting on me."

"Anyone with eyes wants to hit on you. I actually commend him for having the balls to try. Although, yes, he was a douche… You're not gonna drink that are you?" he adds nodding at her free triple-whiskey.

"No. Give it to old Bird-Man douche over there... Do you realize how many douches are in your line of work?"

He laughs as he takes the drink over to 'Bird-Man'. And as he returns to stand with her while drying up some glasses, he starts to think about something.

"Hey, um, I don't know if I ever actually thanked you for, you know, helping me out the gutter and getting me off the drink-"

"-Finn you've thanked me like a thousand times. You're welcome, no big deal." She says nonchalantly, while crunching on the ice from her juice-cocktail.

"No it is, because I used to be one of these douches. I was completely lost before you and you totally saved me. And you're still saving me. Helping me out when I make stupid decisions and kicking my butt in gear when I'm being too much of a dork or too pathetic-"

"-Wrap it up Finn, what are you auditioning for 90210?"

"Case in point. What I'm trying to say is, you're not just my ridiculously hot, beautiful, sexy, scary, bad-ass lawyer girlfriend. You're my hero. And in the words of Rascal Flatts: God bless the broken, foot caused by a fast moving Chevrolet, that led me straight to you."

She smiles. "Dork. I mean, thanks baby." And pulls him back over the bar for another inappropriate kiss which causes Bird-Man to erupt.

She breaks away this time leaving her hands around the back of his neck.

"Oh hush-up Bird-Man I got you a drink."

"Actually, I kind of think that was a squawk of approval." Finn suggests before leaning back in for more.

Eventually they break away for good but as she sits back down he leans further across the bar towards her.

He lifts her chin with his finger so that he can lock his eyes with hers before softly saying, "Hey, I love you."

Now she has no excuse and no escape. And despite feeling the words in her chest desperately trying to make their escape, there's something blocking them from reaching his ears. She loves him. She knows she loves him. But she just can't tell him she loves him.

Luckily it seems to be a day for impeccable timing as Puck suddenly storms into the bar, slightly out of breath, brandishing his biggest smile.

"Oh cool, you're both here -hey Bird-Man- have you heard? Rachel made it!"

"Made what?" Finn asks, his eyes still fixed on Santana who's know looking at the bar top.

"_It_. She made _it_. Broadway! And not just the supporting background roles she's been working. She got the leading role in the anniversary edition of Wicked. And she's given us all tickets to her opening performance. She did it!

Suddenly the dark clouds that made no sense this morning given the run of sunny weather they'd had recently, start to make perfect sense...


	22. The Green Witch

It's not that she's not happy for Rachel, because she really is. Despite not being in contact with the girl for 5 years they parted ways on good terms, and she's always knew she'd end up with a leading role and the spotlight she deserved.

It's just, Finn. He has to go. All those years of loving her he couldn't miss out on her finally achieving her dreams. And he wants to go. And she can't really hate him for that. She doesn't. It's just the cynical side of her thinks it would be just her luck for her to spend months helping him back to the best version of himself even breaking down her own barriers to do so, for Rachel to sneak back in and steal the rewards. She's threatened. She's pretty sure she trumps Rachel is every attribute, but Finn and Rachel have history. And she can't compete with that. But there's nothing strong enough to protest about so she puts on a brave face and heads to New York with Puck and Finn.

* * *

><p>The show's amazing. Rachel's amazing. She gets a standing ovation after the first act after singing 'Defying Gravity' and Santana even has a tear in her eye of pride, awe, nostalgia, she doesn't even know what. Puck's choking back tears too and she thinks its sweet how excited he's been all week, and how this is the first time he's worn a suit out of personal choice. Finn's expression is difficult to read. He's clearly in awe but there's an odd quietness about him and not being able to understand that tears her up a bit inside.<p>

After the show they're invited to an after-show party in a bar just opposite the hotel they're staying at. It's fancy as hell and as the place fills with actresses and models and managers and important people like that, the three of them start to feel a little out of place. Although actually its just Finn, because Puck feels like he died and went to heaven and Santana's convinced she's got enough swagger to take on anyone of these 'bitches'. Finn's definitely looking uncomfortable though, and it starts to make more obvious sense why he and Rachel never made it out here. Santana affectionately takes his hand and starts making small talk about how great this particular homemade brand of beer is from the bar to try and take his mind of everything. It works, but just as he begins to feel comfortable and bends down to kiss her cheek to thank her for that, Rachel finally makes her suitably dramatic entrance. She's greeted by thunderous applause and an extremely loud wolf-whistle from Puck and then she's sucked into the crowds of important people.

He's looking over at her in the crowds with a frustratingly blank expression. One thing she's always loved about Finn is how he's always been open enough for her to know what he's thinking. She's usually the closed book. And she doesn't like this role reversal so she comes out and just asks him.

"What are you thinking?"

His poker face softens slightly when he see's her concerned expression but he answers with a blank tone.

"I'm wondering where the guy is she dumped me for."

Not quite the answer she wanted but understandable. Puck chips in,

"They only lasted a month. Apparently the guy was a tool."

He processes this information and eventually his face softens completely into a small smile. He relaxes, and suddenly it hits her that all that nervous brooding was in anticipation of seeing the guy she left him for, not for seeing her. She's now able to relax a little however the impending confrontation with Rachel and having to explain her new relationship status with Finn is still making her a little on edge. She shouldn't be worried because this isn't high-school and its not as if she stole Finn away from her or is using him to screw with her again. But she just has no idea how this whole thing's going to play out.

They hear Rachel laugh from the other side of the room and small smiles break out on all of their faces as Finn drains the last of his beer and nods towards the celebrated Broadway star.

"She deserves all this."

They all nod in agreement and Santana offers a small "Yeah." As they continue to look on at her in the crowds.

"Babe you want another drink?" Finn offers her.

"Sure, thanks."

He turns to leave for the bar before stopping in his tracks and turning back to look at her. She's still looking on towards Rachel, her arms and legs gently crossed as she stands clutching on to her purse with her shoulders slightly raised. It's her turn to appear out of her comfort zone, and now that he's awakened from the dread of meeting the 'guy', he finally notices how awkward Santana must be feeling. He places his hands on her bare shoulders from behind, making her jump slightly, before placing a tender kiss to the side of her temple.

She turns around to face him.

"What was that for?"

"Because I … just because."

He gives her a wink and she raises her eyebrow in fake suspicion before they share honest smiles of happiness as he finally leaves her for the bar.

She relaxes a little further.

Puck refuses to wait anymore so he pushes his way through the crowds to claim his turn in congratulating her. She laughs out loud at the sight before realizing she's standing by herself in a room with strangers. After they have their little conversation Puck veers Rachel towards her and she inhales a deep breath before releasing a huge grin matched by Rachel who starts power walking towards her with her arms outstretched.

"Oh my god Santana, it's so good to see you! You look amazing!" Rachel states sincerely practically assaulting her with a hug.

"Aw thank you. You too and you sounded amazing. My hat's off to you Rachel you completely blew me away and I'm so happy for you. I know we used to make fun of you for it but all those years of determination have obviously paid off and you really, you deserve all this, so congratulations." She's being so genuine it sort of makes her feel sick. So she can't help herself… "Plus you really suit being a big nosed green witch…. I'm kidding! That one was for old time's sake."

Rachel laughs in relief (after temporarily looking like she'd just been kicked in the gut) and seems to be genuinely touched by Santana's congratulations.

"Oh well thank you Santana that's so nice, I'm gonna hug you again." (She does and as they do she rolls her eyes at the face Pucks making standing behind Rachel.) "So what about you, I hear you're a big lawyer now."

"Guilty as charged."

It's a lame joke that she doesn't think even qualifies as a joke but Rachel, finds it hysterical. She always knew the girl had an odd, easy sense of humor, but she's literally crying and half hyperventilating. Santana's just looking at her with disbelief, like she's witnessing a mental breakdown or something, and comes to the conclusion that Rachel must be half-drunk because what normal, sober person laughs for 3 solid minutes at something like that.

Finn comes back with their beers and Rachel's still laughing.

"What the hell did you do to her?" he asks as she takes the beer from him shaking her head in continued disbelief.

Of course the sight of Finn snaps her out of her hysteria and without warning she erupts into a shriek and awkwardly flings her arms around him.

"Finn! You came."

As he breaks away from her hug he leaves a hand on her shoulder that Santana begins to scrutinize.

"Of course I came. Rachel, I don't even know what to say to you right now. You were incredible. I'm so proud of you. You did it. I mean nobody doubted for a second that you wouldn't, but you did it. You're living your dream, it's…" (He really is lost for words.) "Congratulations."

An overwhelmed smile appears on Rachel's lips that again Santana begins to scrutinize.

"Thanks Finn. You deserve some of the credit though, I mean you've always believed in me and helped me get through the bad times.., all of you guys."

Puck raises his beer with a grin but Finn just shoots her down.

"Come on Rach, we don't deserve any credit for this. This is all down to you and your talent and you."

"I'm so happy you came. And you look great by the way. Compared to, you know the last time I saw you." He shifts uncomfortably in his feet in embarrassment but Rachel just turns her attention to Santana with a 'Stepford' smile that sends a chill down her spine. "I guess he has you to thank for that."

There's no sarcasm or bitterness in her voice but there's just something off about the way she delivers that line that makes Santana's eyes widen and her cheeks flush. She looks at Finn who's now lost in his awkwardness but before she's forced to come up with some response that addresses the situation, some man appears at Rachel's side and makes a weird signal.

"Oh sorry, I have to go mingle, but don't go anywhere because there's someone I want you to meet, just enjoy and I'll be back!"

She does come back and the four of them manage to strike up regular 3 minute conversations before she's dragged off to 'mingle' and each time she returns she seems to be getting more and more wasted. She makes Puck and Finn's day however when she introduces them to her friend Neil, who's a producer at this independent record label looking for new bands. The three of them talk for a good half hour and Santana thinks she see's them offered his business card before Rachel comes back over to her at the bar for another round of conversation. She tires of the suspense and so she decides to bite the bullet and address the Finn situation.

"I think it's going well." Rachel notes looking towards the boys.

"Looks that way. You know that Finn and I are dating."

It comes out quickly, and as more of an accused statement than a question but Rachel seems unfazed.

"Yes. Puck told me. He's been very informative about progressions in Finn's life and you of course have been a big one."

Rachel orders another drink and after taking a few sips while the two stand in silence, she decides to further her input.

"I think it's nice. The two of you."

There's a hint of passive-aggressiveness in her tone that Santana doesn't like one bit.

"What do you mean nice?" she asks slowly adding emphasis on the final word.

"Well, you know. How you found a way to reconnect with a past you so obviously missed and he found someone to pull him out of the gutter. It's nice that you were able to use each other for that."

Finn and Puck make their way to standing behind Santana and they can immediately tell from the way Santana's folded her arms that a fight's about to break out.

"You think we're just using each other?"

"No.. Well, yes of course you are, but hey it's not a bad thing. You've been lucky to have found each other at your times of need, but I mean, come on, you two don't really fit do you… You're both great people but it just doesn't quite, you know… In the long term anyway... I encourage you to try and prove me wrong, but no point pretending this looks any different."

The polite, innocent way in which Rachel issues this comment riles Santana more than if she had just delivered it with the venom and bitterness it obviously derived, and while the devil on her shoulder is yelling for her to go Lima Heights on the bitches' ass, she can feel Finn standing by her other and she's suddenly aware of the room and the occasion. She's too angry to even deal with this, so she just smoothens down the front of her dress, offers one last congratulation to Rachel and tells Finn she'll meet him back at the hotel before making the most dignified and merciful exit she's ever made in her life.

"Why did you do that?" Finn asks in a hushed but direct tone.

"Uck.. and you guys always said I was the drama queen. Come on I was just pointing out the obvious."

She's either completely ignorant or playing a really good game but Finn doesn't buy her innocent act one bit.

"No you weren't, I know exactly what you were doing and you have no right. You know, any other guy probably wouldn't have the guts to come here after what happened between us, but I came because I was so happy to see you happy. Why can't you be the same for me?"

She drops the innocent act and gets down to it.

"Finn I'm happy that you've found someone who makes you happy. Santana's great at that I'm sure but I'm just looking out for you. What happens when she gets bored of you, or too embarrassed by you… she's just going to move on like she always did in high school."

He leans in closer to her so he can speak in an aggressive whisper rather than stand there, yelling and drawing attention towards them.

"Ok first of all thanks for calling me a boring embarrassment, and second of all, you don't know her. Not anymore, she's different. And so am I. We grew up. We're not, stuck in some fantasy world where everything's perfect and straight out of a fairytale like how you try and live, and like how you used to try and make _us_ live." Rachel rolls her eyes but Finn just continues. "We're perfectly imperfect so you can save your breath trying to undermine her and shoot holes at us. Because at the end of the day _this_ Finn Hudson is in love with _that_ Santana Lopez, and if _this_ Rachel Berry can't accept that, then I don't need you in my life anymore."

She takes in what he says and concedes her whole act.

"Okay I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be undermining I just care about you Finn." She offers with sincerity. "You deserve to find somebody that loves you the way you love them and you can't blame me for doubting that Santana's capable of that. It's great that you love her but do you know she feels the same? Has she told you?"

He stumbles.

"Not exactly. But I know. She makes me feel like she loves me and that's a million times better than 3 little words people repeat all the time. And it's not just with sex either, but like how she looks at me and the things she does and how she worries about me and how she doesn't, stab me with her fork anymore when I try and have a bite of the food we're sharing… This is real Rach. She and I are real."

Rachel gives this little pout as a sign of admitting defeat and then she tilts her head with a small smile as she looks at his face.

"Well then I really am sorry and I am 100% genuinely happy for both of you. And I'm proud at how you've found your feet again."

He gives a little nod and smile of forgiveness and they share a moment of real closure before Rachel takes another sip of her drink.

"And just so you know you couldn't really ever cut me out of your life because I've kept some of your hair as a DNA sample for when cloning technology becomes accessible to humans and I have an excellent plastic surgeon in the mean time who has told me your bone structure will be easy to recreate on a willing participant."

They both laugh because they both know she's not even kidding. She pulls him in for another less-awkward hug.

"Thank you for coming."

He smiles.

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world."

* * *

><p>He leaves Puck with Rachel and heads back to the hotel to find her. He doesn't know what to expect as he opens the door to their room but he's braced for the worse.<p>

"Hey. You're packing already?" he notes as he sees her calmly walking around the room, putting everything back into the suitcase.

She's calm but her voice breaks slightly when she tries to talk. He's stupid enough to think she's too proud to have been crying.

"Yup. No harm in being ready. In fact we might as well just head for the airport as soon as you're done. Makes more sense to hang around there than here don't you think."

"Well, what about Rachel?"

She stops what she's doing and inhales before asking a weighted question.

"What about Rachel?"

"Well, her party is still going on"

"Well, first of all it's not _her _party it's a party for the show that I'm pretty sure they have every week and second of all she's getting trashed out of her face so she probably won't even remember we were here, oh I'm sorry she won't remember I was here, of course she'll remember you were here seeing as she's forever and always obsessed with you and thirdly, do you love her?"

There's a moment of stunned silence from him.

"What? Is that a joke?"

She goes back to packing, and although her voice breaks even further as her eyes begin to water, there's an anger in her tone that he figures she's focusing on to keep herself from completely crumbling.

"I don't blame you.. I mean, what she said was right. You became interested in me because you needed me and now you and her are back in each other's lives and feelings have been stirred and I…. I have seen this story played out a thousand times between the two of you from when we were in high school and I am _not_ going to be the Quinn in the grown-up edition. So if you love her, then please, just go now. I'm giving you a scape-goat."

Jaw-clenched he strides across the room with purpose and forces her to stop packing and look at him.

"I love _you_. And yeah I need you. But I don't love you because I need you; I need you because I love you. I know what Rachel said was mean and I know it's gotten to you but she's wrong and she knows it. She apologized, and if you go back to the party I bet she'd apologize to you too. Truth is the reason she said those things, why she's surprised we're together is because she knows you're out of my league. Yeah you can be mean, and judgmental and really, really difficult sometimes but you are so smart, and funny and unpredictable and inspiring and you are without doubt the most beautiful human being I have ever seen in my life to an unbelievably flawless degree. You are _so_ out of my league and you don't deserve to be with a moron like me."

It's an honest speech, and it's effective as damage control, but she's still determined not to crumble and her act of defiance brings out feelings of frustration he's been trying to overlook.

"But I told myself to stop with the self-pity and doubt because you're probably out of every guy's league so as long as I made you happy I told myself I could be selfish and keep you. But clearly I don't make you happy because I've told you I love you 7 times now. And you'd rather ignore me and accuse me of loving someone else than say it back. Rachel's not a scape-goat for me she's a scape-goat for you. So there." He adds aggressively pointing to the door. "There's your exit. And I am standing here, begging you not to take it, just like I have for the last 10 months since we first slept together. But it's your choice."

She's rooted to the spot. Everything he just said was right. She crumbles. A tear streaks down her face and she reacts quickly to catch it but another automatically follows and she's just left standing there helpless. He deserves some big epic speech in return where she tells him she wants to be with him and she needs him in her life for endless reasons and that she loves him more than she's ever love anyone in her life.

But she just stands there hating herself for not being able to.

"If I say it, I can't take it back, and then if something goes wrong I can't pretend that I don't care because I'll have said that I do... I'm sorry, I want to say it and I know that I will, I just need more time."

She thinks those are the crappiest collection of words that have ever come out of her mouth. And she's a lawyer for fucks sake.

She expects him to leave and inside she's screaming.

But instead he just takes a step towards her and begins delicately wiping the tears away from her face with his thumbs. She buries her face in his chest and he grips her closer with one hand gently soothing the back of her hair. He kisses the top of her head as she begins pulling herself back together and simply answers.

"That's all I needed to hear."


	23. Missing You

Things have been a little rough since New York. They both agreed to put the whole thing behind them but despite putting on brave faces there's still this weird tension between them.

She tries her hardest to do things that show him how much she cares, since she lacks the ability to tell him and yeah, she's making him happy, but she knows there's a clock ticking on how long she can substitute the actions for the words.

It doesn't help that he's been super busy lately with the band. Rachel's producer friend Neil advised them to get a demo record together to negotiate management, which means he's constantly rehearsing with the band or working double shifts to cover the studio expenses. She offered to help with the money but the guys all agreed it was more 'rock and roll' to graft for the money themselves than to have the drummer's 'sugar-momma' lawyer pay for them.

The demo goes out and they get picked up by a manager. They boys fly back over to New York for an official meeting and come home with a negotiated 4-month trial-publicity tour across the country. When he breaks the news that he's going out of state for 4-months she figures it's the nail in the coffin for their relationship but before she has time to really panic about it he sits her down and explains how they're going to make the long-distance thing work. He tells her that he'll call her every day and that he'll figure out how to use skype (because even though 5 year olds understand the concept Finn Hudsons can't) and that Puck managed to negotiate a deal where they'll be flown home during a week off in Washington so that he could see his daughter. Breaking it up into two 2-month stretches makes it seem a lot less daunting and the fact that he'll be home for their first Christmas together helps her to remain positive but its still a giant obstacle for them and she doesn't think it could've come at worse timing...

* * *

><p>He doesn't call as often as he should. Or maybe he does and they keep crossing paths - she did tell him not to leave voice mails because she doesn't want to fall into the trap of having a relationship with an answering machine, so it's possible. Whatever. She knows how busy he is and she refuses to be a clingy girlfriend in constant need of assurance but she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss him like fuck. It doesn't help that he's terrible at phone sex. It would be cute and she thinks she'd have a lot of fun teaching him how to get better but the problem is the guys aren't exactly in the nicest or roomiest of hotels and the others act like a group of 14 year olds, playing pranks on him, making off-putting noises and banging on the walls whenever they know what he's up to.<p>

Brittney comes back for a week and it's a great distraction. They go shopping, have movie marathons and throw one heck of a rager despite it being just the two of them. And yes she gets drunk which makes her even hornier and miss him more than ever but at least she's not alone. But Brittney leaves again. And the loneliness resumes...

* * *

><p>It's been about a month since she he left and she last saw him. She's sitting at home sorting through some paper work and sipping on her second glass of wine (because beer just isn't strong enough to take the edge of these days). She takes a break from staring down at the table and as her eyes fleet around the room they suddenly fixate on a framed picture of her and Finn from the time he took her on a picnic over in Kenton Hills.<p>

It rained the whole time they were there and of course Finn forgot to bring umbrellas or coats or anything useful so that almost basically became known as the day they drowned to death eating sausage rolls. She remembers how miserable she was at that point and how she threw one of her most memorable strops at being made to look like a drowned rat while he just laughed his ass off. Things picked up however when he told her he thought she looked ridiculously hot and led her into the woods where he pinned her against a tree and gave her one of the best fucks of her life as the rain continued to fall down around them. Finn took the picture soon after to commemorate the occasion and then made her display it proudly in her living room so that if anyone came over, noticed the picture and inquired as to why they both looked so happy, she could tell them because my boyfriend just fucked me senseless in the rain.

She smiles at the picture and mindlessly runs a hand through her hair. Gulping down the rest of her wine it really starts to hit her how much she misses him.

It's the little things she misses the most. His voice, his scent, the giant space he takes up on the bed, the feeling of his skin on hers, the way his eyes would light up when they looked into hers and the proud look on his face every time she took his hand or kissed him in public. She misses laughing at his dorkiness and teasing him for it despite being completely endeared on the inside. She misses seeing his clothes scattered on her bedroom door and how cute he used to look tucking into his childish breakfast cereal in his various superhero themed pants on Saturday mornings, the way he'd break into song in the shower, the way he'd try to not seem confused but completely interested in her favorite movies and the way he felt when she'd curl herself up against his chest.

She misses anything and everything about him and it's really driving her crazy.

She starts crying. And not just crying but full on red cheeked, puffy eyed, unsteady breathing crying. It's stupid. It's so fucking stupid and she's being too pathetic to even hate herself for it. But there's just this hollow pit in her chest that's telling her she's lost him and that it's over. She near broke his heart in New York and now he's travelling across the country with the burden of being stuck in a relationship with a girl back home who won't tell him she loves him.

She picks up her phone. Enough with the moping and the drama, she's Santana fucking Lopez and she doesn't sit at home crying over guys with empty bottles of wine on the table. She gets what she wants in life and what she wants is the man she loves. Because yes she does love him and screw her own damn insecurities or barriers or whatever the hell it is that have been stopping her from letting him know how much she wants him.

He answers on the second ring.

"Babe hey, sorry I was just about to call you once I got into my room. We just arrived in the hotel lobby, oh my god San the bellboy fell down these stairs with one of those trolley cart things and it ended up running him over, you would have laughed your ass off. Speaking of asses how is your fine, sweet ass?... Actually you know what I don't think I can pull that kind of phrase off because I just sounded like a weird perv-"

"-Finn shut up a second I need to tell you something."

Her sudden resolve and boldness faltered slightly at the sound of his voice and he immediately picks up on her vulnerable state.

"Babe what's wrong? Is everything alright you sound like you've been crying…"

She takes a deep breath but despite pacing quickly around the room and using hand gestures to motion her brain into delivering quickly, it's a stumbled start.

"I just… I wanted to…"

"Santana you're starting to freak me out. What's happened?"

"I just…"

She lets out one final laugh at how difficult she's being before closing her eyes and letting it out with more genuine emotion and emphasis than she thinks any girl in the world has ever managed.

"I love you."

Even through the phone she can tell he's stopped in his tracks.

"Are you drunk?"

It's quite the anti-climax to the weeks she's been building up to this, but she can't help but laugh.

"No jag-weed I'm not drunk!"

There's another pause. But when he responds she can tell he's teasing her.

"I'm sorry could you repeat what you just said? My ears must be screwed up after the gig last night because I swear you just said-"

"- I love you?"

"Yeah. That… Sorry could you maybe repeat one more time because I'm still hearing something that just doesn't sound like something you'd say-"

"-You know just because we're 800 miles apart doesn't mean I can't hire someone to show up at your hotel and kick you in the nuts for me."

She relaxes onto the couch smiling wildly like a thirteen year old. She can hear him smiling too, if that's even possible.

"Just, once more."

She exaggerates a sigh and goes for a more seductive approach.

"Finnocence… I love you."

"…Okay that time you ruined it by using that stupid nickname you know I hate-"

"Oh good god you know what I must be drunk because otherwise I wouldn't be on the phone confessing my love to such a motherfuc-"

"Honey, I love you too."

She's been lucky enough to hear it so many times but this time it's like she finally understands it.

"You do?"

"More than I can stand."

She smiles because she knows the feeling.

"Good."

They talk on the phone for the rest of the night. And when she finally falls asleep it's the best she's had in a long time...


	24. Betrayal

The band finished the last of their bar gigs in New York and she knows he has the night off so she's sat at her laptop waiting for him to respond to her skype request. She blew off her autumn office party for this so she's going to make him make it worth her time. She's casually browsing the Internet, checking out some online stores and celebrity gossip sites before she turns her attention to twitter. She goes on Pucks and notices a disturbing string of tweets between him and Rachel so she goes onto Rachel's page to check it out further. That's when she finds the picture. Tweeted 7 minutes ago _'partay withs my FAvorite rock and roll boyssss!' _with a twitpic of Finn drunk, shirtless and grinning lopsidedly with Rachel Berry's manhands around his neck in the middle of some kind of hotel booze-up.

She keeps her cool.

Finn wouldn't be that stupid. It's obviously one of Berry's set ups. Still, she finds herself hounding the skype invitation button like no tomorrow. She knew Rachel was planning on showing up to one of their gigs but Finn failed to mention any party.

Fuck it. He's not responding so she rings his cell. When Andy picks it up instead of Finn she starts losing her temper.

"Andy why are you answering Finn's phone? Where the fuck is he?"

"Woah. I dunno Samander, this phone was on the floor and it started making ringing noises so I picked it up, chill out I'll go find him for you."

Everyone at the party's being really loud so can hear everything through the phone and she's getting more and more pissed off by the second. Andy starts banging on Finn's door and she prepares herself for the whirlwind of abuse she's going to throw at him.

"Duuuuude! Finn are you in there?"

It's a woman's voice that responds. And Santana's left paralyzed on the other end of the line when she recognizes its Rachel's.

"Go away Andy Pandy. Banging's only allowed on this side of the door!" There's a burst of laughter followed by a frivolous yelp and Santana practically shatters the screen of her iphone from hanging up so harshly.

He's having sex with Rachel...

She feels sick and numb and fuming at the same time. He's fucking cheating on her with Rachel fucking Berry.

There's just, so many emotions and she doesn't know how to handle any of them.

Fuck.

Without thinking she grabs her keys and purse and a bottle of vodka from the cupboard, and storms out to find a cab to take her to the party.

* * *

><p>She's drunk within half an hour and her friends start to show concern but she refuses to need it. Patrick (the guy she went on a date with last year) offers to take her home but she's not ready to leave. She's never been this angry. Never. And throwing in absolute heartbreak and volumes of alcohol into the mix makes for one dangerous Santana Lopez.<p>

She calls him up. Nobody answers so she leaves one hell of a drunken explicit voice mail.

"Finn fucking Hudson you fucking asshole. You're a fucking asshole. My god you're such a fu…. How could you do this! How the fuck could you do this to me! I gave everything to you, I tried making myself a better fucking person and I jumped off that stupid, cliff shit you made me jump and you promised you wouldn't let me… you're a dick. You're just a selfish manwhore dick and you and her deserve each other. Fucking Berry, and letting me hear over the phone. I knew you were gonna do this. God you… and I love… don't ever, talk to me again I don't want to see you ever again!"

* * *

><p>It's been 3 days since she left him that voicemail. He's tried calling her back 74 times but she's ignored every call.<p>

She's never been this conflicted. One minute heartbroken, one minute angry as hell, next minute confused and then back to heartbroken before angry again.

She calls in sick for work and just spends the day driving aimlessly around the city, trying to find some clarity. What she finds when she gets home however, is a rented pick-up truck with Finn asleep in the driving seat. Seeing him in the flesh, she's no longer conflicted. Anger takes the main stage.

She creeps out of her car, walks over to the open window of his truck and leans in to release the hand brake. She beeps his horn as he starts to roll back and he just about manages to regain control before being pulverized by traffic. After a full recovery he jumps out the truck nervously and she folds her arms as she prepares to enter battle-mode.

"That was kind of dangerous." He begins flustered.

"No, dangerous would've been me throwing my lighter into your gas tank and watching you burn."

His eyes widen with genuine fear but instead of watching him squirm she decides to move whatever this is along as quickly as possible.

"You drove down here from Michigan?"

"Yeah well they wouldn't pay for personal flights so… Can I come up?"

"No."

"Why haven't you been returning my calls?"

She scoffs. "Please tell me you're not that fucking dumb."

"Look I don't remember much of what happened the other night, but I've kind of put it together from what Andy told me and your voicemail but just let me explain-"

"What's to explain?" She asks sarcastically. "It's simple, you go away for 6 weeks, barely call me until I call you and tell you that I love you, and then 6 days later you have sex with your psycho-ex girlfriend. Nothing confusing about that! Oh and I got to hear it over the phone and see a delightful twitpic which by the way I think the two of you should use for the announcement pages when Rachel no doubt posts about your impending marriage!"

"Babe I swear I never-"

"-And the reason why I haven't used that very same wonderful picture for my own post in the obituary page after murdering both of you in cold blood, is because I have accepted that you are heartless, immature piece of crap and I have moved on."

She's showing more emotion then she planned and she's already fed up of talking to him. Plus for the first time, his lost puppy-dog expression is just angering her further. He doesn't get the hint and pursues in desperation.

"No, listen. We're not breaking up over something as stupid as this. You're mad, I get it, but nothing happened, I know you don't want-"

"-I slept with Patrick!"

It escapes her mouth like a bullet.

And it strikes him like a bullet.

He's dumbfounded. "What?"

She shrugs. "Two can play the lets get drunk and sleep with other people game."

He shouldn't get to make her feel guilty; but the way he just stands there, absorbing the news as his heart breaks in front of her; she can't help but feel evil in her destruction.

Without another word he gets back in the truck and speeds away into the distance.

Screw him. He started it. And now it's over.

* * *

><p>The next morning she gets a phone call from Puck. She's really not in the mood but she knows he wont stop calling until she answers.<p>

"You slept with someone else! That's cold San, real cold."

"I was just evening the playing field."

"He didn't sleep with Rachel… I did."

"Nice try. I saw the picture she posted and then I called Finn's phone and Andy answered and I heard her from Finn's room."

"What? Andy is a fucking drunken douche. I don't know why he had Finn's phone, or where Finn even was at this point, but whatever you or Andy heard wasn't her and Finn. I was in there with Rachel. We couldn't use my room because a couple of friends she brought to the party were busy using it. That picture she tweeted must've been her asking Finn's permission for us to use his room because those were the only 10 minutes she talked to him all night."

She doesn't believe him but her heart starts racing at 100mph.

"Bullshit. He wouldn't just give permission for Rachel to sleep with you. Quit trying to cover for him or I'll put you on my douche list as well."

"Fuck sake Lopez you really think I would cover for him? Finn's my boy but I'd knock him half way to China if he ever did that to you. For a lawyer you suck at noticing the facts you know that! It was _me_ with Rachel and yes, he _did_ give permission because he's over her. And he's over her because he's fucking head over heels in love with you. I promise you. He didn't do anything."

She's reeling.

"But.. I thought."

"Yeah I know. But you got it wrong, and now we've had to lock Finn is his room to stop him self-destructing in the bar downstairs. He's heartbroken San."

It all slots into place. Her heart's now beating like a hammer and her lungs start serving as a black hole, sucking in all the air.

He didn't cheat on her. But she sure as hell cheated on him.

After enough silence Puck tries to offer a piece of hope for the fucked up situation.

"Look, we're coming home next week. I'll try talking to him and maybe he'll have calmed down by the time we get back. Maybe the two of you can work this shit out."

She cries herself to sleep that night as the regret starts eating away at her and the photo stilled memory of the way he looked at her before speeding off in his truck is stuck on her brain.

Why did was she so damn childish she had to get revenge?

Why was she such a bitch?

Why did she always fuck everything up…


	25. Touché

It's her turn to make the calls and be ignored by every single one of them.

She sees her betrayal everywhere; friends, work, her apartment. Everything in a life at the moment serves as a constant reminder of what she did. As if she could forget without the universe reminding her every second anyway.

She thinks about tracking him down to see him, like he attempted to do with her. But she has no clue where they are and Puck won't tell her so she's forced to just sit and wait for them to get home. It sucks.

* * *

><p>At the end of the week she gets a text from Puck.<p>

_**We're back… kind of. Finn's gone to Lima to stay at his moms. He told me not to tell you but I guess I owe you for sleeping with Rachel and causing this mess in the first place. Good luck x**_

She panics. She's cheated before, (back in high school she cheated a lot!) and she's done her fair share of hurting people but she's new to the whole desperately-trying-to-fix-things thing. She decides to give him a couple of days to let the tour catch up with him but there's no way she's not going up to Lima to see him. She doesn't love the idea of having to face the Hudson-Hummel family like this, but she'll do it if that's what it takes to see him.

* * *

><p>She drives up in the evening, hoping that if she gets there late enough he'll think twice before telling her to take a hike in the darkness. It's manipulation but she needs to fix things with him.<p>

She's relieved when she sees his car on the drive, and even more relieved when she notices the empty parking spot where Burt's car should be.

She composes herself while the doorbell rings and she can see his silhouette approaching to answer it. She feels like she could throw up or explode at any second, and she has no idea what she's going to say but when he opens the door her mind goes completely blank and her body goes numb so it wouldn't have mattered much if she came prepared anyway.

He answers the door in an old flannel shirt and some sweats. She can immediately spot the bags under his eyes and the semi-closed up scars on his right knuckles. He looks like shit. So she tells him.

"You look like shit."

She can't help it. It's a weird compulsion. She shakes her head in immediate disgust with herself. What a ridiculously fucking stupid and inappropriate thing to say to him.

Luckily she thinks he's too stunned to have heard her because all he says is

"I'm gonna kill Puck."

They stand there looking at each other for a while and the fact that he hasn't slammed the door in her face yet gives her a small slither of confidence.

"Can I come in?"

He scoffs and adds ironically, "Please don't tell me you're that fucking dumb."

It's exactly what she said to him when he showed up at her place. Touché.

"Please, we need to talk."

He sighs before standing aside to let her in. (Thank god she's fighting with a nice guy.)

He's not going to talk first, that's obvious. And she's still getting her brain together so she just awkwardly asks,

"Where are your parents?"

"Out. It's their anniversary."

He speaks in monotone as he grabs a bottle of Jim Beam from the kitchen and refills his glass in the living room. She eyes him condemningly because the bottle is already half empty and he fills his glass to the brim but as he notices her look he just puts the bottle down and starts necking the drink. "You have no right to judge me right now."

There's a bitterness in his voice and movements that shock her. Not because she wasn't expecting it, just because it's a weird exhibition from him. Her composure breaks and everything comes out rushed and emotional.

"I was hurt ok. I thought you hurt me. You can't blame me for thinking-"

"-What. That I'd cheat on you with Rachel? You said it yourself, 6 days prior you told me you loved me and I'd been saying it to you for months so of course I'd go and cheat on you! Nothing confusing about that right."

He's throwing everything back in her face. It's a clever tactic that she'd admire if she weren't on the receiving end.

"That's exactly why I thought you did. Besides the shirtless picture and you not answering your phone and her yelling that she's having sex in your room I was paranoid ok. I thought she got in your head after her show, and between me taking forever to say I love you back and you hardly calling me after going away for 2 months, it made perfect sense that you would."

He starts to get angry.

"I hardly called you because it was too fucking hard, it was like torture!"

"Oh great, well that's great to hear!" She scoffs with sarcasm.

"Urgh, why do you always jump to the wrong- …it was torture because speaking to you on the phone for 5 minutes wasn't enough. Every time I spoke to you I had to hang up and I got to remind myself that you were miles away and that it would be months before I could see you again!"

"So you preferred not to talk to me at all? I was going out of my fucking mind. How can you blame me for being insecure when you were selfish enough to-"

"I don't blame you for being insecure I blame you for having sex with another dude!"

"I was angry and hurt and drunk and it didn't-"

"Well you know what, I was pretty drunk when you accused me of sleeping with Rachel and you weren't prepared to forgive me so what do you really expect me to do with you?"

He's got her there. She struggles to argue her case so she just hits him with pure emotional honesty.

"Finn, I made a mistake. A huge fucking mistake. The biggest mistake I've ever made in my life and it makes me feel sick every time I think about it. It was just revenge it doesn't say anything about how I feel about you."

"Revenge makes it even worse! Because that means you wanted to hurt me and make me feel like this-"

"Yeah because that was how I was feeling when I thought you did it with her!"

A lump forms at the back of her throat and a light tear falls down her cheek as they take a break to regain themselves.

Pulling herself back together she takes a step forward towards him. And for the first time in weeks they share eye contact.

"I love you Finn. I don't want to hurt you. I just, I need you to forgive me, please. How can I make it up to you? Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

He slowly shakes his head and looks away as she takes another step closer.

"I don't know Santana."

"I made a mistake."

She's now in touching distance, and as he turns his face back towards hers he has to keep his eyes closed for a few more seconds of courage before looking back into hers. And then in a quiet, broken voice he asserts,

"I think you should go."

"Finn …" she whispers as tears slowly and helplessly streak down her face.

Their feet are now touching and she searches his face for forgiveness but he just looks away again.

"You need to go Santana."

She can see his heart pulsating in his neck. She steadies her hands as she slowly moves them towards his chest. After hovering them there for a while she moves them up to hover over his face. With a low whisper that's enough to interrupt his breathing, she pleads, "You just, I just need you to…" And with that her hands tenderly make contact with his face as she gently pulls him down towards her. He lets his defenses go as she starts to softly kiss him. It feels so fucking good. His hands find her waist and he begins to kiss back with more passion but as she gains full confidence and uses her tongue to lick at his upper lip he pushes her away, aware that he shouldn't have given in.

He's frustrated with himself for letting her pull him in like that.

"Don't. Stop it. God, you think you can just show up, say a few words, batter your eyelashes and win me over?" It wasn't an intended ploy but she's made to feel embarrassed for it. His frustration takes an even bitter turn. "Although I guess that worked with Patrick. And the countless other guys in your life. Open your legs and they bow at your feet right…"

She's stunned. His eyes accidently reveal themselves to be slightly apologetic ant the sound of his own harsh words but the rest of him clenches in an attempt to stand firm. She doesn't like this side of him. That was a low blow and whether she deserved it or not she hates the way the words sounded on his tongue. She's at a complete loss.

'Fuck you. You know what you should count yourself lucky that I ever opened them for you in the first place. Do you remember what you were like before I found you? Mr, living out my car because I'm too occupied with self-pity to do anything but drink and beat the crap out of people! Get off your high horse Finn because you're not perfect and you'll be lucky to find someone to put up with all your childish shit."

She brushes past him towards the exit but now he decides he's not ready for her to leave.

"Yeah well good luck to you too in finding someone who's gonna put up with someone as difficult and conceited as you!"

Asshole.

"Yeah well, I'm surprised you even know what conceited means…"

"Oh of course, bring out the insult canons so you can deflect anyone from actually getting past the drawbridge and finding out who you really are!"

"Oh bring out the lame metaphors so you can make yourself seem noble and sensitive!"

Her blood's reached maximum boiling point as evident by her flushed cheeks and she just wants to leave so she can lock herself in the car and scream. He's just as riled up as she is and it's surprising how well he's holding his own against her.

"God why do you always have to-" he exclaims fisting his hands through his air as he struggles to finish his sentence.

"What." She yells back fiercely.

He takes a step towards her in desperation. "Why are you always so-"

"What?" She takes a step towards him.

They stare at each other with equally dark eyes and clenched jaws. It's stupid to be thinking it at this moment, but seeing him this worked up and agitated is ridiculously hot. But never in a million years does she expect him to be thinking the same about her; given the reason they're fighting. So when he lunges forward to assert his hands on her waist and his lips onto hers she's completely caught off guard. He stumbles her backwards into the wall and pins her there for a while kissing her hard and heatedly. Her hands clamp his face to hers as his callus fingers start finding their way up the inside of her vest top.

She pushes them away from the wall and starts to guide them towards the stairway. His hands are all over her as he moans into her mouth and he picks her up with haste so she's straddling his waist as he carries her up the stairs. She stops for a moment in thinking purely about how fucking amazing it feels to be this close to him again, to acknowledge the symmetry with when they first slept together after his failed gig this time last year. She indulges the poetry of it all but it's not long before he's laying her down on his bed and she's forced to go back to focusing on how hot he's being right now.

She pulls his shirt up over his head in a rush to glide her hands over his naked torso and a similar thought fleets over his mind as he practically rips her clothes off her body. She manages to keep her hips grinding against his even while he's peeling her jeans off, desperate for him to get inside her. They're both already ready before they even get started which is good because neither are really feeling patient enough for foreplay. For a while she's scared that he's going to change his mind and reject her again so she plays it carefully, letting him take control and avoiding saying anything apart from moaning his name and some curse words. She definitely fears the worst when he pauses and looks down at her with dark, contemplating eyes but luckily for her he's just performing his usual habit of using his eyes to drink in the image of her before attaching his lips to the secret sensitive spot he knows drives her crazy on her collarbone and thrusting deep into her…

* * *

><p>As she stirs into consciousness in the morning she starts to feel fucking amazing, reflecting on the night before. But before she even opens her eyes she knows he's not there next to her. He's not even in the house. There's a glass of milk with a post-it note attached with the simple words 'I'm sorry but I can't' scrawled in his handwriting on her bedside and she sits up to discover her clothes neatly folded over the edge of the bed. It's a giant kick in the nuts but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't told herself to expect this as she watched him fall asleep last night. God she wishes she'd woken up with him nuzzling her neck like he used to… But she doesn't blame him. She would have done the same.<p>

Not wanting to have to face his parents (if they're even around, who knows), she quietly gets herself dressed and sneaks out to her car leaving the glass of milk untouched. She's snuck out of boys houses before plenty of times including Finn's, but not once had she ever come close to feeling as shitty as she was right now.

* * *

><p>She tries calling him later in the day. There's no way last night was 'goodbye sex' or 'we're over sex' or anything like that, she refuses to allow it. He doesn't pick up but just before she goes to sleep she gets a text from him saying. '<strong><em>I'm sorry about this morning. Last night shouldn't have happened. It was amazing but I think I need some space. Just wait for me to figure my head out ok.<em>**'

She gets more positive things out of that text than maybe she should. But he asked her to wait and she can, for as long as she needs to.

And the fact that her name escaped his lips over and over last night gives her hope that she might not have to wait that long...


	26. Emotional Wreckage

The boys head back out on their tour but two and a half weeks later disaster strikes. Puck's daughter Anna is rushed to hospital with suspected meningitis. It takes Puck less than a second to decide on getting the first flight back from where they are in California and the rest of the band support him without hesitation. They postpone the tour and Puck practically takes up residency in the hospital where there are in fact treating his daughter for meningitis...

* * *

><p>It's a rough few days. Everything's touch and go. Of course Finn and Santana offer their unconditional support, taking turns to take care of Puck and Anna's mom Alicia, as they take care of their daughter. Finn takes the delivery role, driving back and forth between houses and hospitals and restaurants with people, clothes and food and whatever needs to be done, whereas Santana somehow automatically gets assigned to be the emotional rock. It's a role she'd usually run a mile from but given the situation and the people in it she doesn't have to think twice before becoming the best support system they could ask for.<p>

She's never seen Puck so disheveled. He always kept his cool, even in the most dramatic of situations but right now he was just a complete mess. Her heart aches for him it really does. She doesn't know what it's like to love something as deeply and selflessly as Puck loves his daughter. It makes her think of Finn. It's not the same on any level. A father in distress at the sight of his baby girl lying on a hospital bed, and a slutty woman, sad because she fucked up her 9-month relationship with her boyfriend; the two don't come close to comparing on the same scale. But she can relate with the prospect of losing the person who means the most to you in this world, because stupid or not she's never been in love with someone like she's in love with Finn. She doesn't dwell on her thought. It seems selfish to be thinking of that right now; her thoughts and prayers should be focused on Anna and her recovery.

* * *

><p>She's sat with Puck in weary silence as they both watch Anna sleep. Finn's on his way with Alicia so she can take over from Puck after the night shift, but everyone knows he's not going to leave her side. It's been 4 days and Finn only just managed to drag Alicia away to get some sleep last night, but Puck is stubborn as ever and refuses to move despite only having about 5 hours sleep all week.<p>

Alicia arrives and is followed promptly by the doctor carrying test results. The doctor delivers a speech with medical mumbo jumbo none of them understand, before revealing that the treatment has been successfully effective and that although they'll have to keep her in for observation for a couple more days to observe potential after effects, she should make a full recovery.

The two parents burst into tears. She's never seen Puck cry but he's completely blubbering from relief and happiness and probably a little from exhaustion and it proves contagious because Santana finds herself helplessly welling up too. Deciding to give them all a moment she steps outside the room and stumbles her way into Finn who's making his way up the corridor.

"Santana? Oh my god what's happened?" he panics at the sight of her hysteria.

"Nothing. It's all good, it's… the treatment worked and she's going to be fine. Well they have to keep her in for observation but they think she's going to make a full recovery."

"Oh." He exhales in pure relief. "Thank god, I thought… come here." He gently pulls her in so she can bury her face in his chest as he comforts her. They just stay like that for a minute in mutual relief that the ordeal's over, before she pulls herself away wiping the tears from her face.

"Urgh sorry. I think hospitals turn me into an emotional wreck. I've been crying all week."

"I'll let you off." He jokes with a smile. "So… what now?"

She knows he's referring to Anna's situation, but a part of her gets led on to thinking he's talking about them and in that moment it occurs to her that they've gone all week without feeling awkward or pained by their own relationship drama. Of course it's because they've been preoccupied though.

_Now_ she feels awkward.

"Um I don't know. I said I'd give them a minute and then I guess we find out if they need anything and if not we…"

"Carry on the way things were." He finishes for her. And this time she knows he's referring to their own drama as well as the real one.

He looks at her longingly and she wonders if it would be entirely inappropriate to kiss him.

She's right to decide against it though, as he breaks their stare and shifts back on his heels away from her.

"You go home and get some rest. I'll deal with whatever needs doing here."

Without a glance back he heads for Anna's room, leaving her standing in the hospital corridor with nothing but her emotional wreckage.

She holds it all together as she exits the hospital entrance doors. So many things could be worse right now so she gets herself to focus on the positives. Still, she takes a moment to sit on a bench outside to have a moment of calm before she has to think about finding a cab.

* * *

><p>She ends up sitting there for longer than planned and 10 minutes later Finn exits the hospital perplexed to find her still sitting outside.<p>

"Hey. You need a ride?"

She's been totally abstract in her thoughts, and the drama of the week seems to all be catching up with her at once as she idly replies,

"Yes please."

They sit in silence as he drives her back to her apartment. He can sense she's genuinely ruffled by the climax of the week's events and willingly puts his pride aside to lighten the tension.

"It's been a crazy couple of days huh."

It takes her a while to hear what he says and get her brain to deliver a reply and when she does it's slow and weighted.

"It's been a crazy couple of _months_. But yeah..."

He looks at her. "Things are gonna be fine.."

She's fed up of his suspicious double-entendres so she just goes for it.

"Will _we_?"

He takes his time answering this one.

"…I don't know."

They return to silence for the rest of the journey and when he pulls up outside her apartment he offers one last smile of comfort, although this time he's careful to avoid eye contact.

She smiles sadly back at him. "Thanks Finn. You've been really great this week."

"No more than you have." He retorts earnestly as she stands to get out the car.

"…I still love you." He blurts out against the steering wheel. She freezes leaning into the car, about to shut the door.

"I don't want to" he adds in a softer tone, keeping his eyes locked on the wheel. "Because I can't forget what happened. But, I do."

She knows he's throwing her a bone because of the emotional last few days they've all had. But it's the best bone she could ever have hoped for.

As she lets herself into her apartment however, it proves to be one thing too many thrown on her pile of emotional wreckage, and she rushes to the bathroom just making it to the toilet before throwing up.

It's the third time she's thrown up this week.

Must be all the stress and exhaustion…


	27. Kiss With A Fist

**Phew this is a long one. As always thanks for any reads/reviews! (And fear not this _will_ end happily for them both eventually! Or will it?... haha no yeah it will)**

* * *

><p>She's at work having an important meeting with some important clients about some important case but none of it seems very important right now.<p>

Her head's all over the place. She hasn't seen or heard from Finn for a couple of days. She just wishes there was some kind of manual or playbook that could tell her what to do in this situation. Does she pursue him persistently pleading her case for forgiveness? Come at him with some big romantic gesture to win him back? Or just sit back and give him space like he asked…

Time seems to be stretched and rushed at the same time and she just feels permanently disorientated. So when she overhears a conversation between the new intern and some drunk guy from outside her office where she's holding her important meeting, it takes her a while to recognize the drunk guy is actually Finn.

"Excuse me are you Patrick?" he asks poking the nervous intern in the shoulder.

"No sir I'm not. But we do have two Patricks in this building so, which one is it you're looking for?"

Finn blinks slowly in his wasted state before answering with a slur, "Patrick starfish?"

The intern squints in confusion but continues bumbling nervously in intimidation. "Um, there's no Patrick Starfish in this office I'm afraid sir. There's Mr Patrick Laurence or Mr Patrick McReery."

"Oh… Who's Patrick Starfish?" Finn stumbles back confused.

The intern, clearly ill-equipped to deal with weird drunken giants, looks extremely pained in his perplexity as he simply answer, "Um, I believe he's a fictional character who lives in a rock under the sea in-"

"Spongebob squaredpants!" Finn's volume suddenly raises by 20 decibels and Santana's ears finally prick up at the sound of his manic laughter. "Ha oh man that's right. Haha you're a funny dude. I hate spongebob squardepants he's so fucking obnoxious. If he was my friend I'd hold him above the water so he'd dry up and die oh holy banana-nut-cheerios!" He exclaims after smashing his animated arms into the hanging lights above his head. "Woah you should heighten up your lamps because they're very low. It's dangerous. I could sue. Where can I find a lawyer! Haha get it! But seriously, where's the Patrick who had sex with my girlfriend?"

His sudden serious tone terrifies the poor intern as Santana finally realizes what's happening.

"Oh God Finn."

She makes her apologies and excuses herself from the clients, practically running out her office as Finn starts yelling loudly.

"Starfish!"

"Finn what the hell are you doing?" She berates in a violent whisper that fails in not drawing even more attention from the number of other lawyers now poking their heads out of offices.

"I'm looking for Patrick." He spits bitterly, while spinning to face her.

"Oh god you're wasted! Finn, go home right now, please. Just, come on."

She tries pushing him away towards the exit but he shakes her off.

"No. I wanna speak to Patricks!"

The corridor's now lined with her curious colleagues and she pinches her exposed forehead in dread as she sees Patrick is one of them.

"Is everything alright Santana?" the guilty Patrick asks sternly.

Finn spins back around on his heels and looks the interferer up and down.

"Are you Patrick?"

"Yes."

"Which one?"

"I'm Patrick McReery."

Finn chuckles darkly taking a dangerous step towards him.

"No. Which _one_?" he repeats with knowing emphasis.

A fearful gulp and a quick glance towards Santana indicate that he is in fact the 'one' Finn's looking for.

There's a tense moment of silence before Finn swings a ferocious right hook catching Patrick square of the nose.

The corridor gasps as Patrick falls hard against the ground, blood spraying evidently from his face and Finn stumbles his way back to composure.

"Finn!" she yells out stunned and outraged.

Some of the guys begin approaching Finn as one of her bosses commands, "Get security!" but she squeezes her way into the commotion and attempts to diffuse it.

"No it's ok Mr Mason he's leaving, he's leaving right now, right Finn?"

Content with himself, Finn no longer appears like a threat and noticing the personal connection her boss gives her a stern look before deciding,

"Santana. Take your lunch break. Sort this mess out."

"Yes sir. I'm so sorry sir."

Gripping her arms around Finn she keeps her head down as she escorts him down the corridor towards the exit.

Three times her colleagues have met Finn. The first he was getting thrown out of a bar, the second he tried to serenade her outside her office on valentines day and the third he tried to start a fight in an office full of lawyers.

She doesn't suppose she'll be bringing him to the Christmas party.

* * *

><p>She drags him across the street towards her car with colossal speed despite her 4-inch high heels and restrictive pencil skirt.<p>

Once he's out of danger of traffic she lets go of him so she can smack him across the chest and finally let her anger out.

"Fuck Finn are you happy now?"

She's hugely pissed off but there's an underlying sympathy that's hard to shake, as she understands the motive behind his actions.

He gives a drunk and arrogant smile.

"Very."

"Good because you probably just got me fired."

"Well maybe you good get a job as a model…" she stares at him with annoyed confusion as he continues to smile arrogantly at her and then he clocks his mistake. "No wait stripper, I was supposed to insult you and say stripper. Forget I said model. You couldn't be.. you couldn't. Well you easily could but… oh fuck my hand hurts." he suddenly grimaces.

He starts pouting dramatically and she gives him a look of sarcastic sympathy.

"Does it, yeah-mm hmm, oh yeah-" she forcefully grabs his hand with intent and pulls him towards her car as he yelps. "Get in the car Finn. I'm taking you home before you get yourself in any more trouble."

With perfect timing a young girl in her early twenties and her pissed looking thug of a boyfriend march their way towards them.

"That's him Mark that's him there."

"Great, what the fuck now." Santana mutters as she notices their approach.

The guy sticks out his chest and makes a beeline for Finn.

"You the fucker who tried to take advantage of my girlfriend?"

"Woah, dude I didn't know she had a boyfriend." Finn backs off.

"Wait, what?" Santana exclaims. She looks at the girl and recognizes her from McKinley. "Madeline?"

"Yeah Santana it's me. And that's Finn Hudson only don't let him get in your car because he'll probably try and sexually assault you!"

"Woah woah woah woah woah. Ok let's calm down." Santana dictates, thinking the situation can now be diffused seeing they all know each other.

She's wrong.

"Let's not." The guy lands a sucker punch to Finn's stomach, sending him reeling as Santana instinctively cuts in to push the guy away before his second attempt.

"Hey. Hey back off."

The girl now identified as Madeline gets involved, aggressively pulling Santana away from the guys.

"Get your hands off my man Lopez!"

She pushes at Santana who adjusts her stance but holds out a hand to signify an end.

"Bitch back your shit up I can't be dealing with this right now-"

The bitch slaps her clean across the mouth, causing her lip to split against her teeth.

She's stunned, but her badass intuition takes over. "Fucker." She hits back at the girl with a full on punch.

Her bag falls off her shoulder and the contents empty onto the floor and the girls come to a standoff as the guys continue wrestling in the background. Santana uncharacteristically backs off and out of the corner of her eye Madeline spots a small pharmaceutical package that immediately changes everything.

"Is that?" she nods towards the package shuffling her feet conflicted as to whether the fight's continuing or not.

Santana locks eye contact with her opponent and strongly pleads for understanding.

"Yup. Like I said, I can't be dealing with this right now."

The girls share a silent, unconditional agreement and Madeline relaxes turning to her boyfriend who now has Finn pinned to the floor on the other side of the car.

"Honey let's go. This is… that's screwed up."

"Oh Madeline you have no idea."

The guy lays off Finn and the two of them strut away as Santana hastily shoves her things back into her bag and wipes the blood from her lip before unapologetically dragging Finn from the floor into her car and rapidly driving away.

* * *

><p>Once they get back to her apartment she forces him onto the couch before storming around the kitchen to pick up a mini-first aid box, a bag of ice and some wet cloths.<p>

"So was that your idea of revenge? Cos I gotta tell you, that really sucked. You're better than that Finn! I mean really, throwing yourself on girls to break up their relationships-"

"-No it wasn't like that." Finn exclaims sobering up slightly from the adrenaline. "I was just sitting at the bar and she came over to me said she recognized me from McKinley and asked to sit with me till her friend arrived because she hated sitting alone. We were talking and then she asked if I'd stayed in contact with anyone from McKinley and I said yes, and then I listed all the people from McKinley that I've, I stayed in touch with and then I got to you and then it was like aaaaahhhh fuuuuuuck!... And I got sad and mad and then she asked if I was seeing someone and I thought she was coming onto me so I kissed her. And then she slapped me and ran."

She positions herself next to him on the arm of the couch and starts attending to his wounds. He's got a cut on his forehead, a black eye with the lump the size of a tennis ball and a split lip that outshines hers and reveals a wobbly tooth. She takes off his shirt and sighs at the purple shading on his ribs, checking to see if any of them are broken. He just sits there pathetically and lets her take care of him. He likes her when she's like this and fortunately (and unfortunately) there's been many times throughout their relationship where she's been forced to nurse him. She balances the bag of ice on his eye before going back to the kitchen to get him some water and pain killers and to tend to her own war wound.

"Oh god. I just got a text from Alison at the office and she says they're taking Patrick to hospital because they think he's broken his nose. Don't look so damn smug this isn't funny." She adds watching a wide grin break out on his disfigured and swollen face.

"I think s'fucking hilarious actually."

"Damn it Finn. None if this is his fault. It's mine. If you wanna punch someone you should've punched me."

"I'm not… I'd never punch you!"

"Oh really why not."

"Because I love you…"

Her heart melts but she keeps a straight face as she goes back to wiping the blood from his lip.

"…And you're a girl. And you'd probably kick my ass... Rumor in high school was that you kept reels of fishing wire in your bra so you could strangle anyone who got on your nerves that day."

She smiles. That wasn't a just a rumor.

"You're gonna have to schedule a dentist appointment tomorrow. One of your teeth is wobbling and you really don't want to add gap tooth to the list for your freaky body description."

She lines the water and painkillers up on the coffee table and takes off his shoes and pants, laying him down on the couch as his eyes start drooping. She throws a blanket over him and just stands watching him fall asleep for a while.

She sighs. This is all so fucked up.

Once he starts snoring she places a kiss to the only part of his face that isn't bruised and heads back to work to try and fix the mess he made…

* * *

><p>When he wakes up 5 hours later she's pulled up a chair and sat next to him, mindlessly running the tips of her fingers through his hair as his head flops over the armrest of the couch. He looks up at her drowsily as flashbacks from the evening start playing out in his mind and the consequences of his actions make themselves remembered as he starts to feel the cuts and swells on his face. He fails in keeping his head up for long and flops it back down on the couch with a groan. She's watching some reality show on mute with the subtitles up and despite twirling her fingers through his hair she's refusing to pay him any attention. They stay that way for a while. Her staring at the muted TV and him staring at her; relaxing at the effect of her fingers in his hair.<p>

She nearly jumps when he interrupts their silence with a soft and sadly asked question.

"Why did you believe that I'd cheat on you with Rachel. How did you think I was capable of that?"

She looks at him with a sadness to match his tone. He deserves an honest answer and after some consideration she gives it to him.

"She worships the ground you walk on. She's kind, and nurturing, and agreeable. Any guy would kill for someone like that…. Being a fun, sexually aggressive bitch is great but no one sticks around for girls like me. Least of all nice guys like you."

He shifts himself up slightly to get a better look at her as she diverts her attention to the floor.

"But don't you get the irony? I would've been the first to stick around for good but you were so ready to believe the worst you ended up creating it yourself."

"I know… I'm my own biggest enemy." She gives an ironic chuckle, mocking herself as he sits up completely on the couch.

"Think I don't know what that's like? Look at the state of me…"

She smiles as he grimaces at poking his wobbly tooth.

It's true, he looks like shit. So, naturally,

"You look like shit."

He rolls his eyes (well 'eye', the other's disappeared under the swelling) before giving a characteristic 'Finn' smile.

"And I have jam down my shirt."

She explodes with laughter. This is the first honest conversation they've had in months and inside she's bursting at the feeling of them connecting like this again.

"Actually I think this time it's blood."

"No it's jam. I did it on purpose this morning to spite you."

"Oh well, between putting my job on the line, kissing an old friend and getting her to give me a fat lip, the jam on the shirt was definitely the most effective act of malice…"

He gives a playful arrogant smirk that makes her laugh again.

Once she's stopped he looks her in the eyes and tells her seriously,

"I'm sorry for today."

He doesn't need to apologize.

"I deserved it."

He gives a slight nod puckering his lips as he looks down and inhales deeply before looking back up at her and dejectedly stating,

"You hurt me."

She looks into his emotive eyes and leans over the couch arm softly delivering with emphasis,

"I know. And I never want to ever again. And I'm not giving up on us."

He smiles and places a hand on her knee.

"Finally."

It's not total forgiveness but it's a damn good start.

He suddenly grimaces and moves his hands up to his head.

"Uh man. My head's gonna explode. I never get hangovers, but I guess this is that karma thing." He muses throwing back a couple of the painkillers she left out for him. "Was your boss super pissed?"

"Yeah. But I'm his best and hottest employee so he'll get over it… So what made you finally snap?"

He rubs his eyes and exhales.

"Puck quit the band. It occurred to him that touring the country, going out of state for months to purse his own passion made him as selfish and irresponsible as his old man. This whole thing with Anna really freaked him out and now he's just ready to get a steady life together and focus on his daughter."

She gets it. The news sucks but she thinks maybe it makes sense.

"So you got pissed off?"

"No. Well yeah but not at Puck. He's making the right decision and I respect him for that." He starts putting his shirt and pants back on as a visual distraction from what he's saying. "But it's like, I had football, and I had music. And I had them both in the palm of my hand and now I don't have either of them and now I have nothing. So I got drunk. And all I wanted to do was call you and be with you and then I remembered I couldn't. And then I remembered Patrick and then all I wanted to do was punch him. So I did."

She's well aware of the rest of the story. It then occurs to her the dangerous path he's on. He's at risk of falling into the same helpless pit she found him in a year ago. But fuck him if he thinks she's going to let him. Especially not now.

She moves over to him on the couch.

"You know you can get everything back. Football and music I mean." (And her.) "There are loads of different ways in getting coaching qualifications these days and you don't need a band and a tour that takes you out of state to make music. You have plenty of viable options here Finn and with your talent and skills it's going to be easy enough to find something you love."

"Thanks but I've already decided what I'm doing." He starts putting on his shoes and then he casually drops the bombshell.

"I'm joining the military."

She laughs at his joke. Only he's not joking.

"Wait, are you serious? The military."

"Yup the Marine Corps. Responsibility, discipline, the chance to see the world a little bit and the chance to finally make my mom proud and follow in my father's footsteps…"

He's really not joking. And it starts to terrify her. But mostly it pisses her off.

Her anger brings her to her feet as she struggles to find words.

"Finn. You can't just wake up and decide to join the army! It's not a joke, it's not a career that you choose so that you and have some 'discipline' and get out of Ohio for a change!"

He joins her in standing and suddenly their nice moment of progress has turned into another argument.

"I'm aware of that. But it's something I've always had at the back of my mind but never had the guts to do and now I have nothing to lose so…"

"You have nothing to lose. Finn this isn't going to be like one of your video games where you get checkpoints and levels up and extra lives ok. The military is as real as it gets."

"You really think I don't know that? You think I grew up completely ignorant about the effects of war thinking, my dad had just gone to a nice, farm somewhere to live with the other soldiers who didn't come home. I'm not naïve Santana, this is just, something I need to do."

Like hell is it.

"No, you don't and you know what you can't! You can't go into the army, I forbid you."

"Oh you _forbid_ me. Really. And I should mindlessly obey you because…"

"Because I'm pregnant!"

...It just slips out. And she doesn't know what's scarier, hearing the words out loud for the first time or the way he's now looking at her…


	28. Mop And A Bucket

Pregnant.

The word resonates around the room like a gunshot and she's left recoiling after pulling the trigger.

He just stares at her for a while, mouth dropped open lazily in shock, eyes incapable of blinking as he processes the information.

"You're… pregnant."

It's neither a statement nor a question, just a string of words uttered in disbelief in a tone that she's too numb to figure out because all she feels at the moment is fear.

"No."

He jerks his head with a quipped eyebrow.

"No?"

Okay so 'no' was a completely stupid thing to say.

"Well yes. I am. At least, the 11 pregnancy tests I've taken seem to think I am."

"11?"

"I was in denial for the first 6.."

"So you're actually…"

"Yeah."

Despite the waves of adrenaline flashing through her head, the rest of her body is stone cold glued to the floor and she thinks he's suffering from the same condition until his legs crumble and he crashes down on the couch. He starts slowly but aggressively rubbing his temples and she just watches him waiting for him to make the next move.

It then occurs to her that she should have planned this out a whole lot better. Prepared a speech or something or at least got her own head sorted out before causing his to malfunction too. Her legs finally gain enough feeling to allow her to move to sit on the coffee table in front of the couch and her heart rate begins to slow down to normality as she sits waiting for him to say something. He takes so long she's able to totally regain her strength and psyches herself up enough to deal with this situation calmly and controlled like her usual self.

He finally snaps out of his routine and sits back into the couch for a split second before springing back forward on the edge of his seat with the most serious face she's ever seen him wear in his life.

"Whose, whose the father? Is it his?"

He holds his breath waiting for the answer.

She leans forward on the edge of the coffee table and bears into his eyes. This is important.

"It's yours."

His eyes soften but his face stays still.

"I'm just supposed to trust you on that?"

She knows he has a right to ask that, but her response comes out slow and cold.

"I know I'm a bitch but you know I'm not a liar."

"Well how can you be sure?"

"A. He used a condom and B. I never actually let him finish. I stopped him after about 3 minutes actually. And you and I have never really been overly careful…"

"So you're saying there's no chance it's his?"

"No. This baby is 100% yours and mine."

Her response carries all the confidence in the world and he feels safe enough to believe her. But after a fleeting moment of joy he starts to panic again. She expects the panic, she's damn near drowned in it herself, but she's totally unprepared for what he comes out with next.

"Did you do this on purpose? To trap me?"

There's an anger to his tone that she really doesn't fucking appreciate.

"Yeah Finn, yeah that's exactly what I did. I thought hmm it's such a shame this boy doesn't like me anymore. I know, I'll grow a human being inside my stomach and put myself through 9 months of hell followed by a lifetime of stress and responsibility just so I can hear his theories on which of the Muppets would make the best side-kick in a zombie invasion every morning. You know what, screw you."

She stands and moves in front of the TV with her arms folded across her chest and her explosion is enough to snap him back to his senses.

"I'm sorry I just, I don't… you're on the pill, it shouldn't…."

"Well it has."

She can't explain it any better than that.

"How long have you known?"

"A few days… Well deep down I guess I've known for couple of weeks I just, didn't want to accept that it could be true."

"Are you sure? I mean, maybe it's just trapped gas or something."

She rolls her eyes and ignores the temptation to laugh.

"Maybe! Pregnancy tests are known for confusing human babies with methane ones."

"Okay look just, everybody calm down!" He stands up in desperation and she wonders how many people he thinks are actually in the room right now.

"This is, this is not. You can't have a, we can't take care of a baby. We can't even take care of ourselves let alone each other, let alone a baby. I can't, I need to…"

He bows his head and makes his way towards the front door, his legs not really functioning properly as he moves in more of an awkward bouncing motion than a walk.

He has a right to freak out and she doesn't want to crumble in front of him any more than she has already but she doesn't want him to go.

"No, Finn please don't leave!"

He turns back around before closing the door but keeps his eyes to the ground as if he knows how heartbreaking it would be to look at her pleading face right now.

"I have, I.. I'm sorry I just need to go, in air, and think because this is…"

And with that he closes the door behind him leaving her standing there, in the middle of her apartment, all alone clutching her chest. She stays strong for a good solid two minutes before falling apart completely.

* * *

><p>After crying her eyes out in the living room she figured it would be a nice change of scenery to cry her eyes out in her bedroom, and after crying a friggin' waterfall onto her bed sheets, she pulled herself together again and shook the hysteria off. She figures she's cried more in the last month or so than she has done over the rest of her life and she's sick of it. This is why she didn't feel things, or let people have a stock in her emotions because then everything just gets completely fucked up including herself.<p>

She's done avoiding this and wishing it wasn't happening. It's time to deal with it. She's good at dealing with things, just getting on with it and moving forward, has been all her life so she figures it's time to get herself back to the Santana Lopez who can do just that. Instead of the weepy, pathetic mess she's been of recent.

She decides she's pissed at him for leaving. She didn't see it coming, not from him. She knows he'll be back eventually but her head's set into manage mode and she's not going to wait around for him to catch her up. She decides she needs to talk to someone about this but as she debates her options she finds them lacking.

As much as she loves Brittney the girl lives in fucking Narnia and probably wouldn't give the best-informed opinions. Puck's always great to talk to in crisis but he'd kill her for even considering any other option apart from keeping it. She doesn't want to give her colleagues something to gossip about behind her back and she doesn't want to even think about telling her parents. She comes close to calling Quinn but decides it feels wrong on every level so in the end she just sits there in her apartment arguing it out on her own.

And then it hits her that she's not on her own. She's there with her un-grown and unborn child. She places her hands on her stomach just thinking about how weird it is that there's a person growing inside her. She thinks about really being pregnant, having to balloon up and waddle around with mood swings and stretch marks, the horrors of labor followed by the constant pressure of being responsible for someone and making sure they not only survive for years on end but that they turn out good and not a crazy serial killer or a cult activist or something. She thinks about the drama and the chaos and the drain these responsibilities would have on her own life. And then she thinks about Finn, and how this will all affect him and how this is going to affect their already screwed up dysfunctional relationship. They've not even been together for a year and they already fight way too much. Mind you they also have sex way too much, as evident by the impending baby bump. But they're still kind of messed up right now and she's too young, too selfish and too unprepared for all this. And there are a million different reasons as to why this can't happen.

She understands that. What she doesn't understand however, is why there's this small new resilient voice at the back of her head telling her that maybe those reasons aren't actually enough… She silences it but reaching for her laptop and typing abortion clinics into google...

* * *

><p>He finally storms back into the apartment and as she checks the time she's surprised to note it's been three hours since he left. He enters the bedroom and stands firm at the foot of the bed. He's still clearly flustered and desperate but there's a focus and urgency about him now.<p>

"Okay look I'm sorry I shouldn't of walked out on you that was seriously crappy of me I just, this is…"

"-fucked up?" she fills in for him, putting the laptop down on the bed, freeing her arms to cross over her chest.

"Yeah. But it's ok we can figure this all out. We just need to, figure it all out so lets get straight to the point. What do you want to do?" he sits himself down next to her while she takes her time to respond.

"I don't know."

"Ok.. well that's not really helpful with the whole figuring out thing-"

"Yeah well neither was storming out and leaving me here on my own."

"Right…." He sighs and begins looking around the room for inspiration for something to say next. That's when he notices the tab open on her laptop screen. She notices him notice, but this time she's prepared. "Wait, what's that? Santana you can't have a-"

"-Finn let me ask you a question, if you had to chose between taking a little pill or pushing a honeydew melon out of your penis which would it be?"

He ponders that for a second with a disturbed look on his face. And then he just looks at her in heavy despair.

"But it's not a melon it's a person. It's, _our_ person. A little baby person with arms and feet and a heart and stuff…"

She knew he'd get emotional about this.

"No it's just a sperm in an egg."

"You don't believe that." He tells her with a conviction that proves enough to break her façade. She doesn't believe that. Especially not after the hour she just spent researching the whole thing. There's no point trying to lie to herself, or him.

"Okay fine I'm not going to have an abortion. I can't it's too… But what are we supposed to do Finn?"

They sit there in silence for a while, her staring at the computer screen and him staring between her and the floor. He starts twitching uncomfortably in his seat and she knows that's him trying to gain the courage to say something. She's not really expecting what he comes out with though…

"Santana… we could totally do this."

He says it slow and serious, but he's not instantly understood.

"What?"

"We can do this. We can have this baby." She rolls her eyes but he interrupts her before she can begin her protest. "I know it's terrifying but when you think about the big picture as like, small details that all combine together to make the big picture, it's not that bad. And I think we can totally do this."

He's deadly serious. She knows he loves kids but she knows how big of one he is himself and she thinks he's clearly not thought about the real repercussions like she has over the last three hours.

"Finn-"

"-Parenting's not that difficult! You just keep them dry, keep them out of sunlight and don't feed them after midnight."

He's smiling. She's definitely not.

"That was a joke… gremlins?"

"This isn't a fucking joke Finn!"

"No I know I'm just… I'm just saying it's simple when you really think about it. I mean, when you love something you'll do anything to keep it safe and happy and maybe this isn't perfect or ideal timing but… you're growing our baby. _Our_ baby. Yours and mine and I already know that I'm going to love it more than anything I've ever loved in this world and knowing that, I know that I'll do anything for it so, whatever problems you're thinking and worrying about, I'll solve them before they even have a chance to rise."

He's completely sincere and it melts her heart a little but she forces herself to stick to her cynical realism.

"That's great Finn but I have a Sudoku book that you filled out playing noughts and crosses. The first time I wore a lace corset for you, you came at me with scissors because you couldn't figure out how to untie the back. Remember when you accidently set the microwave to 10 minutes instead of 1 and you couldn't work out how to stop it so you nearly killed yourself by ripping the door off instead! You're not exactly a problem solver Finn."

It comes out more bitter than she anticipated and he takes it the wrong way.

"Are you saying I won't be a good dad?"

She realizes her mistake and gives a softer, honest response.

"No, no. You're going to be an _amazing_ dad. But sometimes loving something just isn't enough. Look at us…"

He thinks about this for a second but it just excites him further.

"Exactly. Look at us. There are tons of reasons we shouldn't be together. I'm a loser and a dork who can't cook a microwave meal and you're a really mean emotionally unstable lawyer who's scared of things being nice. We shouldn't work but we do. Because love _is_ enough and if it wasn't I'd be able to hate you because of what you did and you'd have never loved me in the first place."

There's a determined enthusiasm about him and she's running out of counterarguments. It scares her how easily he's convincing her, but it still doesn't make sense.

"You really expect this to work. You, me and a baby."

He takes her hand.

"I got my old job back at the bar. It's not perfect but it'll do for now and it's a steady income. And you've got a super comfortable income and job so it's not like money's going to be a problem between us. I'm going to be there for every doctor's appointment, every morning you get sick, every freak-out that you have with every inch that your stomach expands, every time the baby kicks -because let's face it the kid's got good kicking genes- and I'm going to be there to wait on you hand on foot when you're on maternity leave. And 9 months from now I'm going to be stood beside you during the birth wearing my old football pads and helmet because we both know you're going to inflict a hell of a lot of damage on me on that day and then most importantly I am going to be there every hour of every day that that kid and I are both on this planet."

She totally believes him. She just stares at him in awe thinking that he's without question the sweetest most unbelievable guy on the planet. She's looking like she could burst into tears at any moment but then it hits her that she's totally lapping up everything he's saying and there's something in her that's okay with that. Something in her that's okay with what he's proposing and it really starts to freak her out. She breaks her gaze from him and starts shaking her head as she moves to sit on the edge of the bed, chewing her thumb. He moves with her spotting her vulnerability.

"Look I know you're scared. And I know you have to make the decision and I'll respect whatever decision you make but just know that we can do this. We could have this baby."

It's not a decision. There is no decision. There's no way she could bring herself to have an abortion and there's no way she could bring herself to give their baby away. Which leaves her with one option. And it's not a choice or a choice of a lack of choice it's a compulsion. She'd never have seen this coming but fact of the matter is she's pregnant with Finn Hudson's baby and she already loved it irrevocably.

She exhales and turns to look him in the eyes.

"If you chicken out over the next few months and forget everything you just said I will hunt you down and literally kill you, dead. I will kill you, dead. Twice. Because I want this baby to have two parents who care about it. I know what its like to have parents who don't care and you know what it's like growing up with one missing and I don't want that for our child."

He nods in agreement to her demands before realizing what she's actually saying.

"Our child? So does that mean we're keeping it?"

"I have gone over and over this in my head a thousand times. This shouldn't be happening. I can't explain it but as much as the thought of being a parent terrifies me, I just can't turn my back on it now that it's happening."

He presses their foreheads together with a smile. He can feel her shaking slightly so he places a kiss on the end of her nose, knowing how that little act has always been effective in calming her down.

She laughs slightly and puts her hands on her stomach.

"I feel like it's judging me already, which makes sense because it has my DNA so of course it's already a stubborn, judgmental badass. But I guess if J-Lo can be a young hot Latina mamma with a good career and an even better rear so can I right?"

"Definitely. You'll be like the Hispanic version of Erin Broko….stitchmonshipwoman… Julia Roberts."

"What do we do about us? I am scared shitless right now. And I need you more than I have ever needed anyone in my entire life. But now I need you for this baby's sake. I don't need you to pretend everything's now fine because you want to be a good dad and I don't want to risk it if-"

He heads out the bedroom without warning and after a stunned moment she jumps off the bed to follow him.

"Are you seriously walking out on me again? Were you not listening to the I'm going to kill you dead speech?"

He's kneeling down on the living room floor next to a cardboard box, which he begins to unpack item by item.

"Cowboy hat and a shot-glass from Texas because I know cowboys are your favorite fetish, even though you tell people it's firemen, and you've always wanted to drink in a honkey-tonk bar. Giant wafer cookies from California and a bumper sticker because I know you've always wanted to drive along the East Coast in search of someone from 'the hills' to perform a hit and run. Mount Rushmore bobble-head, because you love tacky souvenirs, although I actually got this from a Walgreen in Washington because I didn't realize the real thing was in South Dakota… Diamond earrings and a knuckle-duster from Detroit because I know you enjoy thinking it's stereotypically gangster and 2 cases of that beer you liked in New York, although I guess you wont be wanting these now. I was actually out buying the beer the night Andy picked up my phone…"

She just stands there in bewilderment and he gets to his feet looking bashful.

"While I was on tour I wanted to prove I was thinking of you everywhere we went. But I guess I should have just called you and told you that instead of buying… this junk."

He starts walking towards her.

"This mess that we're in, it's just mess. I never stopped loving you and I know you made a mistake. All that's ever stood in our way is our own stupid pride. So I vote we just clean up. I'll be the mop and you be the bucket! We've got a nine month head start to work on fixing us and to figure this out so let's just take advantage of that…"

She's on the verge of tears again. The things this guy does to her… She's certain he must be sick of seeing her cry though so she swallows the lump in her throat and sarcastically rolls her eyes.

"You and your fucking metaphors."

He chuckles.

"You love it."

She loves _him_.

"You really think we can fix us and make this work?"

His hands fly around her waist, pulling her towards him.

"I love you Santana. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to love you even more when you swell up and start looking like the gross alien queen from alien vs predator that hatched all those eggs things on that conveyor belt."

She frowns but moves her arms up around his neck, one hand sliding to tangle in the back of his hair.

"Really? You're comparing the mother of your unborn child to a gross alien queen? I'm going to have to tattoo my 'kill you dead' speech onto your forehead aren't I…"

He smiles and leans in to kiss her but they both jerk back as if having received electric shocks.

"Fuck." He mutters half terrified, half in wonder.

"Yeah I heard it too…"

"Mother–of-my-unborn-child." He repeats slowly.

"I'm the mother of your unborn child… Holy hell we're having a baby!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the delay! And sorry this was such a long one... but i think it kind of needed to be. Hope you enjoyed! I'm kind of out of my depth with the pregnancy thing so some of the facts or whatever in the next few chapters may not 100% correct and they'll be a bit drabbly but hey, it's fanfiction!<br>On the home-stretch now! Thanks again to all reads/reviews! You guys have really kept me going! :D**


	29. The Craziest

That night the two of them just stay up talking about absolutely everything until somehow she falls asleep on the couch.

She wakes up in her own bed though after Finn carried her in as slowly as humanly possible not wanting to somehow disturb the baby.

And then when she violently runs to the bathroom in the morning he gets a quick and hard-hitting lesson in how morning sickness does wonders for her rage issues when she slams the door in his face and refuses to let him in.

When she finally opens the door she finds him sitting patiently against the doorframe with a tray of crackers and lemon water. Without saying anything she sits herself down onto his lap and begins tucking into his inspired remedy, while he gently rubs the lower of her back and brushes the hair off her still sweating face.

She immediately starts feeling better and thinks that maybe she'll let him in next time.

* * *

><p>She thinks the drama's all over now although she's fully aware of the irony considering most people would say the real drama's just begun. It still hasn't really sunk in. But she's back to feeling calm around him and now they've made a decision and begun working on figuring it all out, the hysteria and the vulnerable insecurity have stopped. She's totally back to her old self; headstrong, self-confident and in complete control...<p>

At least for a few days. Then they go for their first doctor's appointment she suffers a momentary lapse as she panics in the car on the way and starts imagining crazy scenarios regarding her and the baby...

"What if I drop it?" she asks seriously concerned, staring out of the car window.

"Pick it up again." He shrugs with a smile, hands on the wheel secretly finding her sudden silly vulnerable freak-out adorable and hilarious.

"What if I'm a terrible mother and it hates me!"

"It's not going to hate you."

"What if it's one of those babies that doesn't stop crying or turns out ugly and I end up hating _it_!"

"We'll put in on Ebay."

"What if I stay permanently fat even when it's out?"

"I'll put _you_ on Ebay!"

"What if I can't handle having it depending on me all the time?"

"We'll work as a team."

"What if it gets your poor coordination and stupidity and my bad attitude and temper!"

"Then the kid's screwed…"

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?" she snaps, finally annoyed at him.

"Because you're being ridiculous! Just look at it this way, if Puck can be a good parent then you definitely can. It's gonna be tough and everything's going to change but I have total faith in you. You're Santana Lopez! You already got this."

His free hand moves to her settle on her knee as a sign of support and after frowning/smirking at him for a while she realizes he's right, and places her hand over his with affectionate gratitude, now smiling out the window.

* * *

><p>Sitting in the waiting room she's a nervous wreck. The room's filled with other couples, some more obviously and intimidatingly pregnant than others, and the whole thing nearly manages to freak her out again until she notices a tired looking woman sitting alone on the end of the row. She's not wearing a wedding ring and not only is she one of the more obviously pregnant women but it also becomes apparent that the one year old playing uncontrollably at the lego table is hers as well.<p>

It's at that moment she realizes how lucky she is to have Finn. No matter what happens between the two of them in the future she knows there's no other guy on the planet she could trust more to stick with her throughout this and nobody who'd put more effort into making this all work.

She grabs Finn's hand tighter than ever, causing him to snap out of staring at the kid at the lego table with jealousy and turn his attention towards her. He seems to read her mind as she gives him the world's most appreciative smile, kissing her emphatically on the forehead in return, as the nurse comes out to call them in...

* * *

><p>After the many exams, discussions and questions the doctor performs the ultrasound to hear the baby's heartbeat. Santana had been perfectly calm up to this point but this was the bit she was secretly terrified about.<p>

Finn mindlessly babbles away to the doctor about how the baby's going to have the strongest and most rhythmic heartbeat she's probably ever heard given that he/she's the offspring of a kickass drummer and normally she'd interrupt with some witty quip but right now she's not feeling too vocal.

The doctor gets straight on with it and the room falls silent for what feels like an eternity as they wait for the sound to hit their ears. She closes her eyes to steady herself and then she hears it. The baby's heartbeat. Finn's right, it's strong and perfectly rhythmic and the weirdest, proudest sensation waves over her. The doctor points to the screen and explains what's going on and this unexpected giggle escapes her.

"It's so small!"

The doctor gives a smile before declaring "I'll give you two a moment." and leaves them alone in the room.

She takes it all in.

"Fuck. This is so weird. Do you think every kid looks like that or have we just created the new Mr Peanut? ...Finn?"

She's suddenly aware of how uncharacteristically quiet he's been and takes her attention away her 'womping' baby to check on him.

He's staring at the screen open mouthed with a look of total fear.

"What if I crush it like when I accidently stepped on that rabbit one time?"

"What?"

"What if I'm too big to take care of it? Look how tiny it is!"

His voice is seriously high-pitched and shaky.

"Well it's going to get bigger than that. I doubt thousands of women would find labor that traumatic if they had to push that small a thing out of their hoohah."

"What if it grows up hating me and thinking I'm a freak?... What if it grows up to be a Colts fan?... What if I lose it at the supermarket? I've lost you like 4 times because I always get distracted!"

"Just never take it up the cereal isle…. See funny comments aren't so funny when you're freaking out are they? Which by the way you're only allowed to do once, because only one of us can freak out at a time if we're going to get through this and I'm claiming everyday for the next 8 months."

He still looks serious as ever.

"...What if I totally suck at being a dad?"

She smiles with adoration before placing a hand on the side of his face, sweetly stroking his cheek with her thumb.

"Honey, you're Finn freaking Hudson! You already got this."

* * *

><p>They decide to keep it to themselves till after Christmas. She's too nervous to tell her boss and Finn has it in his mind that the revelation will be the perfect Christmas present for his mom. She's not showing yet so it's easy enough to get away with it.<p>

It's impossible not to tell Puck though. The three of them hang out constantly and Finn just lets it slip one afternoon. They're at Anna's kindergarten Christmas recital thing and the whole event just breaks Finn's resolve. Puck laughs his ass off which she doesn't totally appreciate, and then once he's calmed down he claims his apparently indisputable post as Godfather, and then finally he congratulates them. It's kind of nice that he knows. Plus she already called Brittney and secretly told her so it's nice knowing that her and Finn are even in not keeping the secret.

Towards the end of the play she figures her hormones must be kicking in because a few months ago she wouldn't have found the sight of a three year old Mary bursting into tears when the baby Jesus' arm falls off and a three year old Joseph yelling excitedly out to his mom in the middle of his lines half as adorable as she was right now.

She scans the nativity scene, wondering which one her kid will probably turn out to be like.

She figures if they have a boy it'll take after Finn and be the kid at the back trying to land a kiss on the girl standing next to him, and if they have a girl it'll take after her, and be the girl at the back pushing the boy trying to kiss her straight off the stage...

* * *

><p>He moves in with her.<p>

It makes sense. He certainly wasn't lying when he said he'd be there for her whenever, so it just makes more sense that he has his stuff on hand while he's on hand. They don't really discuss whether the move's just for convenience or because it's a progressive step in their relationship, but she figures the motive doesn't matter. It's natural and they're happy so she doesn't see the need in putting a label on it.

They've got the morning sickness thing down and she even put on her first 3 pounds without crying at the increase of the scales. She's tired a lot and her nose has developed superhuman scent powers, which proves to be an unpredictable gift and curse but overall, it's been a pretty smooth first 9 weeks of pregnancy and as Christmas draws closer she can't really complain about feeling pretty darn content with life.

* * *

><p>He's in the middle of a usual day at work when a sudden piece of news rocks his world.<p>

She comes into the bar during her lunch break. Puck's sat at the bar educating Anna in how to throw peanuts at the back of Finn's head and get away with it and they all seem to be having a good time until they see her.

Finn nearly drops the glass he's holding when he notices her and his eyes fill with instant dread and panic.

She's shaking slightly, clutching at her purse, her eyes close to tears.

He rushes over to her.

"Babe what's wrong? What's happened?"

She shakes her head and Puck clutches Anna closer towards him with dread.

"Baby?"

"They've... they've..." she's stutters.

"What?"

He places his hands to her face, his heart rate at maximum speed as he waits for her to talk.

When she does it's slow, and shaky.

"They've ...opened a breadsticks down the street…. A huge one."

Puck exhales forcefully and rolls his eyes but Finn just stares at her. If it were anyone else they'd be royally pissed off for the emotional turmoil she just put him through but Finn just starts to mimic her behavior in shaking and nearly crying and exclaims,

"Holy hell I think this is the happiest day of my life!"

They embrace enthusiastically and Puck can't believe what he's seeing.

"You two are dorks. And you are seriously lucky to have found each other."

Finn's too excited to hear him.

"Oh my god we should totally name our kid breadsticks!"

Puck slams his hand down on the bar in embarrassment.

"Ok, I'm officially resigning as Godfather!"

* * *

><p>It's a week before Christmas and she and Finn are getting ready to attend her annual office party.<p>

He's promised to be on his best behavior and despite gaining a couple more pounds she's still not showing so her plan not to tell anyone at work will easily be completed.

He's dressed and ready, standing in front of the refrigerator, torturing himself looking at all the food she's forbidden him to eat before they go. He realizes she's taking a lot longer than usual and they have to leave soon, so he goes to the bedroom to check on her.

She's actually also dressed and ready to go, but she's lying propped up against the pillows on her bed, legs crossed with a massacred box of tissues next to her.

"San what's wrong?" he worries walking over to the bed.

She sniffs. "Nothing. I just feel really stupid and shitty and hormonal and it's stupid because I know I'll feel fine tomorrow and I don't really know why I'm sad!"

He sighs in relief. Her mood swings have been gradually getting worse and worse. At first they were concerned, but the doctor explained they can occur straight after the first signs of pregnancy and given Santana's normal emotional dispositions, it's not really surprising that hers are proving frequent and spectacular.

Luckily he's gotten really good as helping her with them.

"Why don't we just blow off the party, stay here, snuggle in bed and watch one of your really sad, really cheesy chick flicks. We could eat bad food.. _really_ bad food and you can cry as many times as you want and not once will I tell you it's stupid -until you're ready to laugh about it tomorrow, then I will tease you mercilessly. You can even paint my toe-nails… actually no that would be weird and my feet are really big so it would be a waste of paint…. Just, whatever you want."

She smiles and signals for him to join her on the bed. He does and she snuggles under his arm.

"You must think I'm pathetic..."

"No I don't think you're pathetic. You're so entitled to feel this way, because you're human - well technically double human I guess... Which is nice. Because it means I have a human girlfriend. Up till now I always wondered if you were just a figment of my imagination."

He says it so casually and with total sincerity with no clue to how endearing he's being.

She feels better already and looks up at him with a smirk.

"Well my Christmas present best not be a figment of your imagination because I am giving you your own actual human being, so I'm expecting at least the equivalent weight in diamonds!"

"Nu uh. Finntana Junior doesn't count because your due date isn't for another half a year and if I can't open it on Christmas day then its not a Christmas present!"

Finntana Junior. She hates that nickname. It's so obnoxiously cute. But she's been unsuccessful in detaching it from him so what can she do but put up with it.

"Really? Well you could've told me that a couple of weeks ago the stores are basically all closed now… I'm kidding!" she adds noticing the desperate look on his face at the notion of no presents.

Panic over, he moves on to securing their dinner plans.

"Pizza?"

She nods "Sounds perfect."

He kisses her temple before leaping off the bed, throwing his suit jacket off on his way to the landline.

* * *

><p>"Pizza's on it's way so.. how about something festive? The Muppet Christmas Carol? Elf? Bad Santa? Or…. Gremlins!"<p>

He bursts back into the room with boyish excitement but his face soon falls. She's standing hands-on-hips with her dress half way off down her waist and he doesn't know whether to pay attention to the fact that she's standing just in her bra or that she's scowling like the devil.

He definitely should be paying attention to the scowl. She explodes.

"Gremlins. You how much I hate that movie. Why the fuck would you make me stay home from my office Christmas party to eat food that's gonna make me morph into a whale and watch a stupid fucking movie that I fucking hate! Urgh and you know what else I fucking hate?"

He's confused/scared as hell.

"Um…"

"-This damn dress. You know why I hate this damn dress? Because it's my favorite!"

He's _really_ confused/scared as hell. She continues her explosion.

"And I'm already struggling to get in and out of it and pretty soon it's just going to have to sit alone in my closet like an abandoned dog at the pound because I'll be too friggin fat to wear it!"

Now he gets it.

"Right… But just think about all the new clothes you're going to get to buy over the next few months. Seriously, endless shopping! Huh? You love shopping! And maybe we can find you a new favorite dress that's you know, stretchy…"

She scowls and sits down in a fluster.

"This isn't about a dress Finn."

Okay so maybe he doesn't get it.

"…What is it about?"

She doesn't get it either.

"I don't know."

He gently laughs and takes her hand.

"Wow your mood swings are a real treat today…"

He immediately wishes he hadn't said that. But instead of exploding again like he expects, she just puts her head on his shoulder and sighs.

"Sorry..."

"It's ok." He offers softly leaning his head onto hers. "Just promise you'll never beat me. I can take a punch but you have tiny fists of steel!"

She proves he's right by giving him the usual slap across the chest causing him to shriek like a girl.

By the time the pizza arrives everything's calm again and they snuggle into bed as planned, successfully agreeing on "It's a Wonderful Life" as their festive flick.

He thinks it's a safe choice in not setting off another mood swing, but it turns out he's wrong when she starts sobbing again.

"We'll go shopping first thing tomorrow and only eat celery sticks!" he panics.

"It's not that…" she wails out through her tears as she puts down her slice of pizza to pick up a napkin.

She wipes her tears and looks at him. "I'm just so happy!"

She's still crying. And it sure doesn't seem like she's happy. But then she smiles picking up her pizza again and takes a huge, content bite.

He gives a trademark grin.

Out of all the girls he could've knocked up in the world, he definitely picked the craziest...


	30. Little Llama

She wakes up Christmas morning to find him staring at 's normally nothing out of the ordinary but this time he's sat on the end of the bed, legs crossed and hunched forward in his Christmas pajamas looking like the Grinch on meth and if she wasn't such a lethargic morning person she'd probably would've freaked the fuck out and reached for the baseball bat under her bed.

She barely lifts an eyelid but he's studying her with such focus that he realizes she's awake. His face bounces alive with excitement as he yells 'Merry Christmas!' at the top of his lungs, leans forward to excitedly kiss her and then sprints away to the living room, clomping his feet in excitement like a 5 year old.

Before she's even had time to move another inch he leaps back onto the bed with a bundle of presents collected in his arms and scatters them across the bed before leaning back in to give her another kiss.

"Come on… wake up it's Christmas!"

She still refuses to move. It's way too early to enjoy him being this cute.

She can feel his crossed legs twitching in excitement on the bed and 10 seconds later he's leaning down next to her face, nuzzling her cheek with his nose like some giant puppy that wants to go for a walk or something.

"….'Tana…" he whines into her ear.

She ignores him further but almost breaks out into a smile when she hears him huff. She can just imagine his little pouting face but she's having far too much fun making him wait.

"I got presents…."

He pulls the bed covers down from her neck and she shudders at the cold air now attacking her skin. He lays down so they're on the same level and softly begins blowing hot air from his breath up and down her exposed collarbone, watching her closed eyelids flutter at the sensation. She can't help but smile when he reaches up below her ear and begins nibbling on the lobe. His hands have been like magnets to her stomach since he found out she was pregnant so she's pleasantly surprised to find them grazing a little south as he begins groping the back of one of her thighs while now attacking her neck with his lips.

Now she's ready to wake up.

Problem is he knows exactly what he's doing, so as soon as she starts to respond by angling her body more comfortably towards him and fisting her hands in his shirt forcing his lips to meet hers, he pulls away with a 'ha' and sits back upright reshuffling the assortment of presents across the bed. She lets out a frustrated whine at being caught and sprung in his trap and throws a pillow at his head in revenge before finally sitting up.

She's still completely groggy from slumber but the sight of the many presents scattered across her lap soon works like an instant caffeine kick. He places yet another kiss to her incredibly attractive bed-headed temple and she folds one hand under his bicep, stroking the top of his shoulder with the other as she wishes back 'Merry Christmas baby' through a half stifled yawn. She knows this is his favorite holiday and it's their first Christmas together so despite the slow start she's determined to make it a good one for him with no typical hormonal, bitchy or grumpy interruptions from her. She already started her efforts last night, waiting for him to fall asleep before sneakily retrieving a sack full of presents from her wardrobe and hooking it to the end of the bed on his side.

She can tell he's been eyeing it all morning. And to be honest she wouldn't put it past him if he'd already dug his way through it and tried to figure them all out before she woke up. His lips are pursed and pouted to one side as his eyes unashamedly flicker between her and the sack on the end of the bed and she just laughs and nods and he gives her the biggest kiss of gratitude yet before scrambling across to retrieve it.

He tells her to open hers first and she's not even actually that shallow when it comes to material gifts and presents but what can she say, the boy done good. More bling than she knows he can afford, her all time favorite book in its original edition with a unique leather binding that she knows must've taken him ages to track down, the ultimate Alfred Hitchcock collection that she knows he's dreading having to watch with her because he's a total girl, and the cutest new work briefcase hidden inside a gorgeous Louis Vuitton bag that she knows he got on the cheap from one of Puck's 'associates' but that kind of makes her love him even more.

The boy definitely done good.

She got him a new Cincinnati Bengals jersey, an expensive watch that she had 'love till the end of time' engraved on the underside because she knows he enjoys cheesy sentimental crap like that, and a book of baby names because she's seriously worried that 'Finntana Junior' has stuck in his head for good. She filled the rest of his Christmas sack with wrapped up socks to mess with him and its completely hilarious watching him try to cover up his disappointment. It's even funnier when she tells him to go in the spare room and he nearly faints at the sight of the electric drum kit she's had hidden in there for the last 10 days.

* * *

><p>She's unable to tear him away from the kit for the rest of the morning and when she pulls the plug and tells him they're going to be late for his mother's he basically nearly cries.<p>

Normally she'd find the idea of spending the holiday with her boyfriend's family completely daunting but she loves the Hummel-Hudson household and pregnant or not Finn would probably dump her ass on the spot for suggesting the alternative of staying in her apartment and having Chinese take-out for Christmas dinner. Plus it gets her out of seeing her own family so this is actually the best plan ever.

She's been around his family plenty since first meeting them but she still feels nervous sitting in the passenger seat of his car on the drive up.

She doesn't know if Finn told them about Patrick. She figures he probably did and she doesn't blame him. In fact she knows she deserves the wrath of an angry protective mother. But facing the wrath, and seeing Kurt for the first time in years and then dropping the whole pregnancy bomb on them all feels a little bit like suicide.

Finn's too blinded by the childish joy of Christmas to even contemplate that any of this could go badly, but Santana's got the best cab service in Ohio on speed dial ready to haul her ass out of there in preparation for the worst...

He sends her up to ring the doorbell alone while he unloads the presents from the back his car and she trudges her way up to the front door as if he just sent her to her execution. For a fleeting moment she considers yelling 'I'm with child' and ducking as the door flings open but she just stands there as the unpredictable happens and Carole pulls her in for a typical Hudson style bear hug.

* * *

><p>After they get settled into the house and exchange Christmas greetings and general chit-chat she realizes everything's as perfect as always. Maybe he didn't actually tell them anything. It's weird. She should be feeling relieved about it but she can't help but feel sick with guilt. Maybe it's just morning sickness or something, but there's just this huge burdening feeling inside of her and its impossible to look Carole in the eyes without feeling completely shamed.<p>

When Burt and Carole slip off to the kitchen to check on the dinner she asks Finn about it as they sit relaxed on the couch.

"Hey, um, did you not tell your mom about… Patrick?"

"No I did… I kind of needed someone to vent to." He adds as if it needs justifying.

"But, why is she being so nice to me?"

"Because… she knows I love you. And I explained it all, like why you did it and how sorry you are and she's just happy that we worked it out."

"But-"

"Look my mom's a very wise and forgiving person. And she loves you so, it's all in the past."

He scoots closer to her across the couch and places a reassuring hand on her knee. She's still kind of stunned though.

Carole Hudson must be the most incredible woman in the world.

He senses her built up tension and moves an arm around her small frame for extra comfort.

"Is that why you've been acting all weird and nervous?"

"Well, yeah I was expecting your mom to roast and calve me up for Christmas dinner!"

He chuckles and she finally starts to relax.

"I think you're safe. But speaking of expecting, I'm gonna tell them that you are, _expecting_, right after we've opened presents. Is that cool?"

She tenses up again but this time it's just general nervousness rather than fear. She gives him a willing nod and a smile and a look of ecstasy breaks out on his face.

"I can't wait to tell her. She's going to be so excited!"

At that point the unmistakable voice of Kurt Hummel breaks out from the doorway to the hall.

"Well I'll be damned. The devil herself in my house on Christmas, I feel like I'm in a Tim Burton movie."

She smirks.

"Well you're certainly dressed to be in a Tim Burton movie."

He smirks back.

"First of all this jumpsuit is an original Kurt Hummel that's in line to take over the world, second of all you haven't changed a bit and thirdly, I cannot believe you are dating my brother! How did this happen, you have to tell me everything."

She raises an eyebrow at Finn.

"It's a pretty long story…"

"No it's not." Finn quips relaxing into the couch, his arm still draped across her shoulder. "I got hit by a car, she felt sorry for me, I moved in, she couldn't resist me or take no for an answer so she persisted, and persisted and persisted until I finally gave in and became her boyfriend!"

She smirks again.

"Yeah and then he told that story so I dumped his sorry ass, crushed his nads with my foot and then he begged forgiveness and promised to be my bitch for life and here we are."

As Kurt squeezes himself onto the couch next to her wanting to know the real story from start to finish and she swears she hears Carole burst into laughter from the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Finn heads off with Burt to check out some new car engine thing in the garage and after devouring a whole plate of mince pies (she snatched the first one out of Finn's hands after telling him to wait for dinner but then proceeded to eat it herself because she's starving and pregnant and that's all she needs to justify with), she heads off to join Kurt and Carole in the kitchen.<p>

"I don't know about you guys but I am ready to get this Christmas started properly!" Carole exclaims, hunting through the cupboards for wine glasses and alcohol.

"Ooh yes!" Kurt agrees bringing over an expensive looking bottle he brought into the kitchen earlier. "One of France's finest wines, I brought it over from Paris myself. It is just divine, although two glasses and you'll probably start praising Finn's collection of puffy vests. Someone seriously needs to tell him the flood isn't coming. Here." He adds pouring three glasses and handing one to Santana.

"Oh no thanks. I'm not much of a wine drinker." She tries to wave him off as casually as possible without raising suspicion but Kurt of course doesn't buy it.

"Pah. Okay Santana."

"No really I'm fine, I'll stick to water-"

"-Come on when have you ever been one to say no. I promise it's the best in the galaxy!"

She can feel her cheeks flush as she struggles to think of a valid excuse that can get her out of drinking without revealing she's pregnant. But Kurt's annoyingly insistent.

"Water's fine Kurt-"

"Oh come on just a little sip-"

"No Kurt I really can't!"

There's a sudden loud gasp from Carole and Santana freezes. The look on both their faces says it all.

Carole slowly places a hand on Santana's shoulder and quietly asks,

"Are you?..."

Fuck. She's completely cornered.

"…Okay yes but-" Carole explodes with a weird shriek and Santana instantly tries to calm her down as Kurt finally clues in.

"Ssh, no sssh! Finn's going to kill me if he finds out I told you first!"

"You're pregnant! You and Finn are going to have a baby?" Kurt practically yells in shock.

She smacks her hands to her face in complete bewilderment as to what's happening and how she can control it.

"Yes but you have to pretend you don't know because Finn's been planning this moment for weeks-"

"-A baby? Like an actual human child?"

Kurt's still in shock and Carole's…. well Carole's on the verge of hysteria and Santana's just lost in the middle and of course Finn makes a perfectly timed entrance with Burt.

"You told them about the baby?" he cries with slight anger and disappointment.

Her eyes widen and she chokes, but luckily Kurt breaks out of his shock and turns on his best acting skills.

"Why yes she did tell us about the baby, the baby…. Jesus, who, according to Santana rode to Bethlehem inside Mary's womb on a Llama. Which made us all burst into laughter hence why Carol is crying so hysterically."

Finn turns to look at Carole and Santana and Kurt just exchange mutual 'what the fuck' faces as they realize how ridiculously stupid that attempt of a cover up was.

Of course Finn buys it.

"Geez mom. Way to laugh at my girlfriend's culture. I mean just because she was raised as a Hispanic to believe they rode on a llama doesn't mean it's wrong and you can laugh at her, does it babe?"

Everyone's staring at her. Except for Kurt who's just looking at Finn with his eyebrows raised in disbelief at his gullibility. She clears her throat and slowly offers,

"At Hispanic Sunday school we were taught the words to the song were 'little llama.'

Kurt purses his lips to prevent a laugh escaping them and Finn turns back to a now much calmer Carole.

"See, mom I think you should apologize."

Carole gathers her poise and takes a step towards her.

"Honey I am very sorry. I've just been waiting to celebrate the birth of… a baby Jesus for a long time… and while there are shocking parts to the tale, like how soon Mary got pregnant and how it was out of wedlock, the important bit of the story is how amazing the celebration of birth is and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be able to share the celebration with."

Carole pulls her into a mother's hug and if they weren't in the midst of such a muddled situation Santana would probably have burst into tears of relief and gratitude.

Finn looks on at the scene with a wide grin, completely clueless.

"Aw.. cool. Now that race war's averted is it nearly dinner mom because I'm starving!"

* * *

><p>After dinner Finn finally makes his rehearsed announcement of the pregnancy and Kurt and Carole do amazing jobs in feigning surprise. The girls then spend the rest of the day talking about pregnancy and Santana swallows up all the information Carole offers her. Honestly the woman's a human gold-mine of advice and Santana relaxes with the knowledge that Carole will no doubt be there for her throughout the rest of the pregnancy and of course undoubtedly become the world's greatest grandmother…<p>

They break out the family board games and at first she thinks that the vast amount they have probably qualifies them to be studied by therapists or scientists, but as the evening winds down her competitive nature takes over and she ends up practically begging Kurt for another round of boggle.

After that comes the Christmas karaoke and while she and Finn bring the house down with a duet of 'Jingle Bell Rock', Carole undoubtedly takes the biscuit for her hilarious and completely wasted version of 'Santa Baby' that she dedicates and serenades to… the Christmas tree.

Finn then requests Santana teach them the Hispanic version of 'Little Donkey' and Kurt almost has an aneurism from laughing so hard.

* * *

><p>The drive home's substantially calmer and happier than the drive up and the majority is spent in a content, reflective silence.<p>

When they get back to the apartment she automatically begins kicking off her shoes and heads towards the living room. She stops after realizing that Finn is still stood leaning against the front door, staring at her with this wide-eyed look of wonder.

"What?" she asks him coyly.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that this is the best Christmas ever."

She raises an eyebrow and goes to meet his outstretched arms.

"Yeah?"

Sliding her fingers through the edges of his button-up shirt she flicks her hair back to look at him, as his arms tie around her lower back.

"Yeah. But I also have a feeling that next year's going to be even better."

He rests their foreheads together to gaze into her eyes for a little while and a huge smirk breaks out on her face as she starts pulling him away from the door and towards the bedroom.

"Mm well this one's not quite over yet. Giddy up little llama because you've still got one last present to unwrap!" …


	31. Abandoned and Banned

Brittney comes back in the new year and its awesome having her around as always. Finn and Brittney are easily the two most calming and comforting people she's ever met in her life so having them both together under one roof at a time like this is pretty much the equivalent of a giant dose of valium...

* * *

><p>A few weeks later she and Finn are having lunch (well, technically it's her third lunch, damn food cravings!) when Puck calls and tells them to meet him a couple of blocks away.<p>

They're standing hand in hand in the middle of the street next to Puck looking up at this abandoned and shady looking building.

"What am I supposed to be looking at? Besides a building that looks like it just barely survived the zombie apocalypse…" Finn asks incredibly confused.

Puck explains. "Did you know that Andy's a business major? And not just a business major but like, a really good one?"

Finn shakes his head. He had no clue.

"Well, this is going to be his first business. And it's also going to be yours, mine and Brittney's!"

Puck smiles smugly but Finn and Santana are still confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"When we were hanging out the other day Britt mentioned that she wanted to be a dance teacher for kids. Now, she's already got the credentials she just needs the space and the brains behind it. Then it hit me that Andy has the brains for this stuff and this is perfect space."

Finn gives this look like his brain is physically hurting him trying to figure it all out.

"You want me, you and Andy to become dance teachers with Brittney?... Are you high?"

"No dumbass. This building has two floors. We could turn one floor into a dance studio for Britt and the other into a music store. Guitars, drums, keyboards… the works! A real, old school, rock and roll emporium."

Santana gets it.

"You mean like selling instruments?"

"Instruments, CD's, sheet music, t-shirts… everything." Puck confirms.

Finn finally clicks.

"Dude that's genius!"

"Plus there's this huge like office space that we could use as a nursery room for bringing the kids to work with us until they get older and we have enough capitol to install a recording booth or something."

They both start getting carried away talking animatedly about all the possibilities but she's just stood there frowning. It's kind of a good idea but they're both a couple of idiots who need her to be the brain and voice of reason.

"Guys hold on. Seriously think about this for a second."

"What's there to think about?" Puck asks with arrogance instead of ignorance.

"Um, ok. Well for starters, how about how the hell are you going to afford buying the building? And then how are you going to afford turning the building into something that doesn't resemble a used up crack den?"

Puck shrugs. "We'll get a loan."

"No bank in their right mind would give out a loan to you idiots."

"Well then we'll sue their punk asses."

"You can't just sue a bank."

Finn disagrees.

"You can if you fall over in one and badly injure yourself. I saw it in a commercial. You can sue anything if you fall down."

"No you-"

"-Oh Santana!" Puck growls in frustration. "Look, Brittney's got loads of cash so she can pay for the whole bottom floor herself, and between Finn, me and Andy I'm sure we can get enough to somehow pay for the top I mean look at it, it can't be that expensive."

She sighs. It's hard arguing with Puck, he always seems to know the answers. It surprises them all when Finn comes up with one.

"I could ask Kurt."

"Kurt?"

"His new fashion line's raking in tons of money, and over the holidays he did tell me he was looking to invest in stuff."

"There we go. My old boy Kurt can chip in and we can fix it all up ourselves." Puck's face lights up even further as he claps Finn on the back but she's still not done being the worrier.

"But what if it takes years to fix up? And then what happens if it's a huge failure? Finn's got a baby on the way and you know how his baby mamma's one hell of a crazy ass bitch!"

Puck smiles and rolls his eyes turning to Finn.

"It's not going to be a huge failure. Dude we have breathed music our entire lives. You and me we're the heart and soul of this operation, Andy's the brains and Brittney's the body, which makes us one fine unstoppable unit. I know I've convinced you to make bad mistakes in the past but think about it bro, this is the perfect opportunity for us to be involved with something we love and be steady, settled dads to the kids we love. Andy's in, Britt's in, I'm in... it's just you dude."

Finn stands there looking hopelessly between her and Puck. She can tell he wants to say yes, and maybe this is actually an amazing idea but she just needs him to think about it before rushing in.

His brain looks like it's exploding again but he just squeezes her hand extra tight before turning back to Puck.

"Find out the asking price, work out the smaller details and I'll think about it. If Santana and I agree it's a good deal then I'll talk to Kurt."

It's not exactly the perfect answer he was hoping for but it seems to satisfy Puck enough. Doesn't stop him from mocking him though.

"_Santana and I_? Gee, whipped much Hudson?"

She moves Finn's hand so that his arm is wrapped around her shoulder and gives an award-winning smirk.

"Single much Puck?"

* * *

><p>It's Valentine's Day.<p>

The most dreaded day of the year. And technically their one-year anniversary.

Finn does well to book them a table at their beloved breadsticks but due to their clash in schedules they have to arrange to meet there. It's the first they've seen of each other all day which really bums Finn out because it meant he had to miss one of her doctor's appointments for the first time.

He's bummed out even further when the date turns into a disaster and they're both storming back to the apartment with Finn in a boiled rage.

"Calm down Finn." she casually asserts, wobbling her way into the living room trying to take her heels off.

"You got us banned from breadsticks. Banned from breadsticks!" he cries, crashing himself down onto the couch whilst angrily yanking off his tie.

"Relax it's just for a month and we just go to the Lima one until then."

"But I had a whole romantic thing planned which took me weeks to prepare and we didn't even get past the starters!"

"Well that bitch shouldn't have asked when I was due. How dare she have the nerve to assume I was pregnant!"

"You _are_ pregnant!"

"Well she shouldn't know that yet!"

"No. You shouldn't have tried strangling her with the breadstick heart I had made for you!"

She throws her clutch onto the couch beside him.

"She basically called me fat Finn!" she exclaims like its the worst possible thing in the entire universe.

"You used to call me fat all the time in high school and yet I don't remember pouring milkshake down your cleavage and trust me, I would've remembered that."

"Quit being such a baby, you should be on my side."

"No _you_ need to quit being such a baby and realize that you are having a baby. You're putting on weight and you know what, you're going to put on even more and even more and even a little bit extra because the doctor said it's better for a woman your size to gain as much weight as possible. You're gonna get fat! Deal with it."

"_You_ deal with it!" she retorts immaturely as they switch places with him brushing past her towards the bedroom and her heading towards the couch. He turns back towards her exasperated.

"I've dealt with it. I already love it! You deal with it!"

"Oh schmu schmeal smith schmit!"

He rolls his eyes at her and she tries her best to keep a solid face despite being completely embarrassed by her last retort.

"Nice. You're ruined Valentines day. Again. Happy Anniversary." he jabs sarcastically, going to through his jacket in the bedroom and she slumps down on the couch in a strop.

"Urgh this is all your fault. Well no I guess it's her fault. Quit making me fat!" She yells at her stomach.

Finn boomerangs back to the living room looking like he's just been shot but she doesn't notice as she goes on to mumble to herself.

"Although no actually it is your daddy's fault..."

"Wait '_her'_ fault? It's a girl?... We're having a girl?"

"Of course it's a girl. Do you know how easy it would've been to have a boy? Girls are crazy trust me I grew up as one, boys are simple. As if you and I would be that lucky."

She smiles ironically and looks up at him. And as he starts sinking slowly to perch on the coffee table opposite her, she remembers that he had no idea.

His eyes are glazed over as she tries looking into them, leaning forward on the couch to place her hands on his knees.

"Oh my god baby I'm so sorry. They told me this morning and I was going to tell you at dinner… crap why do I always blurt these things out!"

She's such an idiot.

She runs a hand through her hair in shame and waits for him to finally blink.

It takes him a while and then he finally looks at her.

"I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I got us kicked out of breadsticks…"

He laughs through his nose and shakes his head rapidly, leaning forward to grip the tops of her arms.

"I don't care… I don't care about breadsticks, or how useless you are at big occasions or at telling people important stuff... I don't care that a boy would've been easier. We're going to have a beautiful baby girl who's going to look just like you with you're eyes and dark hair but with my nose and dimples. And she's probably going to have your temper and stubbornness and your appetite but she's going to have me wrapped right round her little finger from the get go and it's totally going to drive you crazy as she gets older because even though she's going to learn the art of manipulation from her mother she's going to use it on me to undermine you..."

He speaks so fast it takes her a while to compute all that he just said and before she even has time to do that, he pulls her off the couch and onto his lap, squeezing his arms around her.

It's a bewildering moment for her however somewhere in the midst of all that it suddenly dawns on her the way it just dawned on him.

She smiles beginning to picture the little girl he just described but pulls away from him when she realizes there's something wrong.

"You're wrong. She's going to have _my_ nose and _your_ eyes."

He grins goofily, placing a hand to her stomach and she begins entwining her fingers through the back of his hair.

"Either way, she's going to be the cutest baby invented."

"Damn straight. And the most troublesome…"

"Just like her mom."

The thought's not really something to laugh at but as he pulls her down for a kiss that's exactly what she finds herself doing...


	32. Spiderbaby

**Apologies for the delay! Will certainly be updating more quickly now. Thank you so much for all the reviews so far. I wasn't planning on making this such a long story but you guys have been so nice i might just have to try out for the longest fic ever award! Thanks again to all reads/reviews. Hope y'all enjoy and i don't disappoint! :D**

* * *

><p>She calls her parents that night and finally tells them that she's pregnant.<p>

She might as well have just told them she won $10 on a lotto card for their lack of enthusiasm.

Maybe that's not fair...

There was a slight hint of joy but just nothing compared to the way Finn's family reacted. But it's ok, she's used to their lack of effort and she's actually one of the last of her wider family to have a kid so it's not that huge of a deal on her side. As ever they attempt to compensate their lack of enthusiasm and involvement with another cheque in the post. Only this time it's addressed to Finn and this time it's for a record breaking $50,000. This one leaves them both stunned.

She tells him to rip it up. He tells her to ignore her pride and think about what they could do with it, what their baby girl could do with it. In the end it gets locked in a drawer and they agree neither will do anything until they figure out a mutual decision.

* * *

><p>The next couple of months fly by incredibly smoothly. Her second trimester's definitely proving to be the easiest now that her morning sickness is gone and her hormones are generally back in balance and she's taking her drastic weight gain in her stride like a boss.<p>

Finn decides to go ahead with Puck's business proposition and once he reminds her that she and the baby still come first whatever, she gives him her full support. Kurt agrees to help out with investment and Andy proves his worth as a business major by sorting out all the important details so the project goes ahead full speed. Finn keeps his bar work and balances it well with helping out with the store but it means he has to work alternate nights, which would totally suck if Brittney weren't now around permanently to keep her company...

* * *

><p>He takes her out shopping after one of her most stressful cases at work finally comes to a conclusion, and to Finn's utter shock she finds herself heading straight for the baby stores, completely ignoring her own usual retail therapy outlets.<p>

The two of them spend at least an hour towering up an entire shopping cart with toys and clothes and general baby stuff that won't be needed for months yet, but it makes her feel better knowing she's at least _physically_ equipped to deal with a baby.

She's in the clothes section, deliberating whether the tiny t-shirt with 'SWAG' printed across it is plain badass or plain tacky. She decides it's tacky. Which wouldn't be a problem except they've already filled the cart with tacky sloganed bibs and enough is enough.

They spent ages searching through the bib section. It was too funny.

In the end she picked out cute ones that said things like '_50% mommy, 50% daddy, 100% perfect!'_ and '_I'm cute. Mom's cute. Daddy's lucky'_ and_ 'My mom and I 'heart' drummers'_.

He chose a Star Wars one that said 'Stormpooper'.

When Finn suddenly comes back into her vision after disappearing for a while to take a pressing phone call from Puck about something to do with the music store or whatever, he's got this excited look on his face that tells her he's found another 'precious' item.

"Check it out!" he exclaims enthusiastically waving a leather mitt in front of her face as she puts the swag shirt back on the rack.

She raises an eyebrow.

"A baseball glove?"

"To carry the kid around in…"

He's wearing this dappy smile but she knows he's deadly serious. She just scowls.

"What? It's big and cozy, it's got a good grip… My mom told me my dad used to carry me around in one of these all the time and he only dropped my once."

"Obviously from a very high distance landing you directly on your skull. I don't know much about parenting but I know enough to guess that you're not supposed to treat a baby like a baseball. Go put it back Finn."

His face breaks into a small pout.

"But… I want it."

She rolls her eyes as her head tilts to the side.

His puppy dog pout is ridiculously pathetic.

And she's totally ashamed that she can never resist it.

"Ugh fine, but that's the last treat you're getting today and our daughter is not going anywhere near that thing."

"Yay I love you."

Throwing the glove in the cart he gives her an enthusiastic peck on the cheek and together they proceed walking around the store, him pushing the cart with her trapped between him and the bar.

"Ooh reins. We'll definitely need these. Our rugrat's gonna be running riot all over the place... I could probably do with some for my boobs too. Have you seen how huge they've gotten recently? Look at them, I could build property on these puppies!"

She purposefully starts bouncing up and down to bring evidence to her statement and he promptly puts his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, quietly murmuring in her ear,

"Why don't you show me later? You're causing a lot of perverts to walk into stuff right now."

He's not kidding. About 3 guys just crashed their carts staring in awe.

"So where are we gonna put all this stuff?" he asks tentatively as they begin walking away from the scene she just caused.

"I've been thinking and I don't really see how we can raise a baby productively in your fourth floor apartment. Push chairs and stairs don't really go…"

She stops the cart and purses her lips together before looking up at him. She's been waiting for him to bring this up for ages.

"Yeah I've been thinking about that too actually. Come on, let's go pay for this, I want to show you something." ….

* * *

><p>"What do you think?" she asks optimistically once they finally get to the thing she wants him to see.<p>

"Of that house?" he asks with wide-eyed perplexity.

"No, that ant climbing that blade of grass in front of the giant house." She jokes sarcastically as he just stands there in awe.

"It looks just like the house I grew up in as a kid."

"It's cute right? I've notice it every time I've drive past it for work and last week I noticed the 'for sale' sign so I took a quick peek. It looks small from out here but there's a decent back yard and the kitchen's small too but it's not as if we ever actually cook anyways. The baby could have her own room and I'll have space for an office and we could park on the drive and put your drums in the garage. It's a dead-end street so there's not many cars or fast drivers and we're in prime location for the choice of all the best schools in the area. I know it's further away from your work but it's closer to the hospital and I'm sure you know this already but breadsticks is in walking distance. Walking, distance. Plus I've always wanted a picket fenced house ever since I first read Tom Sawyer. I don't really know why…. What?"

He's looking at her with this huge grin and she suddenly finds herself feeling embarrassed, realizing that she totally just babbled on like a kid on a sugar high.

"Nothing. You're just adorable."

His grin is ridiculously sly at this point and it annoys the fuck out of her. He always gets like this. Whenever she accidently lets her guard down he pounces on it with his Cheshire cat grin and purposefully makes her feel like even more of a total girl. Their relationship works best when it's her teasing him, not the other way around.

She scoffs at him.

"Shut up."

"No you are. I mean, look at you, being all grown-upy and thoughtful…"

He knows exactly what he's doing as he places an arm tightly around her shoulder and it works perfectly in winding her up.

"What we have to think about these things… Oh screw you!" she adds with a playful elbow to his rib cage.

He half laughs, half chuckles in pain before wrapping both arms around her, trapping her in a signature Hudson bear hug.

"Aw honey. It sounds perfect. But, how would.. do you know how pricey this would be?"

"I may have made a small, curious phone call. It's in our budget, just. I mean, things might be a little tight at first, especially with the music store still in the middle of being a hot damn mess, but I was thinking that we could use my dad's money. Just to help us out for a while."

"I thought you didn't want to ever use that money. In fact I believe the phrase you used was that you'd rather have an orgy with the old guys at the homeless shelter."

"I know but, look at it… It's just so…"

She struggles to find the words but he just nuzzles their temples together as she crosses her arms over the ones he now has wrapped around her now obviously expanded waist.

"Us?" he interjects for her.

"Exactly."

"I could ask Kurt, maybe he could give us-"

She twists in his arms to face him as she interrupts,

"No, Kurt has given enough for you already. I know he's loaded but your family have been amazing throughout these last few months to last us a lifetime. It's the Lopez's turn."

She stars playing with the strings on his hoody and he beams down at her with pride, smoothing her bangs out of her face.

He knows how much she wanted to rip that cheque up. And he loves her for being big enough to put them and the baby first.

And she kind of loves how obvious he is about it.

"Besides, we'll only have to use the money temporarily. I'll pay them back eventually…"

He just nods and gives her a kiss before freeing her from his arms in order to entwine their fingers and lead her towards the house.

"Then, I think you should give me the inside tour…"

* * *

><p>He wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of two girly and incredibly loud shrieks coming from the bathroom, the loudest of which unmistakably Santana's.<p>

"Aaah!"

"What? What!"

He stumbles his way to the bathroom with impressive speed despite his half conscious state causing him to head butt a wall and smash his shins into the couch on his way over.

"Tarantula!" Brittney cries from within the bathroom as Santana just starts pacing the area just outside the door.

"What?" he asks confused.

"I woke up because I needed the bathroom and I found Britt standing on the toilet. So I asked if she forgot how to pee again and she said she saw a spider, I turned on the light and this huge, _huge_ tarantula beast just ran across the floor like an arachnid Forest Gump."

He gives a short sighs in relief before harshly rubbing his eyes, trying to adjust to the scene. He's still confused.

"…I thought Forest Gump didn't have legs?"

"…No Forest Gump after he learned to run. You know, 'run Forest run", because he was really fast at- no focus Finn! There are women and babies at stake here and my bladder's going to give out at any moment and I have no idea how long Britt's been here."

"-I fell asleep for a while but I've pretty much been here since 10.30 when I came in to get ready for bed…"

It's now 1 am.

"Oh geez, Finn go!" she exclaims pointing desperately toward the bathroom.

"Go where?"

"In there. Get it!" she asserts, handing him a box of tissues as a weapon.

He lets out a nearly inaudible whimper but she hears it loud enough before he pathetically comments,

"But I don't like spiders…"

"What?"

"You know I don't like spiders! Clowns, horses, girl ghosts, spiders and little insects with wings are my phobias you know that."

She did know that. But now is not the time.

"But Finn, your daughter is practically jumping up and down on by bladder. I _really_ have to pee and Brittney has been standing on top of our toilet for 2 and a half hours! Suck it up. Be a man!"

She really does have to pee so it's perfectly acceptably for her to ignore his protests and push him into the brig. He shouldn't be such a girl anyway.

"Be a man right." He nods trying to psych himself up. "Be a man. You must be swift as a coursing river… with all the force of a great typhoon… with all the strength of a raging fire.. mysterious as-"

"-What are you doing?" she asks quickly with a furrowed brow.

"I'm just pumping myself up."

"By singing Mulan?" she exasperates.

"You said be a man!"

"Yeah I meant be a man like John McClane or Rocky or Bruce Wayne… not Mulan!"

He pauses in the door frame.

"Technically it was Li Shang-"

"-Finn!"

"Alright! But once again you say you're the movie buff but you get all the good ones wrong…." He mutters to himself as she starts jiggling up and down behind him. She really has to pee. But he really doesn't want to go in there.

"Just remind me again why you're not going in there? We all know you're the badass in this relationship."

"Because your unborn baby is kind of preventing me from being as swift as a coursing river with the strength of a raging fire… Although my bladder may prove to have the force of a great typhoon if you don't get Britt off the toilet before I have to relieve myself."

"Plus if the spider bites her it could mutate your baby!" Brittney adds from on top of the toilet.

He pauses again to contemplate this.

"Woah radioactive baby, that would be so cool, like a spiderbaby. Although superhero parents don't really turn out so well-"

"For the love of God Finn get rid of the fucking spider before I pee all over your useless face!"

"Okay okay okay!"

He enters the room. There's a tense silence followed by a scream and heavy banging. When he comes back towards her he's holding the now mangled box of tissues in the air with pride and smiling, despite looking pale as fuck.

"I got it!"

"Thank god!"

Not able to hold it any longer she pushes her way past him without a second look back, not giving a single fuck that Britt has yet to finish up.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later she returns to the bedroom to find him already back in bed, but sitting up waiting for her.<p>

"There's my hero." She comments with a smile as she makes her way towards him.

"Being nice to me now huh?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. You know how snappy I can get when your daughter decides to use my bladder as a stress toy."

She slides under the sheets thinking it's the best feeling in the world as she snuggles up next to him, forcing herself under his arm to rest her head on his chest.

"I've noticed that whenever she does something wrong she's suddenly '_my_ daughter'. Is that how this is gonna work?"

"Uh huh. When she wins the Nobel prize, that's when I'll take credit for her."

"Honey, the Nobel prize? Our offspring? Really?"

"What? She could con a geek out of one..." she adds with zero sarcasm as she begins affectionately drawing shapes across his torso.

"A Nobel prize for manipulation… that sounds more like it. So you feel better now?"

"Much."

She looks up at him with a childish grin but soon twitches in discomfort.

"Ugh."

"What?"

"She's kicking again. Here." She offers sitting up a little to place his hands over her stomach.

It's not the first time he's felt her kick. The first time she'd popped into the bar to visit him in her lunch break and he literally clambered over the bar, breaking 4 glasses in the process to feel it. She'll never forget the look of pure joy and overwhelming on his face. It kind of reminded her of the first time she brought him his favourite cereal from the grocery store over a year ago.

He's wearing the same look on his face again now.

"Yup she definitely has your legs. Just think, somewhere out there is an unsuspecting fetus who in twenty years time will have its shins bruised to death by these very kicking legs, just like mine from her mother's."

She rolls her eyes and tucks herself back under his arm.

The pregnancy thing has gotten scarily realer since she started kicking. It's the weirdest sensation, feeling her move.

She shares all these moments with Finn, and he gets it and makes everything seem even more amazing than it already is, but there's this other bond between her and the baby that he'll never really be able to understand. She never understood it before either. In fact whenever she heard women talk about how being pregnant automatically sets up this unconditional bond between mother and child she figured being pregnant must actually make you permanently high or something.

But she gets it now. And it's weird and completely terrifying, but at the same time, it's kind of making her stronger.

They just lay together peacefully for a while, both sets of hands softly stroking the skin on her stomach.

Thinking about the realness of the situation, she figures it's time to put the next step in motion.

"We should probably start thinking of a name… she can't be Finntana Junior forever!"

He lets out an understanding but disappointed chuckle before leaning over to his bedside drawer and pulling out the book of baby names she got him for Christmas.

"Here. I underlined some of the ones I liked."

She loves how he's always one step ahead with this stuff. But pretty much every other name is underlined.

They start reading through it together. And a few names jump out straight away. Some are just ridiculous and she makes a comment about how she had no idea the book was comedic gold, but of course the ones she laughs hardest at are the ones he underlined most harshly. They agree on a fair handful of ones she likes but every time they think they've found the perfect name, she spots another and it soon becomes harder and harder to decide.

They fall asleep with the book in her hands while his somehow find their way back to their post on top of her stomach.

As she drifts off into sleep the last thought on her mind is that their poor child may just have to grow up with the name Finntana Junior...


	33. Bad Timing

She spends the last few weeks before her maternity leave completely engrossed in her work and he kind of gets pissed off at her for it.

They haven't had a lot of quality time together for a while and between baby dramas, the music store and the impending move to the house, there's a lot of stress going around and he's insistent that she shouldn't be adding her work to the equation.

She likes that he's protective over her and she can't be mad at him for wanting to spend time together but… she loves her job. She's super proud at how hard she worked to get to where she is and when it comes down to it, the thought of trading it in for weeks of sitting on her ever-expanding ass all day, just waiting for the impending trauma of labor, doesn't exactly thrill her.

So when she comes home and declines his invitation to watch some baseball game on TV with him because she has to work, she ignores the exaggerated huff that erupts from him as he turns his attention back to the TV with a brooding look on his face that will probably last the whole night...

* * *

><p>On top of that they start going to these baby classes that his mom advises them to. She thinks the whole thing is a joke. It's basically a room full of patronizing and over-the-top "nice" couples who all talk about childbirth like it's a free day out to the spa. Finn makes her play along at first but when the leader starts criticizing his every move in her hugely annoying, patronizing princess-fairy tone, he soon starts to hate it as much as she does. Even more rather, because he starts taking her criticisms to heart and basically goes home after every class feeling like he's going to be the worst dad in the world. It's not his fault. In her eyes he's doing everything right and exactly the same as every other guy in the class but somehow the teacher just has it in for him. She tries to pick him up about it, but he just gets more and more depressed…<p>

* * *

><p>They go for lunch after this one class and there's this young busboy who accidently bumps into her while she's making her way back from the bathroom and it takes Finn all of two seconds to pin the kid up against the wall by his throat. She's able to drag him outside before he does any real damage and she excels in her mission to take him home, calm him down and get him to talk.<p>

It's been ages since he last lost his temper like this but luckily she knows exactly how to drain the anger from his eyes and it's not long before he's back to his gentle-giant self. He tells her the jerk deserved it for endangering her and the baby but they both know the kid barely touched her and she knows all the reasons why he's really stressed out. So she makes up an excuse for work, asks Brittney to hang out at Puck's for a while and the two of them shut the world out for the rest of the day...

They talk and she unashamedly starts bitching about their group leader to make him feel better about it and when the baby starts kicking on perfect cue, she convinces him it's a sign that his daughter loves him already and it's the first time she sees him really smile for weeks. Then they just watch movies and eat whatever her cravings tell him to fetch from the cupboards. It's such a simple way to spend an afternoon but it's just what they needed and as he draws her attention away from the final twenty minutes of 'Inception' by kissing her up and down her neck, she realizes it's been a miracle cure.

Everything about their sex life has changed since she told him she was pregnant. It's the thing she misses most about her old life. He's still plenty affectionate and keeps her satisfied, but everything's always slow and overly cautious and as her baby bump has grown and grown over the weeks, so too has the level of awkwardness.

She's lying back on the couch and he's trying to slide himself on top of her without actually being on top of her and he accidently lets out a sigh as he pauses because of the 'obstacle'. She lets out a frustrated groan that terrifies him slightly and sits up completely, moving her arms to fold across her chest.

"What's the matter?" he asks as she irately looks away from him.

"What do you think's the matter?" she spits dejectedly.

They both know exactly what the matter is but it's like he's too afraid to say it, so for once he feigns confusion, leaving her to be the one to explode.

"_This_ is the matter!" she exclaims pointing rapidly between her and the space he's leaving between their bodies.

"Can you remember the last time we had sex? I mean, the last time we _really _had sex?"

"Yeah I think it was about the time we made _that_ happen." He smirks pointing to her baby bump.

She sighs, half in humor and half in genuine sadness.

"Don't you miss it? Because I'm kind of going out of my mind so you must have thought about hanging a noose by now."

He laughs as she fists her hands into her hair. Then he just looks at her with a mixture of sympathy and adoration.

"Yeah of course I miss it. And I know you're super uncomfortable right now and I wish there was something I could do to help but… it's just for a few more months. And then we can have a lifetime of endless sex, the way it used to be, if not better."

He grabs her wrists down from on top of her head and starts brushing the tops of her thumbs with his. She looks down at her stomach dejectedly but he continues looking straight at her with a smile.

"I promise. We're not going to be one of those couples that have a kid and then stop having sex…"

He somehow leans forward to kiss the end of her nose and she loves it when he does that because it's kind of their thing, but she just looks back up at him with a concerned pout.

..."What if you don't find me sexy like you used to to…"

It comes out embarrassed and quiet and he's genuinely stunned.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well I already look like a whale in a wig and false eyelashes and then-"

"-I think you've never looked sexier." He interrupts with sincerity.

She glares at him.

"You're a big fat liar."

"No I'm not. Just maybe take these broken bits of Doritos out of your hair and there we go, Santana sex-queen Lopez returns."

She pouts again. Her eating manners have pretty much gone down the drain since her appetite increased for two. Somehow he finds it adorable.

"I've never seen you when you haven't looked super hot. Not once."

He kisses her intently and it looks like her self-esteem finally restores as she begins smirking and quips an eyebrow.

"What about that time I went out for drinks with Britt and came home, practically passed out and vomited on my face?…."

He smiles. Yeah, that was gross…

"Not even then."

"Ok now I know you're lying."

He laughs.

"Baby. You are super, super, smoking hot. You're my sex puma remember?"

He leaves a trail of kisses up her arms and along her neck and by the time his lips reach hers she's smiling like a lunatic.

She's so going to reward him for this when she's no longer a blimp…

* * *

><p>Britt comes home around midnight.<p>

The girl can dance with more grace than a swan but she can't walk from the front door to the spare room without sounding like Duckzilla.

As he starts stirring he soon realizes that he's detached from human contact and slowly starts to wake himself up so he can find out where his sleeping partner's gone. He turns on the bedside lamp to be scared shitless by the sudden sight of Britt standing in the doorway.

He buries his head in his pillows from the shock of the light and the blonde.

"Brittney? The fuck.. what are you doing?"

She doesn't respond. And when he looks back up at her face it's enough to bolt him out of bed and over to her.

She's shaking and pale and her head is too paralyzed with fear and dread to let her mouth work.

"Santana…" she stutters. "I found her in the bathroom. She says she's fine but she's not."

He runs to the bathroom so fast you'd think he teleported and almost stumbles back when he sees her hunched over in clear agony.

There's blood. A lot of it. And the scene makes his whole world stop for what seems like a year.

In reality it's only a few seconds before he's snapped back to the situation and crouched down by her side.

"San? What's wrong baby what happened?"

She lifts her head a little to look at him and inhales deeply.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I'm just.. bleeding a little."

"How long have you been here?"

"Not long. I just need to clean up and then I'll come back to bed."

She's shaking and there's sweat pouring off her face and he can tell she's more terrified than she's ever been in her whole life. Which is why she's in denial.

"Okay, we're gonna. I'm gonna take you to the hospital."

"I don't need a hospital I –"

She winces in pain and doubles over. He doesn't need any more evidence.

"Okay baby, we're going to go to the hospital now okay... Everything's going to be fine we just need to go see a doctor person and they can, they can just double check. Okay?"

She nods and he grabs as many towels as he can carry as he helps her to her feet. It's clear she's not strong enough though so he lifts her into his arms as gently as possible.

Their faces are calm but their hearts are both pounding so hard you can basically feel the vibrations in the room.

She lets out a whimper that stops him in his tracks and she finally breaks a little.

"Finn… I-"

"-I know baby."

He knows that she wanted to end that sentence with 'I'm scared', but he'll completely crumble if he hears her say it.

"But everything's going to be fine." ...

* * *

><p>The journey to the hospital is a complete blur.<p>

She can only really remember noises. The sounds of beeping machines, rushed wheels and Finn's voice in a sea of crowded voices. She can remember hearing him yell at the staff to go faster and then him telling the nurse about the busboy and she can't even count how many times he issued the phrase 'everything's going to be fine' over and over to her.

They sounded less convincing as they got closer to the hospital…

* * *

><p>Everything does turn out fine.<p>

It had nothing to do with the busboy – she knew that anyway, it was just Finn being paranoid. The doctor explains it all fully to them in medical terms but all they really get from it is that it was just one of those random things.

No particular rhyme or reason. And thankfully, no consequence. The baby's fine and so is she.

They make her stay until the morning for observation. Not that she needed making – she passes out from the exhaustion and trauma of it all as soon as she hears the good news.

Finn on the other hand stays awake the whole night. Just sits at her bedside, watching her sleep, leaving only once to call Brittney and tell her everything's fine. When he returns to his seat after the phone call, he cries a little.

Just sits there, alone, gently sobbing with the thought of what could have happened.

He squeezes her hand a little hard while he does but it doesn't wake her.

And in the morning he doesn't tell her that he broke down…

* * *

><p>When she wakes up in the morning she's immediately back to her own-self and it's barely even an act. Last night was the scariest thing she's ever gone through and remembering how scary it all was just makes her appreciate that everything's fine.<p>

She can tell Finn's not in the same mind-set yet. He looks sad and pissed off at the world and she can tell he hasn't slept a wink because he looks like shit.

She wants to talk to him but unfortunately she only has time to tell him he looks like shit before the doctor walks in to begin the morning check ups.

She passes all the tests and they do a quick sonogram. The doctor leaves to give them a moment. He hasn't said anything since last night so she decides to break the tension with humor.

"Look at her!" she exclaims softly, pointing towards the monitor. "I swear she just flipped me the bird… Take that mom I'm your problem child already!" she jokes sarcastically. "Just for that I'm going to hide her birth certificate after she's born, so she grows up with the fear that she was adopted."

He grunts at her joke but it's more of an accident. She can't take him being this distant. Turning to look at him properly, she compassionately asks,

"You okay?"

He leans forward, takes his hand away from its hold around his jaw and locks eyes with her intently before blurting out,

"Marry me."

She stops breathing.

Neither of them blink.

"What?"

His face softens a little and a weird enthusiasm breaks out.

"We should get married. I don't want to lose you…"

She finally breathes and the new oxygen in her brain allows it to start working again. And as it fires up into overtime, so too does her defense system.

She can't deal with this now.

"Finn, I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere so, panic over."

His face falls in confusion.

"So your answer is no."

"You didn't even ask a question."

It's true he gave a demand and a statement. She makes him realize this and he falters.

"I.."

"You haven't slept in hours. Let's just go home."

"But I want to marry you-"

"No you don't Finn!" Her voice is now raised and it's clear she's struggling not to freak out completely.

"You got scared and wanted to cover your tracks. Proposing to a girl in a hospital is stupid, especially when I'm walking out of here fine. I mean, as if we don't have enough to deal with..."

…"I love you."

"Well then don't ask me that. Not now, not like this okay…"

He doesn't reply and she starts getting restless in her bed.

"I want to get out of here. Can you go get the doctor so we can go home please."

He sits, frozen forward in his chair as he takes in her whole response. She can tell he wants to say something, maybe a lot of things but her attitude and body language have been sure to let him know the conversation's over for now.

He stands abruptly and heads towards the door before turning back.

"One day. You'll stop running."

He's more angry than upset, like he knows she's holding herself back from saying yes for a really stupid reason that's not really good enough. And she totally is.

But she's also totally right. He's proposing out of fear and she doesn't want look back on their engagement and associate it with what happened last night.

She convinces herself she's in the right enough not to feel any guilt and that before long he'll see that she was right and forget about it.

And then, next time he proposes she'll say yes.

If there is a next time...


	34. A New Era

She's never really used her knocked up state as an excuse to slack off or anything over the course of her pregnancy (in fact she's pretty much been so stubborn she's done the opposite), but when it comes to the prospect of moving house she's happy to cash the bump in for a free pass to avoid heavy lifting.

This leaves Finn and Puck to do everything by themselves while the girls lounge around the new place sipping virgin margaritas and watching 'Jersey Shore' reruns - Britt did try to help out at first, but that ended with Puck nearly getting crushed to death after she took her focus off the thing they were supposed to be carrying together and onto playing with the new baby monitors...

She's recovered pretty well from the drama of the week before but she'd be lying if she said things were perfect. Luckily this whole, moving house thing does well in providing the perfect distraction, as it signals the start of a new era. At least that's what she keeps telling Finn. He buys it and puts on a smile but she knows he's still hurt from his rejected proposal.

They haven't talked about it.

She doesn't know how to bring it up without causing another argument and to be honest she's so conflicted about the whole thing the scariest part is not knowing who would win the argument if they did get into it. She can't imagine ever wanting to be without him but marriage is just so…. Well its marriage. And since she can't explain that to him, she lets him brood and focuses on the thousands of other complications going on in their lives…

Finn and Puck are in the bedroom, setting up the bed and furniture and everything while she and Britt dawdle about in the kitchen making cups of coffee for the two real laborers. Britt starts playing with the baby monitors again and as she switches it on the two girls realize they have the ability to completely eavesdrop on everything the boys are saying and doing upstairs. Without saying a word they simultaneously pull up chairs, crack open the bag of chips idly lying on the kitchen table and listen on with no shame.

It's hilarious entertainment. The two guys argue and bicker about what they're doing and talk about random shit like music and sports and cartoons, completely unaware that the girls are listening through tears downstairs while the coffees they had prepared to bring them freeze, abandoned on the counter.

Things go oddly quiet for a while. In fact too long a while and she almost wonders if the monitors have broken until they suddenly hear Finn explode in a fit of curses when he treads practically bear-foot on a plug of some kind.

Things go quiet again. And then Puck begins a conversation that causes Santana to lean a lot closer to the receiving monitor on the kitchen table.

"Dude what's the matter with you. Why are you so uptight?"

"I'm not." She hears Finn moodily reply.

"Yes you are. You've been pouting for days. Every time you find a dollar in the street or manage to tie your shoelaces correctly with no help that dopey smile of yours gets stuck on your face for weeks on end; now you got a new house, Santana's fine and your first baby's on the way and you're moping like a little bitch! What gives?"

"It's nothing."

She waits with baited breath as the conversation unfolds. There's another string of silence but then she finally hears him spit it out.

"I proposed. In the hospital."

"Ah so you're depressed that the single life is over and the old ball and chain is coming out the closet. I feel for you bro"-

-"She said no."

…"Oh."

She can feel Brittney gazing on at her confused and in shock and but she just stares at the monitor intently, willing it to keep delivering her the conversation from upstairs.

"I don't know. I mean, I guess the timing was kind of wrong but it just kind of slipped out."

"So you dodged a bullet. You should be happy! Marriage is like a disease. Why would you want that?"

"I dunno… Because I want her. Just, her… Forever."

He sounds completely dejected and she can just picture the sad look he's wearing on his face - the one that can break her heart with a single glance.

"Yeah and you have her. So why do you need a piece of paper to confirm it?"

Thank god for Puck. He's saying everything she would be if she were the one having this conversation right now.

"Because I want to be hers. Her guy, you know, her husband. The one person she can depend on for anything. The guy who makes her happy and safe and loved and I want her to know that that's what I intend to dedicate the rest of my life to doing."

…"Geez Finn."

"Yeah yeah I know, and I don't care. I love her."

"So then ask her again, when it's better timing."

"I don't think she's ready. I think the whole thing scares her."

"Well duh. This is Santana we're talking about! Girl's like a CIA agent – walks into a room and spots four potential exits in the first second. Plus look how much she's got going on in her life right now… Don't poke a bear while he's trying to eat."

"What?"

"I'm just saying. It probably won't be good timing for a while. So just wait. She'll come around… She's kind of crazy about you if you hadn't noticed. I know, I don't get it either but, I mean, she's having your baby for crying out loud. And she's actually excited about it!"

She rolls her eyes as Puck casually continues his speech.

"You guys have done everything upside down and backwards but somehow you got her to love you, live with you and frickin procreate with you. You can turn her on to anything… Give her time and she'll come around when she quits fighting herself. Just, propose somewhere where she's not surrounding by diseased and dying people next time".

She smiles softly. Puck is officially her hero... For all of three seconds. Then he spoils it.

"Now quit whining. Unless you'd rather trade in your hammer for a tampon!"

The conversation goes dead after that and she gets up and remakes their coffees while she thinks about just how much she loves both of those guys upstairs.

If Finn actually takes Puck's advice, then this could all work out well.

She brings their coffees up on a tray with some sandwiches and when Finn heads off to the bathroom to wash up, she places a meaningful kiss on Puck's cheek and gives him a wink.

"What was that for?" he asks through a mouthful of bread.

"Just, for being my homeboy."

She catches Finn outside the bathroom and backs him up against the door, kissing him heavily with delicate hands attached to his surprised face. He murmurs his surprise and approval and when she eventually pulls away he's left pleasantly stunned against the door.

"What was that for?"

"Just…for everything."

* * *

><p>The four of them go out to dinner to celebrate and it's one of the best, least eventful nights out the foursome have ever managed.<p>

She doesn't get pissed off at anything, Finn doesn't try kicking anyone's ass, Puck doesn't even so much as look at a woman and they don't lose Britt at any point the entire night!

The four of them make a great team and looking back she has no idea how she survived without them after high school for so long. She could never really have expected it to turn out this way but now she can't imagine what her life would be like without any one of them. Especially Finn.

They toast to their friendship, and the baby and their new business venture and Finn caps it off by officially asking Puck and Brittney to be Godparents.

It went without saying really but still, it was a nice moment...

* * *

><p>She lets him turn the garage into a 'guys' room, so he can put his drums in there and a poker table for when the guys come round or whatever. It's basically her way of letting him have his friends over without actually letting them into the house. She sets up her office and they arrange the bedroom and living room with a 5050 input (well more like 70/30 in her favor he just doesn't realize) and the kitchen pretty much stays the same because no, they probably won't be spending a lot of time in there.

The only thing left is the baby's room. They have everything except a crib (which she's totally freaking out about because he keeps saying he'll take care of it but unless its an invisible or highly camouflaged crib, he's clearly failed to do so) and the paint job is old and gross so the whole thing needs completely redoing. She'd do it herself but Finn doesn't trust her to do anything strenuous past lifting a knife and fork while she's home alone on maternity leave, so they pencil it in to do it together next week when he has some time off work but it really bugs her. When something needs doing she has to get it done. She freaks out at him about it and ends up damaging their new bedroom door when she slams it so hard a hinge snaps. Her due date is nearing and yeah, she's stressed...

* * *

><p>He has the lunchtime shift at the bar and after that he promised Puck he'd head over to the store to check on some things and give his input and Britt's needed over there too so she's pretty much stuck on her own all afternoon.<p>

There's nothing on TV and she's exhausted the entire Internet so fuck it, she decides to get started on painting the baby's room. She's parading around in just her underwear because every item of clothing she owns feels like it's 3 sizes too small at this point and the freedom of being near-naked is now priceless, but she throws on one of his big denim shirts that still manages to drown her despite the bump, and rolls up the sleeves. If she gets paint on it he'll completely flip out, but it's kind of her way of giving him to finger for telling her she's not capable of doing it by herself.

With the radio blaring she starts applying the white undercoat and yeah, it's kind of tricky when your stomach is so big it makes your arms tiny in proportion like a tyrannosaurus-rex, but she gets it done and smirks with pride knowing she can totally rub this in Finn's face when he gets home.

She's touching up a second coat when Colbie Caillait's 'You Got Me' comes on the radio. She's never heard the song before but it stops her dead in her tracks as she listens intently to the lyrics.

She couldn't relate more to the lyrics if she tried and it's one of those weird moments in life where it seems fate or the universe or whoever is reaching out to you with a wink and a nudge and the whole thing just makes her laugh to herself. Then for some reason, be it the cosmic experience or the paint fumes, she starts dancing like a lunatic, really not giving a single fuck about the reckless impact it has on her painting skills.

An old Bon Jovi track follows and soon she's rocking out like she's on acid or something as drops of paint start flying everywhere. His shirt is kind of ruined but she'll buy him a new one if he gets that pissed about it and she can feel droplets of paint running in random places all over her body.

There's a twinge in her stomach and she gasps, as a liquid that she certainly sure isn't paint and could never in a million years be quantified as a droplet starts running down her leg. Her water just totally broke.

The first thing that crosses her mind is how gross the sensation feels.

The second thing that crosses her mind is that she's in labor.

The third thing that crosses her mind is how much it sucks that she just proved Finn right about how she shouldn't have been painting the room.

The fourth thing that crosses her mind is that _she's in labor._

And the fifth, most silliest thing that crosses her mind as she starts rapidly dialing his number, is that unless she washes the paint off herself before she gets to the hospital, she's going to end up quarantined and have her baby taken away from her immediately from fear that she has leprosy or some kind of white spot disease...


	35. Pain and Perfection

**Wow. Okay so this chapter was definitely the hardest to write and it's probably filled with a million incorrect medical technicalities but never mind! Hope you enjoy! Thanks as always to all reads and reviews! Immensely appreciated! (Not many chapters left now)**

* * *

><p>She's early. Like not freakishly early but still early in a 'this was not supposed to happen yet' way. Completely numb and totally spaced out she slowly sits herself down on the edge of the bathtub and begins dialing his number on her cell. Her mind goes blank as she waits quietly for him to pick up.<p>

It just keeps ringing.

And then it goes to voicemail.

"Okay. No need to panic everybody… Just ring him again."

The shake in her voice far from matches the conviction of her words and when she reaches his voicemail for the second time she lets out a burst of nervous laughter.

"Great. Great great-great-great-great great-damn it Finn! Only fucking job you had the whole nine months was to pay attention to your phone and you can't even-"

She begins pacing the room in a panic of uncertainty. Clutching the sink she bows her head and sucks in a deep breath, getting her head back in focus.

"Okay. Well he's probably driving so…. Just text him instead. Um…"

She starts texting him through shaking hands and her breathing gets louder and uneven as she reads it aloud to herself.

'_**Water's broke. **_

_**Baby coming.' **_

"Uh..."

'_**lol.'**_

Except not 'lol'. Definitely not 'lol'. There's positively nothing fucking 'lol' about the fact, that the person she's been growing inside her has now begun kicking her way out the exit with about as much compassion and gentleness as Hitler on one of his foreign country invasions.

But not knowing what the fuck else to put, she just hits send.

The numbness from the initial shock slowly starts wearing off and so too does her patience.

"Fuck shitty fuck fuck."

She curses under her breath as she tries to figure out what her next move is. She can't wait by the phone forever so it's time to kick into action mode.

"Okay, okay Santana. Let's get rid of the… grossness."

Her head and body separate out of sync as her brain starts spinning at 100mph and her body remains in zombie mode. But somehow she manages to get herself into the bathtub, washing the paint and the 'grossness' off without so much as blinking, not daring to take her eyes off the phone in case he calls. After getting clean she grabs the labor bag from the bedroom that they'd luckily just finished prepping 3 days ago, and begins changing into her 'labor sweats'.

He finally calls back. Apologizes a million times for not picking up, ironically starts yelling at her to keep calm and promises to be there in 5 minutes. He's at the store though so she knows it'll take him at least 15.

He says all the right confident and reassuring things but weirdly enough it's the fact that he sounds completely terrified that actually works in calming her down. It's kind of how they work - like a seesaw. When he's confident she becomes vulnerable, when she's being bitchy he becomes extra sweet and when he freaks out she gets level headed. She's always liked that balance between them and now it's certainly working in her favor.

She convinces herself that everything's going to be fine. She can wait 15 minutes. They'll probably even have time to grab a taco or something before anything really happens. Then of course she feels a twinge that grows into something considerably more painful and suddenly waiting 15 minutes seems like having to wait 15 years.

She calls Finn to tell him to hurry his ass up but it's Puck who answers. He tells her there's some kind of roadblock in the middle of town and in the background she can hear Finn violently swearing and attacking the horn. She hangs up on him. 10 minutes later she experiences her second contraction and it's a lot worse than the first.

"Fuck this shit."

She's not going to sit around and wait for him. She needs a hospital and doctors and every type of drug they stock and she's fearless enough to get there by herself. So she calmly picks up her labor bag and heads out to find a cab...

* * *

><p>The cab driver keeps glancing at her in his mirror and the more he looks the more terrified his expression grows. She must look like some crazy demon woman, all sweaty and breathing heavily and trying overly hard to stay calm.<p>

She tries texting Finn in the middle of the cab ride to tell him to meet her at the hospital but a contraction hits mid typing and she takes her pain out on the buttons so the text ends up being about 7 pages of, 'aaaaskjnskjbvkjbdfvj,a czszdf'.

She does well to control her desire to scream but the cab driver still shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Clearly foreign and unable to speak any English, he works up this routine of glancing back, shaking his head and muttering under his breath in his own language and it starts to piss her off a little. Without saying a word he takes a hand off the wheel and points dramatically to a sign in the cab that states '$50 fine for mess."

She's in maximum pain and discomfort. She looks like a crazy mess, she's completely terrified about what's about to happen, she's royally pissed off that her boyfriend is stuck in traffic the other side of town and apparently she just hopped into the cab belonging to the world's biggest prick.

She figures she's allowed to flip out a little.

"Asshole! Yeah, because I would really love for my baby to come into the world landing on a used road map -which clearly has some disgusting playboy hidden inside it- in a car that smells like utter shit where the first person she'll get to see when she opens her eyes is a cheap, hairy douchebag of a cab driver! You could offer me $50 million dollars to give birth in this cab and I wouldn't unclench for the rest of my life. Plus, I'm a lawyer. So don't try and 'fine' me bitch because I know my way around the justice system well enough to put you in jail for so much as farting in the wrong key. Oh, and my boyfriend is… well my boyfriend is big and he'll kick your ass. So just keep driving dick."

He doesn't understand a single word she says. But he keeps his eyes on the road for the rest of the journey and practically speeds the whole way out of fear of his backseat passenger...

* * *

><p>She gets to the hospital and the ditzy receptionist goes and asks 'how can I help?'<p>

Santana sighs and smiles to herself exasperatedly. Clearly she missed the small writing on her calendar this morning that said it's fucking 'moron's day'!

She leans as far as she can over the counter.

"Lady. I am about to shoot a small but very solid human being out of my hoo-hah. I wants some drugs and I wants 'em now!" ...

* * *

><p>She's taken to a room just in time for her to have yet another more painful contraction. This one hurts like a motherfucker and seeing as she's in a hospital she figures she's allowed to scream a little. As if she has any choice at this point. She needs Finn. And she needs him now.<p>

The doctor runs his tests and it turns out she's 5 centimeters dilated. 'Another 5cm and you'll be ready' he says.

And that's when it hits her that she's not ready. She's not.

Materialistically they have everything, and apparently physically she's halfway there, but mentally or emotionally or whatever she's totally not ready. In a few hours she's going to have a baby in her arms. Her own, little unplanned and premature-in-life baby. She definitely needs Finn.

She needs Brittney or Puck. She needs Carole. Screw it she'd take her own mom at this point, she just needs _somebody_...

She gets settled and soon everything's in place except her schmuck of a baby daddy. She starts flashbacking through their life history, still in freak out mode about everything.

From their high school days, to the night he got his foot run over, to the moment she first told him she loved him...

All the times she's made fun of him or broken his heart and all the times they've argued over stupid stuff and driven each other completely crazy...

They still don't make sense.

Not really, not on paper. But here they are, about to have a baby.

And if it weren't for the insanely painful contractions, she probably wouldn't have it any other way.

She decides to make the effort to tell him that when he gets here. Tell him how much she loves him and everything they've been through and how she doesn't want to ever not have him.

She'll at least tell him that before she gives him the chance to experience a small scale of what she's going through by ripping his fucking face off...

* * *

><p>The relief that floods through her when he finally bursts through the door is probably more than she's ever felt in her entire life. He's bright red in the face, out of breath and sweating buckets and he looks like shit so…<p>

"You look like shit."

Overestimating how much of a handle she has on her emotions she's surprised to hear it almost come out as a sob and as he laughs through his uneven breathing and makes his way over to her, that's kind of what she finds herself doing. He kisses her temple emphatically and begins smoothing her matted hair out of her face, cradling her head against his chest. He's seriously soaked in sweat through his shirt and she'd make a comment about it being gross if she were in better condition to judge. Her relieved sob turns into a chuckle.

"What are you trying to steal my thunder? _I'm_ supposed to be the panting, sweaty mess!"

"I ran the last 3 miles. I got clipped by 3 cars, but I couldn't just sit in the traffic. I'm so sorry baby. How's it going?"

He regrets the question as soon as he asks it because of course she begins ranting with calm but cutting sarcasm.

"Wonderful. Simply wonderful. Just you know, just pushing a person out of my vagina. The doctor put that TV on in the corner because he said it could be a while and it's showing a marathon of 'Beavis and Butthead' and he left without giving me the remote so that's fucking great because you know how much I love that show! There's a excellent moron of a nurse who hasn't given me drugs yet and some Greek motherfucker is going to try and fine us $50 which I thought was just a treat so everything is just simply wonderful."

"Honey, you're squeezing my hand a little hard right now."

He winces and she gives him a maddened smile.

"Baby I haven't even started yet.' ...

* * *

><p>When he witnesses her having one of her contractions for the first time he just looks on, mortified, while she pulverizes every bone in his hand, and then when it passes and she relaxes a little, the idiot actually gets excited, presuming <em>that<em> was the actual moment she had given birth. When she explains that she's had about 10 of those in the last hour, and will continue to have to go through those every 5 minutes for God knows how much longer, he goes an even paler shade of sorry and after that he doesn't wince once as she continues to take her pain out of his now misshapen hand.

* * *

><p>Another hour passes and the pain of each contraction just keeps on increasing. The pain and exhaustion have forced her to succumb to completely relying on the hospital staff and Finn, as her bravado and stubborn independence have been stripped away completely.<p>

She hates having to depend on him to wipe the sweat off her face and drink from the cup her holds out for her. She even needs him to remind her to breath at times when the peak of each contraction hits. But what else can she do. This is the worst most excruciating experience of her entire life and she needs him too much to be embarrassed by it.

Carole makes a surprise appearance and to Santana it's like a 6-year-old kid being woken up by Batman. This woman gave birth to what turned out to be an Ohioan giant, so if she's going to have confidence in anyone coaching her through this, it's Carole Hudson.

The doctors finally give her an epidural and it's truly the best sensation in the world. The pain subsides dramatically and she's advised to get some sleep while waiting to become fully dilated, and she hardly needs convincing to shut her eyes and rest. As she begins drifting off into much welcomed slumber, she can faintly hear Finn and Carole talking quietly in the near corner of the room.

"She's going to be okay right mom?"

"Oh honey. Women are made to do this. And you know how strong Santana is."

"Yeah I know. It's just scary."

She's too tired to move but Carole has it covered.

"When I had you I was terrified." She continues to her son. "The only thing that kept me going was your father and the knowledge that with every passing hour I was one step closer to having you. Your father was amazing that day. He was scared out of his mind but he didn't show it one bit. He wasn't allowed to! And neither are you. You've got to be her rock right now…"

Seriously. God bless this woman.

"What's it like? Seeing your baby for the first time?"

"Magical. You'll find out for yourself soon enough. Words can't describe..."

"Cool."

There's a short pause before Carole lets out a soft 'squee'.

"Oh she's going to be so beautiful! I can already tell. I'm so glad you were paying attention when I told you to be good to Santana so you could give me beautiful grandkids… I mean I wasn't expecting you to take my advice quite so soon but still…."

"Yeah. Fingers crossed she'll get all her mother's genes."

She's too exhausted and close to unconsciousness to smile, but on the inside she's beaming. She's totally desperate to let herself drift off to sleep completely, but when Finn comes out with his next speech she finds herself practically overjoyed that she willed herself conscious enough to hear it.

"Santana's going to be a great mom. She doesn't believe me, she thinks because of her defense issues and impatient temper and fear of baby puke that she won't be, but the thing about Santana is, when she loves something that something automatically becomes the luckiest thing in the world. I've never known anyone to love as fiercely and wholly as she can. She saves her love for the important things. And Lily Adele Hudson is gonna be the luckiest something to feel the effect of that, I just know it."

Carole gasps softly.

"Lily Adele Hudson?"

"Yeah. Technically 'Lilyana' because Santana wanted a Latin name on the birth certificate, but mainly we decided on Lily. And Adele because it's one of Santana's all-time favorite artists plus one of her songs did me a huge favor early on in our relationship… Do you like it?"

"Lily Hudson… Sweetie I love it."

* * *

><p>She wakes up a little refreshed an hour later, but it doesn't take long before she finds herself just as exhausted as she was before her sleep.<p>

She figured she'd be yelling at Finn throughout all this, taking all the pain and frustration out on him, but in reality she's too tired to even speak and she finds herself needing him to be by her side and in physical contact at all times. Another hour later the doctor examines her and to her relief and slight terror, she's officially ready to begin pushing.

This is it..

* * *

><p>She doesn't remember much about the labor.<p>

Just that it seemed to take forever because everything blurred down into slow motion.

She remembers Finn and Carole constantly spurring her on and she has stilled flashes of Finn's determined eyes locking intently with hers, but the rest is just a haze of agony. A haze instantly broken and cleared however, by the first sight of her newborn baby...

Finn's jaw literally drops and they both break into tears without a single care.

There's a slight moment of panic from the lack of sound coming from the baby and they're forced to clear her airways, but soon enough she lets out a loud scream and it's the sweetest noise either new parent has ever heard.

Santana reaches out to Finn and he's still speechless but he kisses her with more emotion than ever and then suddenly finds the energy to begin telling her how much he loves her and what a great job she just did.

She replies with her own overwhelming declaration but her eyes remain fixated on the small, screaming bundle the nurses are cleaning up in the corner. She loves her already. Which is weird because she hasn't even really looked at her, or held her or anything yet. But she just loves her. And the overwhelming level of emotion masks her exhaustion almost entirely.

When they finally bring her over Santana clutches her to her chest and it feels so perfect she thinks she'll have to keep her there forever.

She's perfect.

Ten fingers, ten toes, beautiful giant brown eyes under the fullest set of eyelashes she's ever seen on a baby, the cutest button nose and the softest tuft of dark hair resting on top of a perfectly round head.

They just stare at her for a while, taking in her perfection.

She wriggles her tiny arms around wildly and Santana almost forgets how to breath entirely as a new flood of emotion spreads throughout her body when she meets her daughter's eyes for the first time.

"She's perfect." She rejoices whilst half laughing half sobbing still. "I mean, actually, legitimately perfect and not that fake kind of perfect people say to babies who actually look like wrinkled shoes... This one's genuinely completely perfect!"

"I know." Finn agrees wholeheartedly. "We have a baby girl. That's our baby girl."

The baby wriggles again as Santana gently traces a finger up her stomach, smiling down at her daughter with utter adoration.

"Welcome to the world Lily Adele Hudson... It sucks and your mummy and daddy are probably going to epically screw everything up, but at least you're going to be really pretty!"

"San." Finn laughs through his waterfall of happy tears.

"Loved! At least you're going to be really loved."

She's playing along in humor with the joke, but it's a sincere correction.

Looking down at her daughter, bundled up in her arms with Finn's giant hand gently enclosed around the baby's miniscule fist, she's sure she's going to love her forever. And when Finn dips his head down to place a gentle kiss on the top of Lily's head, she's sure he will too...


	36. Absolute

**Okay.. so this is kind of the last chapter. _Kind of. _There'll be a 2-3 chapter epilogue type thing but that'll be about the future so, this is where the main story ends. Sorry... but i think 30+ chapters is pretty good going! (And possibly crazy). **

**The epilogue chapters will be uploaded before the end of the week so i won't make you wait too long for those and i'll save my final thanks for then.**

**In the meantime, thanks for any reads/reviews so far! Hope the ending is satisfying and worth everyone's time!**

* * *

><p>Only a few hours have passed since her daughter's arrival into the world but Santana can't get enough off her already.<p>

She's infatuated.

While she was pregnant there was this small, panicked voice in the back of head that worried about postnatal depression. She almost predicted that for some reason, she'd experience some kind of resilience or detachment from the baby, that she'd lack the range of emotion and affection most women are comfortable offering. After all, she'd never really cared much for kids before she got involved with Finn.

But as it happens, she's already an overprotective, obsessive and utterly captivated mother and it's been less than a few hours...

The two new parents just sit together and watch her – completely fascinated by every twitch, gurgle and yawn.

Carole holds her for the first time and instantly bursts into tears, which of course sets Santana off again – Hudsons are human onions she swears!

Burt and Kurt shyly shuffle their way in at some point too and Kurt agrees with Santana's earlier comment about Lily being a genuinely perfect baby...

* * *

><p>The two and a half Hummels take turns holding the baby for the first time and by the time she lands in Burt's arms, Santana starts to get a little edgy. No one's doing anything wrong it's just, well, she wants her back.<p>

Everyone in the room is having a good time talking, joking and admiring the baby but Santana's completely oblivious to it, anxiously biting on her thumb as she stares at her baby in Burt's arms in the chair across the room. Carole starts taking pictures and while Kurt and Burt are busy posing, she takes the opportunity for mission 'retrieve baby without offending any Hummels'.

Tugging at the shirt on Finn's arm she pulls him closer and discretely but forcibly enough mutters her discontentment.

"Finn I want her back."

"What?" he asks lightly, leaning in closer towards her.

"Get her back, I want her back."

He looks over at Lily and then back to his clearly discomforted girlfriend, before softening his brow and stroking the top of her head sympathetically with a smile.

"Honey, she's okay, she's like 3 feet away."

"Well it's 3 feet too many! …Please?"

She looks up at him with seriously pleading eyes and it works as he begins nodding and kisses her cheek. She knows it's crazy but surely she's entitled to be a little crazy right now – she did just give birth.

Finn's face contorts into his confused/gassy infant look as his mind starts forming a plan. But Santana's never been good at waiting so she gives him a little nudge, which makes him stumble and catch everyone's attention.

"Uh…. Burt. I need the bathroom. Want to come with me?"

The room goes silent and Santana does a mental face-palm. I mean really? That's the best tactic he could come up with?

Burt's face goes kind of blank.

"What?"

As Finn repeats his question the awkwardness of it seems to sink in.

He perseveres anyway.

"Will you come with me to the bathroom?"

The room goes silent again and even Carole looks a little disturbed at her son.

This is way too tragic and doesn't help her mission in the slightest, so she intervenes with sudden fake laughter.

"Ignore him Burt! He's just making fun of me because I haven't been able to get to the bathroom without him."

Finn looks at her with confusion before clueing in and deciding to play along.

"Haha yeah. She's so clingy it's hilarious. I mean, come on San, are you in your twenties or your twos?"

He laughs a little too hard and Burt's confusion turns to hard disapproval.

"Geez Finn, the woman just had a baby. Give her a break."

Finn stops laughing when Carole smacks him on the arm.

…"Sorry."

The mission can officially be deemed a disaster. But luckily she's in the room with a miracle woman.

"Well speaking of giving you a break, I think it's time we left to let you get some rest my dear. Burt, give her back."

Santana sits up readily, barely able to conceal her relief.

"But... I haven't shown the kid any of my magic tricks yet."

Carole pays no attention to Burt's grumble and just bossily ushers him out of the chair.

"Well you can show her one right now by disappearing and letting her mother have some rest."

He walks over to the bed with a smile and Santana's discomfort finally disperses as her daughter is placed back in her arms.

"Okay. But tomorrow I'm coming back with my magical A-game."

"Move." Quips Kurt. "Move hospitals."

Burt gives his son a playful push before extending his hand for Finn to shake.

"Well, congratulations you two. You created one heck of a beautiful kid."

Santana smiles.

"Thank you Burt. And thank you already on behalf of Lily. She's lucky that you guys are her grandparents."

It's kind of mushy but she means it. And she's so happy to have her baby back she's not really thinking about expectations or appearances.

Kurt exaggeratedly clears his throat for recognition.

"A-hem."

"And her Uncle."

"Uncle." He repeats with a smile. "I still can't believe I'm an Uncle. Congratulations you guys." He adds, leaning in to hug her. "I'm really looking forward to seeing how you both handle this. Oh, and I'll send you my new catalogue for my baby line. Just because they're small, chubby and wrinkly doesn't mean they can't dress fabulously!"

He gives Finn a brotherly hug on his way out the room and Carole takes her turn to hug Santana.

"Well done honey. I can't tell you how proud I am. Of all three of you. Now get some sleep. Trust me, you're going to need it to keep up with this perfect little tyke."

Finn beams at his mother as she makes her way over to him and pulls him in for a hug.

"Thanks mom."

"Congratulations sweetie. Call me if you need anything and if not I'll call you tomorrow when I've lost the will power to stay away any longer!"

Carole enters the doorway with one final wave but Santana can't bite her tongue any longer and meekly calls out to her.

"Carole?… Thank you. For everything. You've been more than amazing throughout this whole thing and I don't know what I would've done without you… If I do a good job raising Lily, it'll be because of your inspiration."

The room goes quiet as her honest and kind words are absorbed, until Carole gives a loud sniff and makes her way back to Santana's bedside, clearly choked up.

"Oh damn it Santana. You're setting me off again. I should be thanking _you_ for giving me my first beautiful grandchild! And for taking care of this one." She adds nodding towards Finn before pulling her in for another hug. "You're already like a daughter to me. I can't wait for him to finally get his butt in gear and make an honest woman out of you so that we can make it official. Let me know if you need anything okay. Anything. Now rest!"

It turns out that Carole is actually some kind of 21st century Jedi. Because as soon as she leaves, despite Santana's determination to stay awake and dote over Lily, resting is exactly what she ends up doing..

* * *

><p>She wakes up to the sight of Finn sat facing her on a chair at the end of her bedside with Lily safely tucked up against his chest in his arms. It's probably the most adorable sight on the planet because the size difference is just hilarious. She sits up in the bed a little, crinkling her nose as she adjusts to being awake.<p>

"See I told you." Finn fake-whispers to the baby. "You get it from your mother."

"Get what from her mother?" Santana asks through a slight yawn.

"This."

His face starts scrunching as he begins exaggeratedly mimicking her nose crinkling habit.

He starts laughing when she can no longer contain a smile.

"Lily does the exact same thing it's uncanny."

"Shut up."

The baby starts stirring a little in Finn's arms and then lets out an ear-piercing howl without warning. Santana winces with pride – if that's even possible.

"Looks like she's as impressed with her father as I am."

"Maybe she just doesn't like it when we argue."

"Well if that's the case she's going to blow her lungs out very quickly."

The howl evolves into a full out screaming fit and soon Finn's pacing the room, bouncing his discontented newborn up and down like a lunatic, his face falling with every minute that passes.

"Why is she still screaming? I'm doing it right, right? Maybe she's afraid of heights or something."

He decides that's the cause of her discomfort but when he sits back down in his chair and she still doesn't let up, it's clear his daughter does not in fact suffer from vertigo. Santana's not surprised. She is however, itching to get her hands on her baby. Finn's not doing anything wrong, she just has withdrawal symptoms again. But really not wanting to dampen Finn's self-esteem (which she knows she will if she says anything), she bites her tongue and patiently watches him try to deal with the situation.

Thankfully a nurse enters the room and suggests that maybe it's dinner time, so she gets her bundle of joy back without Finn feeling undermined – win-win.

As Santana clutches her to her chest the baby immediately starts simmering down and Finn quips a despaired eyebrow.

"Really Lily… What does she have that I don't?"

Santana smirks.

"She's not old enough to fully comprehend the long list of answers to that question… But in this present context the answer you're looking for is… boobs."

* * *

><p>After her first breast-feeding experience – which was beyond weird - the baby settles back into contentment and so too do her parents.<p>

Finn squeezes himself on the bed so he can hold Santana in his arms as she holds their baby in hers and they just sit like that for a while, taking in the moment. When he finally speaks it's in a gentle and soft lull.

"By the way, Puck and Brittney came to visit while you were asleep. They both agreed she's completely gorgeous and takes after you. Puck did a speech from the Godfather and Britt took a million pictures so we've probably got more shots of her finger covering the lens to add collection! She was worried about you… I told her you were fine and you'd call her when you were awake and up to it."

A soft murmur of understanding escapes her lips but if she's honest she wasn't paying all that much attention as her focus has pretty much been on Lily since she was born. The hand on the arm that Finn's had stretched around her has been playing with Lily's foot since they started sitting like this, but he moves it away and up to Santana's shoulder where his fingertips start mindlessly circling in gentle motions.

"So… I've been thinking."

Now he gets her attention and she stiffens slightly in anticipation of what's coming.

Whenever he says those words it means he's about to bring up something serious, and given what Carole said earlier about making an honest woman out of her, she can give a specific guess to what this time's topic will be.

"You know I now have living proof that I'm going to love you forever right?"

She turns her head slightly so she can see him and he rests his jawline to her lower temple as he continues speaking.

"I just, want you to know that I'll never forget this day. And everything you went through these past 9 months. I don't know how guys ever repay women for this… If they ever can… I'm not sure even a lifetime supply of shoes would even cut it."

She laughs softly. She knows he's not finished so it may be too soon to joke and relax but that's kind of what she does.

…"A lifetime supply of shoes wouldn't hurt!"

He chuckles and pulls her closer to him.

"I know this is all kind of crazy but us, as a family. It's gonna work. I promise."

She doesn't know what else to say to that, so she just kisses him. Slow and sweet.

A knock on the door interrupts them, and when she sees it's her parents, she thanks her lucky stars she's already in a hospital, because she nearly dies of shock.

* * *

><p>So apparently Finn called them from her cell while she was asleep to inform them that their grandchild had been born.<p>

She's surprised but kind of grateful that at least she didn't have to do it. The fact that they've actually shown up to see her is an entirely different level of surprise.

It's weird that this is their first time meeting Finn. Instead of just, hey mom this is my boyfriend Finn, it's hey mom this is my boyfriend Finn who I just bought a house with and this is the baby we just had.

But they get along fine and her mom and dad seem genuinely proud and happy with Lily. Still, it's kind of a lot for Santana to take in.

It's nice, and they're nice and the fact that they came is nice, but there's something missing. There's no connection or atmosphere that even remotely resembles when the Hudson-Hummels were here. Everything's just kind of hollow and it's complicated and difficult to decipher why and why her relationship with her family is like this. Essentially it's just years of built up angst and crossed wires that everyone just kind of gave up on fixing...

Their visit is short lived but they take pictures and leave a card and a teddy bear and it's all pleasant enough that she expects they'll play at least a small part in Lily's life...

* * *

><p>In truth she's grateful they showed up. She didn't need them to but it's nice that they cared and she's glad they got to get acquainted with Finn and Lily.<p>

The real gain from their visit however, is that it as soon as they leave a determination sparks up inside her to ensure that the hollowness between her family won't ever exist between Lily and hers.

Sitting in her hospital room tucked into Finn's chest with Lily asleep in her arms she has everything she could want in life.

In that moment she makes a silent promise that she'll never give up on her daughter and no matter how crazy the three of them seem as a family, they'll always make it work, just as Finn had bluntly put it less than an hour earlier...

"Hey Finnocence...?"

He rolls his eyes upon hearing the dreaded nickname before ducking his head to look at her.

"You're right... Our family's going to work."

He smiles and bows his head so he can softly kiss their daughter's nose before sitting back up to give Santana the same treatment.

"I love you Santana."

She doesn't even hesitate.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>For all they'd been through it was now the three of them together.<p>

Taking the jump together.

And for perhaps the first time in her life she feels fearless.

There's literally nothing for her to worry about.

Because she has Finn.

And they have Lily.

And being able to feel a love that absolute, makes everything worth jumping for.


	37. Epilogue Pt1

**Three years later...**

* * *

><p>It's a Saturday morning.<p>

Saturday mornings in the Lopez-Hudson household generally mean being woken up at the crack of dawn by a sudden heavy weight jumping on one of their faces, followed by one of Finn's very unhealthy breakfasts and a morning of watching cartoons. Then they usually take a lunchtime stroll around the park, followed by Santana running errands while Finn takes Lily to dance class with Brittney (unless he has a random afternoon shift at the store), and then chilled out family time in the evening.

They have a routine for Saturdays. Granted they occasionally change it up a little by going to the zoo or the beach or somewhere but more often than not their Saturday's have a structured plan.

Today is not one of those Saturdays...

Lily has the grace and elegance of her father, so whenever she tries to sneak her way out of bed and into her parents room, it's always about as subtle and sneaky as someone shooting a cannonball through the door. As soon as her feet hit the floor, both parents are jolted wide-awake

...as probably are the neighbours… and the whole of China.

In that respect this morning is no different from every other Saturday, but as her little elephant daughter clambers closer to the bedroom, Santana stirs awake enough to realize that Finn is not nuzzling her neck as accustomed on these mornings, and that's when she knows today is not a normal Saturday. She doesn't have any time to consider this further however, as seconds later her beautiful little elephant is standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed.

"Mommy. Are you sleeping?"

Really only deaf people could still be sleeping after that ruckus.

"No baby. Mommy just needs a giant hug from her favorite girl to get her out of bed."

The three year old clambers up onto the bed with some help from her mother and bursts into a fit of giggles as she's rolled upside down and pulled into a bear hug Finn himself would be proud of.

This is secretly Santana's favorite part of Saturdays. And seeing as Finn is god knows where, she makes sure to give their daughter extra snuggles on his behalf.

She settles the toddler on her lap and stifles a yawn as she's presented with a folded up piece of paper.

"What's this? Did you draw something for mommy?"

"Daddy."

"You drew something for daddy?"

Great. That makes his unexplained absence even worse.

"No daddy drew for you. He said we're going on a treasure hunt!"

The excited toddler starts bouncing up and down on the bed before settling down to chew her hair – a sign of overwhelming excitement – waiting for Santana to read the note and respond.

Santana instinctively reaches out to take her child's hair out of her mouth whilst keeping her eyes attached to reading the note.

The top of the note simply reads 'check bedside' in brackets and then there are a series of cartoon drawings followed by some kind of poem at the bottom of the page and a giant question mark drawn on the back. She looks to her left and sure enough on her bedside drawer is another note with his unmistakable scrawl of handwriting on it.

_**Morning sugar! **_

_**Please please please please pretty please take Lily on this treasure hunt I've set up. I've been planning it for weeks and I promise it'll be worth it when you get to the end. You just have to find six little clues (Lily has the first one) and I designed it all, so obviously it won't be that difficult! **_

_**You have to do it. It's very important.**_

_**Imagine I'm jigsaw and I'm forcing you to do it!**_

_**Actually wait, don't do that that's kind of creepy. **_

_**Just **_

_**I'm waiting for you at the end so please. You won't regret it I promise!**_

_**(Plus Lily really wants to and you're a bad mother if you don't let her.) **_

_**K bye. Love you! **_

_**Oh also, if you could try and finish it before dark, that'll be great! Love you!' **_

She really wishes Finn would warn her before pulling stunts like this. It's impossible to say no to her daughter when she's already this excited.

Good thing pay back's a bitch…

"Well. Looks like daddy's leading us on a treasure hunt."

Lily puffs out her cheeks and gives an excited squee that's just too adorable not to laugh at, before flapping the note Finn gave her in her mom's face.

"What does this say mamma?"

"Let's have a look shall we…

**Too many sandwiches, you get sick of the taste,**

**But oh my what a shame to put good bread to waste,**

**So who can we feed them too? I hear you both ask,**

**Well perhaps your feathered friends, down at the park,**

**Will help you to find (in return for a treat),**

**Your next clue in the hands of something light on her feet."**

Okay so ducks at the park. She can handle that. That's a Saturday anyway.

Lily bursts into an overjoyed shriek that causes Santana to wince through a smile and then without warning she rockets off the bed, running as elegantly as ever towards her own bedroom. Santana shakes her head chuckling to herself before forcing her body to get itself out of bed, heading after the three year old.

"Mija what are you doing?"

She holds back a laugh as she enters her daughters room to find her stood with a toy compass and a fishing net in each hand trying to shuffle her feet into her favourite ladybug rain boots whilst still dressed in her pajamas.

She is so her father's daughter.

"We're going to the park on a treasure hunt!"

"Yes but we need to get dressed properly and have breakfast first silly. Come on. Tony the Tiger's a-waiting."

And with that she lifts her slightly deflated child out of her boots and carries her downstairs to the breakfast table...

* * *

><p>When they get to the park it's obvious where the next clue is.<p>

Brittney's standing in the absolute center of the field, feet together, back straight, clutching an envelope to her chest probably having taken Finn's instruction to stand there and wait for them a little too seriously.

Lily spots her Godmother as soon she gets out of the car and runs over to her at full speed. Santana shakes her head with a smile as the blonde sweeps the little brunette into her arms and tosses her in the air yelling 'you found me!"

"Of course you got roped into this." Santana jokes as she approaches her best friend.

"Aunt Brittney we're on a treasure hunt and one of the ducks has the clue so we need to give it some bread and then it will tell us where my daddy is."

"Really?" Britt asks wide-eyed and dramatically. "Well then let's get started giving the duckies their breakfast shall we?"

She sets her down and takes her hand as they walk over to the edge of the pond with Lily recklessly throwing the loaf of bread she's holding around in the air. She hits an old man in the shins and Santana knows she shouldn't laugh but she does...

It's kind of a miserable day to be at the park feeding ducks, but she hears no complaints from the other two.

The three of them spend a good half-hour throwing clumps of bread into the water - the two women crouched beside the three year old, with Santana fiercely gripping the back of the waistband on her daughter's jeans to prevent her trying to jump on the ducks like she did the first time they brought her here when she was able to walk. To be honest she's not sure which of the other two is having more fun, but when a swarm of geese arrive it's time to call it a day. (Let's just say Brittney and geese don't get on – she thinks they're too conceited.)

Lily protests slightly stating they've yet to find the duck with the clue but when Britt unzips her jacket to reveal a giant duck printed on her shirt and presents the envelope she's been holding the entire time, her daughter finally understands the riddle.

Lily takes the envelope and slumps herself down on the grass with a look of pure concentration as she begins tackling the task of opening it and Santana uses this distraction as a chance to grill Brittney a little.

"Britt, what's Finn up to?" she asks quietly taking the blonde aside.

"It's a treasure hunt. You follow the clues and get the treasure at the end."

"Yeah okay, but, where's the end?"

"I can't tell you."

"Sure you can. The game's for Lily, not me."

"No I mean I can't tell you. I don't know where the end is, i only know where you're supposed to go next. Finn just told me to take the weekend off and show up here with the letter."

"Wait. He told you to take the weekend off? What about your classes?"

"I cancelled them and closed the studio for the weekend… It's no big deal the music store's closed too."

"What?"

She's genuinely shocked. Closing the store and making Britt take the weekend off to take your daughter on a treasure hunt is a bit much, even for Finn.

"He closed the store. This is ridiculous. If they don't know already, Puck and Andy are gonna be so pis… ton heads."

(Lily's gotten into the habit of repeating words when she hears them for the first time, so Finn made her promise to stop cursing or saying bad phrases in front of their kid. She's still getting used to it.)

"They know. And they're not piston heads. We all agreed on closing for the day. At first I wasn't so sure because when he asked if I wanted to be a part of a treasure hunt all I could think of was how pirates scare me because they're like homeless people from the south but like, with swords… But then Finn promised there wouldn't be any pirates, so I was happy to volunteer!"

Santana shakes her head. This is all still a bit much.

"This treasure better be actual treasure. As in he better have won the state lottery or had a wealthy relative die or something because if we get there and the prize is a lollipop _I'm_ going to be a complete piston head."

"I wanna be a piston head!" cries out a small voice that makes Santana do a 180.

"No you don't sweetie."

Finally paying attention to her daughter Santana realizes she's opened the letter at last and is now holding a photograph of Finn. There's more scrawled writing on the back and when Lily notices she flashes her inherited dimples and starts waving it around for her mom to take the hint.

Santana inhales deeply and gives a sarcastic "Oh great, I wonder where we're going next!"

Thankfully only Britt picks up on the tone, grinning widely as Santana rolls her eyes with a quipped eyebrow before crouching back down to read the note to her eager daughter.

"**There's a song in my heart, that sings for you both,**

**For my two favorite girls, it does mean the most,**

**For S the artist comes first and for L in the middle,**

**At the place where I work, you will find the next riddle,**

**Your first clue if you've found her will provide you the key,**

**Search through the racks – I'd look alphabetically."**

This one leaves Lily stumped, so Santana has to break it down her a little.

"Okay Lily, so where does daddy work?"

"Um… at his music shop."

"Right. And who's mommy's favorite singer?"

"Lil Wayne."

"No…"

-okay so clearly she needs to stop Finn letting his three year old pick the CD's on their car journeys.

"Okay what's your middle name? Lily…?"

"Adill."

"Close enough. So we need to go to daddy's music shop and find mommy's favorite Adele record."

Lily starts clapping and when Santana looks up, so too is Brittney.

"Well done San. Finn had to explain it to me like 5 times before I got it!"

* * *

><p>They get to the music store and the first thing she notices is the giant 'Closed For Personal Reasons' sign attached to the door. She's really not impressed but Lily definitely is.<p>

"I hope we find daddy soon!" she tells her mother giddily as Britt fumbles with the keys.

"Me too sweetie" Santana replies, secretly daydreaming about how she's going to inflict physical pain on her beloved irresponsible lug of a boyfriend. (In an affectionate way of course…)

Brittney lets them in the building and as they make their way to the back room to turn on all the lights, Lily grips her mother's hand is tighter than ever as they walk through the darkness. She's been scared of the dark ever since Finn let her watch 'Monster's Inc.'

(Not that she was scared of the movie, it's just Finn then started nicknaming Lily, 'Boo', because he considers their resemblances uncanny, and then Lily got confused and thought what happened in the movie was going to happen to her and…. Well it was just one giant parental screw up that meant Finn had to stay siting with her until she fell asleep for about 7 weeks.)

Once the lights are on and the three year old regains her confidence she excitedly bounces over to the 'A' section where one particular Adele record immediately stands out. There's a sticky note attached with a typical Finn Hudson cartoon drawing on it. They open the CD case and an extremely folded note falls out that says '_Open envelope, don't open bag.' _

On the floor, sticking out from under the shelf is a brown paper bag clearly containing some kind of plastic box inside it and an envelope saying 'open me' placed on top.

One of the lights in the store starts to blink a little so Lily ushers her mother to hurry up reading out the next clue and Santana doesn't need asking twice to hurry this whole thing along. Inside is another photo, this time of Carole and Burt from their wedding, and the next clue that reads:

"**I found my own angel in a very dark place,**

**Where I ended the night with my foot in a brace,**

**For those of you who were not there at the time,**

**I'll give you a hint with a much clearer rhyme,**

**Your favorite guy (except me) has your next link,**

**So go to the place Mr Mohawk likes to drink."**

It's not really surprising how quickly her daughter is able to come up with the answer to this one.

Aside from Finn, Puck is in fact her favorite guy in the whole universe and she pretty much hangs on his every word. Seriously, the kid's like a sponge when she's around him, taking in and absorbing absolutely everything he says and does.

So it's really not surprising that she knows the answer to the riddle.

_Surprising_ would definitely not be the word she's pick to sum up the scene of a three year old excitedly yelling the answer…

"Back Door Patooties!"

… _Mortifying_ would probably be the word she'd pick.

* * *

><p>As they pull up on the side of the street near the bar her hopes diminish as she sees he's not waiting outside for them as she'd prayed.<p>

There's no way she's taking her baby girl into 'Back Door Patooties'. It's basically a strip joint for disgusting, sleazy guys who have nothing better to do on Saturday afternoons.

Which is obviously why Puck's waiting inside and not out…

She calls his cell and he doesn't answer so she's forced to march in there and literally drag him out by his ear.

"Ow, chillax woman!"

She eventually takes her hands off him when they get out the bar but only so she can smack him across the arm.

"You're gross you know that."

He knows exactly why she's pissed but he just thinks it's hysterical.

"Hey, I'm just doing as instructed. If I had gone anywhere else you wouldn't have found me."

"Yeah well it was my three year old who knew where to find you so your godfather privileges have officially been revoked for 3 weeks."

The smug grin slides off his face in an instant and she can't help find his distress endearing – at least on the inside.

"Hey it's not my fault. I didn't design the trail, Finn did."

"Oh don't worry. I'll be revoking all kinds of Finn's privileges when we find him. Which brings me onto my next point, where the hell is he? I've tried calling him like 10 times already and he's not answering."

"Well unless I'm mistaken I'm only clue number 3 so you've got another 3 to go to find out."

"Oh come on Puck tell me. I just want to know where we're going and how long it's going to take!"

"There's no need for you to know any of that."

"Like hell there isn't!"

"Oh really. Why. Why do you need to know?"

"Because… "

She just does.

"...Well how am I supposed to know what to do for lunch if I have no idea where we're going or how long this is going to take? We've been at this for hours already and Lily and I are starving!"

He raises a snarky, knowing eyebrow and she can only scoff.

"Well, _I_ am! ...Oh come on Puck. Just tell me. This is Lily's game not mine!"

The eyebrow stays raised as he goes to enter the backseat of the car.

"Is it?"

And with another smug grin the sly bastard opens the car door, unleashing the full force of an excited Lily bursting to see him.

She hears him address her with a gleeful "L-Hud!" as she storms her way round the vehicle and back into the driving seat. She could never really revoke his godfather privileges. It would be more of a punishment to Lily than anything else.

Plus if she's honest she's mostly angry with Finn. Well, not angry. She's not angry she just… doesn't like not being in control.

When she gets herself comfortable back in the car, Puck's already hyped Lily up about the next clue. He opens the envelope with an ease Lily can only admire and pulls out another picture, this one of Santana. He turns it over and starts reading aloud in a dramatic fashion that's difficult not to find hilarious.

**"Time's getting on and I bet bellies are rumbling,**

**20 bucks says your mom's started grumbling,**

**But fear not my bambinos because lunch is on me,**

**And if you finish your veggies the next clue you'll see,**

**So go forth to the holy land, there's only one place to go **

**But this time Lily Hudson no carrots will you throw!"**

Breadsticks.

Okay so maybe her stomach does a little jump for joy at this one.

Free lunch at what is indeed the holy land?

Well played Hudson... well played.


	38. Epilogue Pt2

They get to the restaurant and Lily forces Puck and Santana to help her leap from square to square across the pavement towards the entrance by taking hold of her arms and flinging her. (It's kind of a tradition she and Finn have when it comes to Breadsticks).

It's damn lucky that Lily's one of the few things in life Santana loves more than the 'sticks, because at this point she's so hungry she'd probably have thrown the tot straight from the car to the waitress in one swoop to speed things along if she didn't. She deserves an award for this kind of parental stuff...

They eventually make it through the doors and Puck starts acting strange as he takes command of the situation.

"Uh… _code: 4L_." He says shiftily, leaning over the counter towards the waitress.

The waitresses eyes widen as she slowly nods and smiles before answering with an "Ah yes, right this way sir."

So that's all kind of weird...

But at least they're nearly eating food.

They're seated straight away to a table already set out for four but as soon as they get comfortable the waitress starts up the weirdness again.

"Your meals will be out shortly."

"We haven't ordered yet." Santana quietly states in bewilderment. But the waitress is already gone.

Puck sits back into the bench, already chomping on a breadstick and casually wavers the situation off.

"It's all taken care of."

Santana grits her teeth. She's back out of control and more specifically out of control of the breadsticks menu.

But Lily takes an uneasy breath that captures her mother's attention away from her menu-dismay. Santana looks down at her side surprised to see her previously hyperactive child now languid and lost in her own quiet world of sadness, the picture of Finn from the second clue laid out across her lap.

Santana affectionately smooths down the back of her toddler's hair, leaning down to speak to her on her level.

"What's wrong baby?"

The child hesitates, pouting a while before giving an answer.

"I wish daddy was here."

"You don't want to play the treasure hunt anymore?"

"Yeah I wanna play. But I wish daddy was here now… On a timeout. We never eat without daddy."

That's true. They've never eaten at breadsticks without him. Having to substitute Puck in her step-leaping tradition must've reminded her of that fact.

"The poem said I got to eat up everything on my plate so we can find him. But what if I can't eat it all! It's a secret but daddy always finishes up my carrots when I don't wanna eat them no more…"

(-That's never actually been the world's best kept secret)

"…What happens if I don't finish and we don't find him? Will he ever come home?"

The prospect of such a notion causes her little bottom lip to start trembling.

Santana instinctively wraps her arms around her emotional toddler's waist, and pulls her on top of her lap, squeezing tightly as she presses their cheeks together.

"Baby he'll always come home. Always."

She lets that sink into her sweet little child's brain just holding her for a while until she can feel the worries and doubts fade away. Then she turns her around on her lap slightly she can look at her daughter's face.

"But that doesn't even matter because we are the greatest treasure hunters in the galaxy and we won't give up until we find him!"

"Here here!" Puck cheers waving his empty wine glass in the air and making Lily laugh a little in the process.

Brittney leans across the table towards her with her hands cupped around her mouth and loudly whispers,

"Plus if you don't finish your carrots Lily, I'll finish them for you!"

Santana smiles at her two best friends and then down at her daughter, whose mood seems to have uplifted dramatically in the last 10 seconds. Lily leans as far across the table as she can to her Godmother and loudly whispers back,

"Okay. But you have to sit on your legs because whenever mommy catches daddy she always kicks him under the table. Sometimes he wears shin-guards. But don't tell mommy because daddy says 'what she doesn't know let's him live longer."

Secret keeping and discretion are also abilities she inherits from her father and therefore lack completely.

"Come on Miss Confidentiality." Santana jokes, maneuvering her child off of her lap and out of their booth. "Let's go get some crayons from the play box."

* * *

><p>When their meals are finally brought out Lily's the first to finish and the only thing clearer than her plate are Brittney's legs, which thankfully get to remain bruise-free. Lily immediately starts cross-examining her plate for the promised clue and once she realizes to flip it over, a bright smile appears on her face when she sees a small, folded piece of paper taped on the underside. This is indeed only a small piece of paper and when it's unraveled it just reads <em>'code: 4C<em>'.

Puck leans forward with feigned excitement.

"Right kiddo, now that you've found the code, you've got a special mission to tell it to that nice waitress over there, who's really a pirate in disguise! And if it's the right code, she'll give you the next clue for the next stop on our treasure hunt!"

Lily instantly begins clambering her way out of the booth, not waiting for her mother's instruction or permission to tell her to 'go with Uncle Puck'.

The two women left at the table just gaze after them, the brunette smiling at the show Puck's putting on for her daughter and the blonde staring the waitress up and down suspiciously after stiffening instantly from Puck's mention of the word 'pirate'. The waitress takes them off towards the kitchen and when the duo return the shorter one's carrying a giant cupcake, speared by a giant toothpick that has the next photo-clue attached to it. This one's a little random. It's a picture of the glee club from senior year with a red ring circled around Mr Schuester Lily hands it over to Puck and scrambles onto her mothers lap as soon as they get back to the table. Once she's comfortable Puck begins reading out the clue and this one knocks Santana for six, so much so that she doesn't even notice her daughter chewing her hair the whole way through.

**"The gas tank is full but the GPS needs setting,**

**So where are you going? I bet mommy's sweating,**

**Lily my darling give mom a kiss and a grin,**

**And convince her to take you to the land of Sam and Quinn,**

**You're so very close and if you get there in time,**

**I guaranty no regrets because treasure you will find."**

So... this one makes her stomach jump in more of a, 'jumping really high to angrily drop kick somebody in the head' kind of way.

She's quietly fuming to say the least...

Since lunch was in fact pre-paid by Finn they're able to swiftly exit the diner and as they get back to the car Santana hands her daughter over so she can pull Puck aside.

"Lily honey go with Aunt Britt for a second okay."

Once they're reasonably out of ear-shot she lets her frustrations out… on Puck's arm.

"Fucking Indianapolis are you kidding me?"

"Um ow."

"What the hell is he playing at!"

"C'mon it's only a two hour drive."

She can't help but raise her voice a little.

"Have you ever driven two hours with a three year old? Oh and a three year old who's super hyped up because her ignoramus of a father is a giant… ignoramus!"

"Ignor-_anus_!" Lily shouts out from behind them.

(Okay so her plan of substituting big words for rude words didn't really work out there.)

She begins pacing a little under the stress of the situation and it bugs Puck out enough to make him take a hold of her shoulders.

"San, calm down. He's got it all covered. I'm driving and I know exactly where we're going, so you and Britt can take turns entertaining the sprout in the back. You got the bag from the store right? Well that's got the ultimate CD collection of Disney songs in it for the ride and Finn stocked the trunk full of food and drink last night and took all your overnight stuff with him so it's all good."

"Wha- overnight? Where are we going overnight?"

"You'll see."

She shrugs him off and starts pacing again.

"No I'm not going-"

-"Is Finn a good dad?"

She's slightly taken a back by his random question and it stops her movement.

"What?"

"Is Finn a good dad?"

"Yes, he's a great dad but-"

"Is he a good boyfriend?"

"Puck, yes but-"

"Then trust him. He's thought it all through and you and Lily are going to love it. So hush your gums and get in the car. This is not negotiable."

Puck looks as stubborn as ever and she's fast run out of arguments.

She does trusts Finn and Lily looks like she's having fun again, which is really the whole point of this... She takes a deep breath looking at her daughter who's smiling and laughing away with Brittney. Calming herself down she decides she can put away her own stubborn need to be in control and play out the rest of Finn's game. They've come this far already and to be honest part of her doesn't even know why she's being such an uptight, emotional bitch about the whole thing.

(Well she does… but anyway….)

"Fine." She says harshly with one of her best iconic smirk/pout combinations.

"But if she has to pee when we're on the highway she's using your lap!"

Puck rolls his eyes as the two of them head back towards the car.

"Lily mija, come on, we're going on a road trip." she tells her, scooping her up in her arms.

"To find daddy?"

"Yeah we're gonna go find daddy!"

"Yay!"

She wraps her little arms around her mom's neck and delivers two big, typical Lily Hudson kisses to her cheek in quick succession.

"That was from daddy because he told me to do it in the letter and that one's from me."

"Aw thank you honey." She expresses her gratitude by affectionately rubbing noses with the three year old.

(What, her kid's damn adorable and she's allowed to be cute with her!)

Although just to be safe on behalf of her reputation she asks Lily loudly so everyone can hear,

"Do you want some juice before we go?"

Her daughter nods and Sanana gives Puck a smirk, which he returns with a half terrified half angry glare...

* * *

><p>So the trip to Indianapolis is pretty much as painful as expected.<p>

They go through the entire Disney collection three times and neither Lily nor Britt let up on belting the tunes out at the top of their lungs.

Lily then proceeded to throw up everywhere after their third successive rendition of 'Hakuna Matata', putting a puked stained Santana in a mood that was far from any kind of 'matata'.

The 'clean up' added an extra 40 minutes to their trip so by the time they get to the district it's fairly late and both 'disney princesses' have fallen asleep in the back...

They enjoy the blissful silence for a while until Puck hands Santana his phone and tells her to hit send on the pending outgoing message which she sees is a message to Finn saying '_code: 30M_'.

"Puck seriously. What is all this?"

"You'll see."

"Yeah well what I see, is my daughter passed out, exhausted in the backseat of a car that's leading me god knows where…"

"You've really turned into an uptight parent haven't you."

She resents that accusation. But it's very obviously true.

"Of course I have. She has a father who randomly springs out-of-state treasure hunts for her, she needs one parent to be responsible."

(Plus, well… her moods are all over the place.)

Puck purses his lips in understanding before quietly stating,

"You got to admit, this is kind of cool though. I mean, look how much fun she's had today. Our dads never did anything like this for us."

That's true. They didn't. And Finn's dad never had the chance.

They spend the rest of the journey in silence. Puck's eyes ahead on the road, and Santana's down at her phone as she flickers through old pictures of their little family. She just really wants to see Finn at this point...

* * *

><p>"Here we are." Puck says breaking the silence and waking Brittney up in the back seat.<p>

She looks up from her phone for the first time in like 20 minutes and realizes there's a valet boy staring at her through the car window.

"A hotel. Is this the prize? What has he arranged some kind of weekend vacation?"

"Maybe…" Puck teases coyly while unbuckling his seatbelt. "Lily's prize is in there. You got 10 minutes to check into the room and freshen up or whatever and then Britt and I are going to keep Lily busy while you carry on."

"..Carry on?"

"Carry on your treasure hunt. Your next destination's wired into the GPS so just follow it and then when you get there text '_code: 0S_' to Finn and he'll give you the final clue to find him."

He steps out of the car to talk to the valet and Santana decides to ignore this worrying new piece of information as Lily begins stirring in the backseat.

* * *

><p>They check in and Santana's as confused as ever as they head up to their two rooms. As soon as Santana and Lily enter theirs it's clear Finn's already been there and the three year old's eyes widen in wonder. There are all kinds of banners and balloons literally everywhere, and perched on the center coffee table is a giant princess treasure chest.<p>

"It's the treasure chest mamma! We found it!"

"Careful Mija!" Santana warns as her little elephant child disappears into the sea of balloons, making more noise than ever.

The chest's filled with enough toys to satisfy a child at Christmas and the table's scattered with pamphlets for the local attractions under a note that says 'Lily's choice'.

Lily's clearly overjoyed with her treasure, and the issue of being spoilt aside, Santana's happy to see her daughter so happy.

Puck and Brittney soon saunter into the room and while Britt doesn't hesitate to join in with the reaping of the rewards, Puck gives an exaggerated tap on his watch and starts showing Santana to the door.

"Well, the clock's ticking. Time for you to get a move on Lopez. We got this one covered."

"Puck-"

"Nu uh. Go on. Get out of here!"

Lily soon realizes what's going on and steps away from her presents with a moment of panic.

"Where's mamma going?"

"She's going to go find your dad."

"I wanna go find daddy!"

"Actually L-Hud, your mom's gotta do this one by herself…"

The toddler looks up at her mom completely dejected and to be honest it breaks Santana's heart a little.

Yeah she knows Lily's had super fun all day and is completely pleased with her presents but they all know the main thing she's been most excited about finding was Finn...

Santana almost breaks and is about to say 'screw the rules Lily's coming with me' when Brittney scoops the kid into her arms instead.

"But we're going to stay here and play with your new treasure, and order lots of fries and ice cream and have a Disney princess dance party while mommy goes and finds her own 'treasure'. And the quicker she finds it, the quicker you're daddy will be here and we can turn him into a Disney princess with us and Uncle Puck! Does that sound good?"

A small smile breaks out on her face that seems to convince Puck and Brittney she's okay, but mothers always know differently and Santana can tell her daughter's putting on a brave face.

"Yeah I guess..." the toddler pouts. "Go find the treasure quick mamma!"

"Yeah go on woman. Shake a leg!" Puck yells flapping towards the door.

"Yeah shake a leg woman!" Britt repeats.

Lily laughs and attempts to join in.

"Shake your leg you woman!"

Santana just frowns at all three of them.

"Remember, _code: 0S_." Puck repeats sternly.

She sighs..

"Fine. But easy on the fries and ice cream!" she daggers towards the two grown-ups, as she makes her way over to hug Lily.

"Come here sweetie. Be a good girl for your silly godparents because they need looking after more than you do okay. And I'll be back before you know it. Love you baby."

"Love you too mamma. Good luck!"

And with that Santana grabs the car keys and her purse and storms out the building.

Britt's right. The quicker she finds Finn, the quicker she can bring him home to his daughter...


	39. Epilogue Pt3

It turns out that the destination's only a 10 minute drive away and somehow all of it actually looks kind of familiar.

When she gets there she sends the stupid code text to Finn and then realizes it's stupid and that she could have just called his cell, which she does.

He ignores her calls though and just sends a text back with her final clue. She's really getting tired of this riddle thing.

**I remember a day when two broken doves,**

**Once sat in a tree and soon fell in love,**

**And now one of those doves is now sat in that tree,**

**And waiting for his other half to find him and see,**

**No more riddles or metaphors and indeed no more jokes,**

**Just the treasure you seek from the man you love most.**

She looks around and it all finally clicks that she's at the gardens where Sam and Quinn held their wedding reception.

Then it clicks that he's talking about the tree she nearly killed herself trying to climb to get to him after she harshly mocked his song journal all those years ago...

Just as she starts thinking for once that this is all really sweet and amazing, it dawns on her that it's like a half hour trek to get to that tree.

And then she goes back to being kind of pissed...

* * *

><p>Striding through the field with her arms crossed tightly around her chest to keep her warm, a million ideas float through her head about how she can kill him most effectively. It's starts drizzling a little and the ideas get more sadistic...<p>

As she gets closer to the back of the field where the trees are she can see his giant silhouette in the branches and can't help but think if anyone else had passed through here and seen him they'd probably have called the police and had him carted off to jail by now. He looks like a crazy person. A serious crazy person.

Once she's close enough to see him and his Cheshire cat grin properly, she reaches down to pick up some of the random rocks and fallen fruit scattered around the ground and begins hurling them at him with admirable accuracy and power.

"Ow. Santana. Stop it's just me!" He cries out from above. "It's Finn!"

"I know it's you!" she shouts back still tossing her ammunition. "Of course it's you! It's not like there's such a wide choice of people in trees that i could mistake you for somebody else you moron!"

"Okay stop. Stop! ...Why are you mad?"

"Why am I mad? Hhmm I don't know. Maybe because my idiot of a boyfriend ditched work today to lead me and our baby girl across the country on a wild frickin goose chase for hours on end and now I'm wet, I'm tired, I'm covered in puke and my baby is emotionally exhausted in some random hotel, upset that she hasn't been able to find her daddy!"

"Wait she's upset? What do you mean she's upset? And who puked?"

"Urgh. Just get your ass out that damn tree and go make good with your daughter."

He 'Tarzans' his way down from the tree while she stands there stubbornly scowling with her arms crossed again and it's only then that she notices how good he looks. He's actually in a suit – no tie but it's still smart – and it looks like he's actually combed his hair for once instead of leaving it in his natural Jimmy Neutron lick.

As he struggles his way down with a deeply disparaged look on his face, she starts to feel a little bad.

She has no idea how long he's been sat in that tree waiting for her, after putting so much effort into the whole day and the first thing she did when she turned up was throw stuff at him...

She softens her expression as he finally gets to ground level – she's always been a sucker for him in a suit.

He seems to sense her recoil and a coy smile breaks out on his face.

"Are you really pissed at me?"

He steps closer towards her. She doesn't move she just watches him.

And as he gets in touching distance she can smell his aftershave and now she knows she's really screwed.

"No. I'm just… really tired and I don't get what's going on. You should have told me you were doing this."

"But then it wouldn't have been a surprise."

"Exactly. And then I could have prepared for dragging our three year old across country."

(She's not quite calm enough to stop exaggerating.)

"I thought this would be fun. I didn't mean anyone to get upset!"

He looks genuinely apologetic and she can't keep trying to guilt trip him any longer.

She knows it's not been anywhere near as traumatic as she's made out and she knows she's completely overreacted all day when she probably shouldn't.

It's been years, but she still hasn't decided whether the skill he has in catalysing her epiphanies with just one look is a good thing or a bad...

She looks down at the ground so she can avoid his sorry expression and her foot tellingly begins scraping back and forth amongst the leaves.

"Your daughter's not upset." She pouts through her confession. "She's been bouncing off the walls all day. She's just desperate to see you."

He cranes his neck so his face is level with hers and as she's forced to look at him she rolls her eyes at the smug smile he's trying to restrain.

Fucker knows he's got her where he wants.

"And you?"

"I'm mad at you for springing this all on me. And for making everyone ditch work. But I guess… I've been kind of desperate to see you too."

She lets him put both hands on her cheeks to pull her in for a kiss, and that pretty much signals the end of her being pissed with him and stubborn about the day.

She instinctively wraps her arms around him underneath his jacket and she has to admit it feels good to be in his arms. It's been long awaited since he skipped out on their routine Saturday snuggle this morning.

"So did Lily enjoy her presents?"

'Yes. When I left she'd already started trying them out on Puck."

He grins at the thought.

"So it's officially a successful treasure hunt day then!"

"I think it's more of a successful 'spoil your daughter while being a reckless dad' day."

He chuckles as he spins her around.

By this point he has her caught in this weird hug/dance thing that she doesn't quite know how to define. She doesn't care though. They're under the shelter of the trees so she's now out of the drizzle and he's totally warm and she just kind of fits against him.

She doesn't really want to break it but he steadies them and pulls his body away from her a little so he can look at her.

"Come on admit it. It was an epic and well laid out plan."

Maybe...

She's not going to admit that after the fuss she's made though.

"That depends on what my treasure is... Do you happen to have a new Prada purse hidden up in that there?" she jokes, nodding up towards the tree.

"Uh no. Unless the new range of Prada is made out of branches and designed so you can effectively carry small birds around in it."

She giggles at his lame joke.

"Have you got the photos from the clues?" he asks kind of randomly, fully detaching himself from her.

"Um.. well, Lily kept the one of you -but don't look too smug you know how she likes to chew paper- but here." She offers taking the other 5 clues out of her purse.

"Oh. Mmmm well... that's okay."

He lays the photos out carefully in a row in front of her feet, standing in between a picture and the question mark from the first clue.

She has no idea what he's doing.

"Just pretend the picture of me goes where I'm standing…"

He stands there looking at her for a while and then a small breaks out on his face.

"…Figure it out?"

She looks down at the pictures.

She really has no idea so she just calls out what she sees.

"Uh.. Will Schuester... me... Carole-Burt... you… question mark."

"Okay, drop the Schuester and say it again from my perspective. Like, what I would say if I was looking at it where you are."

She thinks this is kind of stupid but he's looking at her like her life depends on her playing along.

"Will.. you... Carole-Burt... me... question mark… What? –Oh! ...Oh?"

It makes no sense to her while she's saying it but then a light bulb goes off and she freezes.

Suddenly the whole day makes sense.

But then her brain starts to malfunction and all she can then focus on is how he has once again has jam on his fucking shirt.

"Santana Lopez I love you. I know 'forever' scares you but when I think about what it would be like for us to spend it together it just.. well it just makes me happy. We drive each other crazy and we fight and we screw up but we're a team and you make me brave and bold enough to be able to stand here and just know that forever can work because I want to love you forever. And I want to spend every day making you feel as brave and bold about that as I do. Starting from today..."

He takes a step towards her.

"I think it's time you stop running... and let me catch up with you."

He licks his lip nervously before setting his jaw with determination.

"So I took on board your constructive criticism from the last time I asked you this and I'm praying I did this right enough for the answer to be different because I have a question to ask you."

He actually gets down on one knee and pulls a tiny black box out of his inside jacket pocket.

"Will you marry me?"

She studies his face. He looks kind of terrified. And she doesn't blame him given their history with this. But for the first time, she's not.

She loves him. She loves their family. She loves their life. She loves that he wants to be her husband, to be officially hers.

And she finally loves the idea of officially being his. I mean, she really _loves_ it.

She smirks.

"...What took you so long to ask Hudson?"

She can see his brain almost explode with her response, and he genuinely doesn't know which way to take it.

"… Is that a yes?"

The smirk turns into an innocent and honest smile.

"Yes. It's a yes."

A short burst of nervous laughter escapes him and then his expression turns serious as he stands to put the ring on her finger.

She bites her lip as he does it and somehow a silent tear escapes from her eye.

She shakes her head. Who'd have thought that Finn freaking Hudson would be the one to put a ring on it...

And not just that, but make her cry tears of happiness while he did.

"I love you." He states earnestly, delicately wiping the tears from her face with a smile.

"...You have jam on your shirt." She laughs through her emotion. (She couldn't not say it.)

He laughs with her and rolls his eyes.

"Ah man! And here I was thinking I'd done this all perfectly this time…" he jokes sarcastically.

She wraps her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoes to look into his eyes.

"Actually you kind of did."

Her sincere praise is accompanied by their first kiss as fiancé and fiancée and she definitely makes it count...

"To be fair." He murmurs softly when their embrace is broken. "You have puke on your shirt…."

"Yeah you can blame your daughter for that." She laughs. "Actually no, you can blame Puck…. Actually technically I guess you'd have to blame yourself, Mr Perfect."

"Oh... Sorry, soon-to-be Mrs Perfect."

He smiles and leans back in to make their second kiss as an engaged couple count too...

* * *

><p>After a while of just kissing each other in the shelter from the light rain the skies begin to clear and the two become aware that 'a while' has actual been 'a long while'.<p>

"We should probably get back to our daughter." Finn suggests, lightly pressing their foreheads together.

"Yeah." She softly agrees. "She really loves you, you know that?"

He smiles and she knows he does, but she also knows he loves hearing Santana say it.

She moves a hand to the back of his neck.

"I love you."

Presses one final kiss to his lips, she moves her arms out of the bind they have around his neck and away down his chest.

She smirks again at the adoring look on his face and places her newly blinged hand inside his as they start heading back towards the car.

"Oh by the way I have my own riddle for you…" she teases as she affectionately kicks his ass from behind them like she did the first time they walked together through this field.

"I've spent the whole day working on this…

I arrived a little early the last time I was late,

I lost my calm and patience when I found some extra weight,

Too tired for any action and yet I wont get any sleep,

I'll always have something in me so you'll be on your own for weeks,

I'll laugh at nearly all and I'll cry because of none,

I'll diminish the entire fridge, but in the oven grow a bun."

They stop walking and she turns to look at him as he puts on his thinking face.

She rolls her eyes as he takes his time before looking at her with a quipped eyebrow.

"…You want to become a chef?"

She stops breathing in disbelief.

Idiot.

It was a pretty obvious answer...

She smiles as she looks back on the riddle with his answer and then pinches his chin in a patronising but affectionate manner, before walking away ahead of him.

He stands there in his confusion watching her go.

After a few more yards of leaving him behind, she yells the right answer back at him over her shoulder.

The revelation makes his face drop and he stares after her for a few minutes more, feet rooted to the spot.

Once the words have echoed in his brain enough, he snaps himself back to reality.

"You're pregnant?" he yells at her across the field.

She's covered a lot of ground and is way out in front of him, but he breaks into a run and soon enough he catches up to her.

And when he does they're both beaming with identical grins that shine just as much as the new diamond on her finger.

* * *

><p><strong>END<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>So yeah.. that's kind of it! <strong>

**Thank you so much for sticking with it for nearly 40 chapters. I told ya it would be a long tale!**

**I don't really know what to say to anybody and everybody who gave a review!  
><strong>

**They were all really great and everyone's words were so kind and a lot of them really made me laugh and brought a smile to my mug!  
><strong>**Plus they were all really useful in giving me direction and keeping me motivated, s****o, just thank you so much to anyone who took the time to do that. I really appreciate everyone who did!**

**Yeah... um. I hope you enjoyed reading it. (I understand this pairing is a tad unlikely now on the show, but hey, that's what fanfiction's for!)  
><strong>

**Thanks again to all reads/reviews/favourites etc.**

**Um.. peace out? **


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